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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Things You will Never Hear A Woman Or Man Say

Woman : What do you mean today's our anniversary ?
Man       : We never talk anymore...here honey you hold the remote .

Woman : Can we not talk  to each other tonight ? I'd rather watch TV .
Man       : While I'm up can I bring you anything

Women : Aww , don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there .
Man       : Honey since we don't have anything else planned , will you  come to the  paint store with me .

Women : For our honeymoon we're going fishing in Alaska !
Men       : Aww, forget  Sunday night football , lets watch Desperate Housewives .

Women : I don't care if it is on sale ,300 dollars is too much for a designer dress .
Men       : Why don't you go to the mall with me and help me picked out a pair of shoes .

Women : Ohh, this diamond ring is way to big !!
Men       : Hey , let me hold your purse while you try that on .

Women : Is that phone for me ? Tell them I'm not here .
Men       :You know I would like to see her again , but her  tits are just too big .

59 comments:

  1. Hey PIC where are you??? Yoo Hoo!!
    There is a echo in here.

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  2. I was just writing a letter to Dad. He sure had an interesting account of the showdown after the parade.

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  3. I was just watching American Idol tonight and decided I could still be attracted to Stephen Tyler. He's old and dissipated looking and has small beady eyes but he's got something. And I like it.

    Would I have sex with him.....No

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  4. Hi Cutie ... How is Nana ?? Got Brian all tucked away ??
    Thankyou ,got my pictures, My twins has really grown .
    Nana is a beautiful woman .. and Brian is still a hunk .
    Jenny was thrilled , she called her dad and told him to come home right now , she had a job for him .
    Both twins are so handsome.

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  5. So Dad said his sister likes younger men. I say hooray for her. I admire her spunk.

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  6. They say Tyler has a big dangle and he do have that c ertain sex appeal about him.

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  7. Aunt Mae don't want a man ...she thinks he just want her vokda .

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  8. You didn't say Maxy was handsome... I told Dad that Nana still has mostly dark hair at 86. I don't know if he believed me.

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  9. Jakey went to MacMaster Hospital today to have his hemoglobin checked and it is up a bit. That explains why he has had so much energy lately.It would still be dangerously low for you and me but for him it's up and it makes him feel better.

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  10. NAN has her version she had to get my babies away ...the guys was up close and personal, their account to Dad is more accountable . I heard him tell sis he had to write you the latest .

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  11. What did Brian tell you, when he reach 12/13 he will began to out grow it.

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  12. Oh goody, there's more to the story. Geez, it would make a good TV series, like Dallas or Knot's Landing.

    Big dangle??? Maybe I'll reconsider.

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  13. Dad said he is courting the wron g lady , he says Nana is a knockout and don't a day over 70/75

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  14. Henry's son sounds like a bigger jerk than his father.

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  15. [giggles] Dad says Nana don 't look a day over 70/75 .

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  16. Nana looks good for her age.She's still sharp as a razor too.

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  17. The way I hear it Gil told Dad when he was first diagonsed with Cancer to let it go , he didn't need the hassle or the stress .

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  18. Dad said he/Gil has mapped everything out and when we get back everything will be in place.
    I asked Dad when he was going to tell you and he said tomorrow , they had to get it squared away,

    Anita will leave Monday to get the ball rolling.

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  19. So far the stress is still hanging around.

    Dad might want to rethink courting Nana. She would chew him up and spit him out and he is a pretty tough old codger. But she was in the army.

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  20. Henry Jr is an ass-hole , a sneaky man lke his daddy, james said Leon ran up to help Junior but he caught him and knocked the shit out of him .Chris says he couldn't catch him one , so he just chased the Betts/Shirley and Dina and boy could they run.

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  21. I think you will all sigh with relief when you can lay the whole business thing to rest. Dad loves being the homeless bum I call him. He just wants a single life.

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  22. Henry Jr is an ass-hole , a sneaky man lke his daddy, james said Leon ran up to help Junior but he caught him and knocked the shit out of him .Chris says he couldn't catch him one , so he just chased the Betts/Shirley and Dina and boy could they run.

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  23. All we get is a single life each. although there are some who think we have many. I never asked you if you believe that.

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  24. Tell me my dear PIC what am I going to do for fun ??
    I liked it better when I was the one raising hell , at least I wasn't hurtin g anyone.

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  25. They all sound like cowards at heart. Most bullies are. Gil has been endlessly patient with them. No wonder he loses it now and then.

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  26. What was Maxy telling you that Brian was asleep ???

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  27. But if he hurt one of them and had to go to jail, they would actually win that one. And they could use it against him.

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  28. Maxy was saying, "Can you do something about this guy's breath?" "And, by the way, he needs his meds."

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  29. I think everyone has a single life and should live it to it fullest , I don 't know what happens when we die but it has to be better than here .

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  30. I think you will always be able to find fun things to do. Anyhow that's your job for about the next fifteen years. It's when the kids leave that you think you'll never have fun again.

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  31. With Dad around to keep you on your toes, life will never be dull. He and his little sidekick will always be trouble.

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  32. Knowing Dad they would not live to testify againt his golden-haired boy ,Dad may be old , but he still has a few tricks up his sleeve.
    hey all know how Dad is .

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  33. I wish I could die knowing I did something to help save the world. I feel I'm leaving such a mess for my kids to clean up.

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  34. Aunt Mae said Dad has told them from way back to never screw with his son.

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  35. Well when you/I die ..our kids will know we tried and that's a good thing.

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  36. I believe you're right about that.I think he's still connected to people who do the odd favor like that.

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  37. I am thankful for knowing you , I have been able to teach my babies and others so much ...I will be glad to get bac k into the swing of things with my bears.

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  38. You heard the old saying 'Armed and Dangerous.' well that's your homeless bum .

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  39. Well,pal, we do our damndest. It's all we can do.

    So when are you leaving for Reno? I don't think you are really going. It's the trip that never happens.

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  40. Geek told dad he think he has found Heidi,give him a few more days , because he is covering his tracks...dad brought him a lappy so he could pick up signals and not be traced back to anyone...sneaky huh??

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  41. It's a sure thing now...Antia is leaving Monday and we are leaving late Friday .
    We are leaving Dad here .

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  42. Friday evening....March 25

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  43. Wow! That will be fun to find out about Heidi won't it?

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  44. It a good thing that no one will be able to trace it back to you

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  45. St. Paddie's day is tomorrow.

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  46. I'm sure you will be glad to be finally going.

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  47. Don't remind me. I don't get good vibes from St paddy's day

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  48. He can find people all he needs is a name and the last city/town they lived.

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  49. The twins ate well while they were here. They like my kind of cooking. We needed this time together. They rediscovered they loved me and were very affectionate

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  50. I don't get good vibes from Paddie day , I will be sure to put something green on my babies , if they get pinched , I may have to go to the school.

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  51. We also had fun. They didn't want to leave.It was very gratifying. I don't get many sleepovers like I did with Jane's boys.

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  52. They never stopped lov ing you ...they was just cnfused.

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  53. To many grown-ups talking

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  54. I know you are right honey. You are always intuitive about these things.

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  55. I just left you a note on IM...take a look.

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  56. Tatto is a funny little monkey.

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  57. One thing for sure ..we won't be caught with our britches down.

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