A little girl asked her mother , "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied , "No , you can't play with the boys , they are too rough." The little girl thought about it a few moments and asked , "If I can find a smooth one , can I play with him?"
It was the end of the day when a K-9 officer parked his police van in front of the station . While he was gathering his equipment , his K-9 partner started barking at a little boy staring into the van . "Is that a dog you got back there ?" he asked the officer . "It sure is ," the officer replied . Puzzled , the boy looked at him and then towards the dog . Finally the boy said , "What'd he do ?"
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children , as they was on the way to church service . "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church ?" One bright little girl replied , "Because people are sleeping ."
A little girl goes to the barbershop with her father as usual . She stands next to the barber chair eating a snack cake , while her dad gets his hair cut . The barber says to her , "Sweetheart , you're gonna get hair on your Twinkle one of these days ." She says , "Yes I know , and I'm gonna get boobs too."
A mother was away one weekend at a business conference , During a break , she decided to call home collect . Her six-year-old son picked up the phone and heard a stranger's voice say , We have a Marcia on the line . Will you accept the charges ?' Frantic , he dropped th phone and ran outside screaming , "Dad ! dad ! They've got mom !! And they want money !!!"
A wife invited some people to dinner . At the dinner table , she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said , "Would you like to say the blessing ?" "I wouldn't know what to say ," the girl replied . "Just say what you hear Mommy say ," the wife answered . The little girl bowed her head and said , "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner ?"
At the beginning of a children sermon , one girl came up to the alter wearin g a beautiful dress . As the children were sitting down around the pastor , he leaned over and said to the girl , "That is a very pretty dress . Is it your Easter dress ?" The girl replied almost directly into the pastor's clip-on mike , "Yes , and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron,"
A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens . On returning home , he breathlessly informed his mother , "There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens ." How did you know ?" his mother asked . "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath ," he replied . "I think it's printed on the bottom ."
A three-year-o;d boy put his shoes on by himself . His mother notice that the left shoe was on the right foot . She said , "Son , your shoes are on the wrong feet ." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said , "don't kid me Mom . They're the only feet I got."
On the first day of school , about mid-morning , the kindergarten teacher said , " If anyone has to go to the bathroom , hold up two fingers ." A little voice from the back of the room asked , "How will that help."
Thoroughly enjoyed the kids' comments.
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