Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

Do you think it's wrong to meddle in a friend's potential divorce ? Last week I recieved a phone call from my friend , saying he is no longer happy in his relationshil and wants to divorce his wife . After he finished discussing his problems , my friend asked me to walk him through the process of divorce . I told my friend that I was uncomfortable and would not help him with the process to break up the marriage . Do you think I did the right thing in saying no ?

Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned Friend ,

It's one thing to actually help someone get divorced and another to talk about your own experience . Since you went down this path already , why don't you just tell your story ? You can explain how the divorce came to be ... including the messy details , emotional drama and any other discomforts or regrets you may have with your ex now and whether it works for you .

You can also tell your friend that you choose to remain neutral about your choice . Explain that you know how uncomfortable and challenging divorce can be and that you don't want to be in the middle of his marriage or divorce , should that happen . Tell him that you care about him and support him , but that you intend to stay out of the details of his business .

The one thing you can do before stepping down away from the divoce story is to give him your divorce lawyers contact information . If you thought the lawyer was good .

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

I am so annoyed by social media , I find that people now seem to be able to reach into my computer and talk to me , no matter what I;m doing . While sitting at work on my laptop , I get invitations to talk via Skype , popups and Facebook and invitations from other sites I don't even know . I don't want to be rude to people , but enough already . I don't want to be connected at ever moment . I value these tools as well , so I don't want to throw them away . But honestly , this over the top . How can I manage what feels like an invasion in my life ?

Besieged

Dear Besieged ,

I know what you mean . I apprecite social media , but , yes , it can be a double edge sword .

It's not rude to ignore these interruptions if you are busy . You can even post messages telling people not to contact you doing work hours . You can block invites from people who don't get the message .

Look into each of your social media entities to see what kinds of controls you can put on interaction . It may take a bit longer to navigate after you add the controls , but it surely can be worth your peace of mind .

Maxy

Dear Maxy,

Last week , my sister surprised me by showing up unannounced with her two dogs .She said she planned to stay for a week .

I do not have dogs , and that is my choice . My sister dogs are kept in a truck while she travels , and I feel sorry for them . But I don't want them in my house .

Please tell people not to bring their beloved animals to other people homes . People who prefer not to have dogs , they do not find them as cute as they do . I don't care how well mannered they are , they still shed , need attention and occasionally dig a hole in the yard .

Annoyed in Yuma

Dear Annoyed in Yuma ,

No one , relatives included , should drop by unannounced and expect to be put up for days on end . And bring there animals with them is terribly inconsiderate unless they have been specifically invited . We know how much people love their dogs and cats ( and birds and pet snakes) , but asking others to be responsible for housing them is inapportriate and makes the entire unwelcome . Please people , be the type of guest who is enthusiastically invited back .

Maxy