Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,

My husband and I are in our 60s . An old girlfriend of his recently phoned and left her number . While traveling near her area, he called and invited her to meet him for lunch. He told me all aout it when he returned . He thinks he was honest , but I disagree  . He did not inform the ex-girlfriend that we were married , and he didn't tell me ahead of time that he was meeting her .

We have a good relationship . But , Maxy, most women don't contact an old botfriend unless they have something on their mind , and I think she does. And by not telling her he is attached to someone else , he is giving her the wrong message. What do you say ?

Curious

Dear Curious ,

Of course he should have told you he was planning to call this woman and see her.

And you are right that deliberately or not , he may have given her the impression that he is available.

If you trust him , put this behind you , but make it clear that you expect genuine honesty in  the future .

Maxy

Dear Maxy,

I recently landed a job for which I'm required to use social media . Recently , my boss put me on Linkedln , Twitter. Blackberry , Messenger , Facebook ....we are already connected through two different accounts ; I'm beyond overwhelmed .

Now I have to be careful what I tweet , add on Facebook , etc.           I like to use shorthand spelling for different  social websites . Would it be OK if I wrote shorthand in an e-mail or instant messenger ?

Mindy

Dear Mindy,

Your boss is the one who is aggressively connecting you to social-media outlets. Speak to him directly about how he would  prefer for you to engage on those flatforms . Talk to him about what you know  the protocol to be for communication . Ask whether he prefers formal  business communication or whatever the vernacular is for the particular platform . What does your boss expect and prefer for communication between the two of you as well as for the image of the company when you communicate externally ?

As far as being careful when using social media , that should be true no matter what . So beware.

Maxy

 Dear Maxy,

My father died six months ago in a terrible car crash , and my mom has been strung out on drugs for years . Needless to say I am caring for my two younger siblings , and it has been extremely  difficult . I am a 21-year-old college student with plans to pursue medical school . However , my teenage brothers are distracting me .

They come home whenever they  want and totally disrespect me  if I tell them to do something . I know it's tough for them to take orders from a brother who is a tad older , but I'm not that bad . I just ask them to clean , do their homework , and come in at a decent hour . They have done the complete opposite . How can I enforce my household rules  now that I have guardianship ?

Larry

Dear Larry ,

Please take your brothers  and go to therapy to address your losses and learn how to  manage moving forward.

Talk to your brothers  about goals and dreams and how you intend to make yours manifest . Ask them to share their dreams.

Encourage them to make the plan to honor your father's life by designing worthy lives of their own.

Maxy