Ask Maxy

Dear  Maxy ,

A close friend of mine invited me to her baby shower in a different state  . Honestly , I'm financially strapped ...nearly 80 percent of my income is used  to cover my mortgage  . This person helps me tremendously , and I won't feel like a good friend if I  just look at the registry and ship something her way . What can I do to show her that I really care on a tight budget ? How can I give her the impression that I genuinely cannot make a shower due date  due to  circumstances ?

Shawnice , Atlanta

Dear Shawnice ,

It's not about impressions . If this woman is honestly a close friend of yours , it's time to be forth-right . Tell her how much you care about her  and how happy you are about her pregnancy . Express your interest in being as supportive as possible. And tell her that as much as you would like to be with her  at her shower , you will n ot be able to attend . Let her know why ...that you can't  afford the trip right now...you should add  that you hope to save up and visit once the baby is born , that way you can be of help when she really need it , but for now , you simply can't afford  to travel right now . You can and should send a gift .

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

I'm pretty sure that my sister is an alcoholic . She drinks at least a bottle of wine at night , sometime more . Whenever I have drummed up the courage to ask her about it , she shuts me down immediately . It's awkward talking to her , but I'm concerned . Help !

Della , Seattle

Dear Della ,

I'm sorry to tell you that until your sister decides whether she is an alcoholic and/or  she needs help ; there is little you can do that will be effective . Some familes stage interventions  when they see that their loved ones are in peril . You could rally the troops to do that , but there's no guarantee it will work . You can attempt to spend more time with your sister  and engage her in activities that don't include alcohol . When she's sober , you can address your concerns .

Don't give up . Let her know you love her  and are worried about her life . Keep stating your feelings, and keep showing your love . She may come arround.

Maxy

Come on gals , ask  me , I need the work , I have pups to feed  .