Kids Say The Darndest Things

********Kids take on their fathers jobs ********
*****What does your daddy do ?
Wash rags .
******** Is that a good business ?
Well we know who has the dirtiest rags in town . But I'm not suppose to tell .

My daddy spreads joy .
******* To whom ?
To anybody who can pay for it .
*******I don't understand what hind of job he has .
He's a bartender .
******* I'll bet somebody put you up to this .
My mother . She's always joking and drinking beer .

My father is a school teacher .
******* That's a fine profession . Does he like it ?
He only has one thing to complain about .
******** What's that ?
The kids .

My dad's a professor of English at a college .
******* What does he think of the students ?
Well , he rells me the best student in his class ia a beautiful blonde girl with blue eyes and a tight sweater .

My father's the bravest man in the world .
******** How do you know ?
He cut his finger on a glass one time and didn't even cry .
******** What was he doing ?
He was down in the basement bottling beer .

My father is a physigist . It's something with electrons .
******** How do they work ? Do you Know ?
Well , it's like two coke bottles with stuff inside them so that when it comes out and goes across between them , all of a sudden there's nothing .
******** Oh. That must be interesting work . And how about your mother?
She's the Dean of Women at the college .
******* Is that a difficult job ? She goes to faculty luncheons .
******** With all this brain power in your family tree , what profession will you follow ?
A Plumber.

My father is a dentist .
******* Then I suppose you'll be a dentist , too?
Naw . It's too gooey a job . The people yell too much . I'm going to be a doctor .
******** What if I come to you with a broken arm , what would you do ?
Put it in a cast .
******** What if I had a stomach ache ?
I'd give you a pill .
******** And what if I had a hole in my head ?
I'd put a cork in it .

My dad's a lawyer .
******** Does he put people in jail ?
No, he's on the innocent side .
******** I suppose you want to be a lawyer .
No , a cop , so I can put my daddy in jail .
******** Why would you do a thing like that ?
He spanked me last night .