Kids Say The Darndest Things 'Brethern and Sistern'

The excitement attendant on the arrival of a new member of the family that is a prime topic that elicits some very astonishing answers .
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*** One youngster said ... "My mother's sick and tired of waiting for the baby to get here .
*** When is it actually expected ?
Any time now . Mother been waiting for almost a month."
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***Then there was the rather confused young man who was only four-years-old.
himself .
"We have a new baby about a week old ."
*** "Is it a boy or girl?"
"So far , I think it is a boy ."
*** "SO far ," the man echoed , "what does it look like ?"
"A girl."
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*** The teacher said I heard something exciting is about to happen at your House ."
"Oh, you mean about the boxer dog ?"
*** "No . I understand it's about your mother ."
"Oh , that's nothing . She's just going to have another baby."
*** That sounds exciting to me . Do you want a sister ?"
"It had better be a sister ."
*** What do you mean better be ?" The teacher was surprised at the belligerent tone .
"My daddy says if it's a boy he's going to drown himself ."
*** "Do you believe him , now really?"
"No . He says this every time and then laughs . He says he might be drowning the wrong man .
*** Another little "Pitcher" had ears big enough to catch this bit of by-play :
"We have five kids in the family . But there's never going to be another one ."
*** "How can you be so sure ."
"Because Daddy says every sixth baby in the world is Chinese , and we don't want one ."
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*** Mother's little helpers learn early in the game some of the hazards inv olved in bringing up a family .
"WE have a five month old baby in our family."
*** The teacher said I hope you help your mother ."
"Oh , I wash the baby , change her pants , rock her to sleep , vacuum , make the beds , wash her clothes and feed the Pablum."
*** "Then what do your mother do ?"
"She plays gin rummy ."
*** "What is the worst job of the lot ?"
"Feeding pablum."
*** "Why ?"
"She sneezes ." My job is to put on the diapers . There are only three main troubles . The old oles stink . The new ones fall off . And the damn baby wiggles."
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*** The teacher said someone been talking about having a baby at your house .
"It's Me !"
*** "You're going to have a baby ? How old are you ?
"Almost six ."
*** "When are you going to have this baby ?"
"Almost six ."
*** "Why wait so long ?" teases the teacher .
"Gee , I've got to find a husband first ."
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*** Any brothers or sisters ?
A six year-old-sister .
*** *** What does she do most of the time ?
Pick fleas off the cat .
*** What kind of cat?
Well , we had it in the male cage but it turned out to be a female .
*** How did you find out ?
He had three babies and he's going to have some more .
*** Who told you ?
Nobody , but I feel then licking and scratching inside her tummy .
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***The teacher said there is something exciting going to happen at your house pretty soon .
"I'm expecting a baby ."
*** Well , isn't there someone else envolved besides you ?"
"My mother is ."
*** Well , that's good . I'm glad you are giving her a little bow !"
"And the angels are going to bring it."
*** "And the angels are going to bring the baby ... well , how soon are you expecting it ?"
"Two weeks ."
*** "In two weeks ! Gee , that's exciting . Do you have any brothers and sisters ?
"Yeah , one boy and his name's David ."
*** How old is he ?
"Two months."
*** "What !'
"Well , my daddy said the angels speeded up their delivery this year ... they are on a new schedule .