*** What's the funniest thing that ever happen to you ?
I came back from the bathroom one day at school . Suddenly , I notice that my zipper was undone and I said to myself , "I'm insulting my own inheritance ."
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*** Why are you wearing a bowtie today ?
It's the only way I can think of to show people I'm really a man .
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*** What's the hardest table manners for you to remember ?
To remember to swallow after I take a drink of milk or water before I start talking .
*** Do you have any difficulty remembering to use a napkin ?
We never have them at our table . We lick .
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*** What are you learning at school that you can tell us about ?
They teach you not to fight with your friends .
*** How do they do that ?
They read from the Bible , where Jesus says , "Thou shalt not kill."
*** I'm glad to hear they have stopped the fighting in the playgrounds .But tell me , have you been punished lately ?
Yes.
*** What for ?
Hitting a kid in the face with a cupcake .
*** Why did you do that ?
It's not in the Bible .
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*** You look like Toothless Joe to me . How many of those teeth are you missing ?
Five so far , but two more are ready .
*** That must be terrible .
Oh , no . It's good . I don't have to eat anything I don't like . And when they all fall out , I'll just eat ice cream the rest of my life . (He grinned happily ) I like ice cream .
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*** How old are you ?
Five years old.
*** I can't hear you . Are you losing your voice ?
Yes . I went to bed without my pajama bottoms and woke up without my voice .
*** What are you doing for it ?
I take a little lemon and honey and bourbon .
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How do you know when you're in love ?
I never knew what it was like until I was eight .
*** How old are you now ?
Twelve.
*** Tell us what happened.
My sister fixed up a blind date , we went together for two years . Then she quit me when I was ten , and my heart failed .
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*********Lets talk about table manners with a five -year-old *******
1) Don't throw food under the table if there's not a dog under there , because it'll rot.
2) You should always turn your head when you sneeze at the table , but you'd better grab your plate and take it with you , because then people can't sneak vegetables on your plate that you don't want while your head's tirned.
3) Don't talk with your mouth full 'cause you might choke to death .
4) Never throw pies in the company's face .
5) Don't use your dress for a napkin when your mother's looking .
6) Ask for extra helpings instead of scraping the bottom of the plate til all the picture's worn off .
7) Don't put your food in other people's drinks .
Great PIC. My favorite is the CUPCAKE comment. But they are all funny. Luv it.
ReplyDeletePIC
Looka -a-here .
ReplyDeleteHuman mama , so happy you like them , I aim to please and the name is Dr. Maxy ...HA !
Dear Dr Maxy, shut up and eat your kibble. And don't put any more bones on my bed or I will kick your nasty little arse.
ReplyDeleteHuman Mama.
Tell me , tell me please ... where else am I suppose to put them after I eat the meat off.
ReplyDeleteHow else do you know I want more ? I love you ... now go get me some water ....Hahaha