Thursday, March 31, 2011

Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,

I recently moved back home and started a new job . I'm fairly young ... 24-years-old ...and I want to get into the prefessional-networking scence here in Houston.

I have a best friend who lives here , but she's my "kick it" girlfriend . There is a big networking event coming up and I don't want to invite her because she won't fit in .

Don't get me wrong : I love her to death . But she's a little loud , speaks her mind , and I'm afraid of what people may think . There's going to be alcohol there as well . One word :YIKES !

I know she's going to ask me what I'm doing that weekend . I don't want to lie. What should I do ?

Tammy...Houston , Texas

Dear Tammy ,

There's no rule that says you and your friend must forever be connected at the hip . If you believe this is a professional opportunity for you , treat it as such . Go by yourself ready to make professional connections or invite someone with similar career goals to join you .

If your friend asks what you did this weekend , tell her that you went to a professional event . If she gets upset , tell her you have come home and are happy to hang out with her but you must also build your career .

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

I have a buxom friend, I often notice that whan she eats, she spills food on her blouse . I bought her some of those stain wipes so she could get the stains out right away . She didn't realize why I had given them to her, so I told her. She shrugged it off as if it were no big deal . It is a big deal . She's a professional , but she looks sloppy . I'm sure that the reason she hasn't got a promotion .

...at least one reason ... is that she doesn't present herself in a professional manner on the job .

Margarita... San Diego , Ca.

Dear Margarita ,

While it's normally not the preferred way of eating, your friend may need to put her napkin at her neck. She may need to figure out a way to eat without spilling food on her clothes . Another way that can work is sitting up straight, putting small amounts of food on your fork and placing the food gently in your mouth.

Most important , she has to want to be neat. When that happens, she will figure out what to do. You can remind her, but you can't do it for her .

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

My 14-year-old daughter recently came home and asked if she could wear make-up . Her friends in school have been wearing make-up since last year, and I didn't allow it then . To my daughter's credit , she has not worn make-up behind my back . She's a goog girl who wants to be part of her peer group without doing the wrong thing in the eyes of her family .My husband and I are doing our best to teach her values that will guide her throughout her life, And we are against a little make-up. t her age , we think she can wear lip gloss and maybe sheer eye shadow . I am happy to teach her, but part of me is worried that I'm allowing to much too soon . What do you think ?

Amelia ... Jackson , Miss.

Dear Amelia ,

I think it's fine to introduce your daughter to light make-up now . Most teenagers are wearing it, so it's good for her to learn. Use this opportunity as a teaching moment to talk to her more about presentation, beauty and even sexuality. She is at the age when these topics are at the top of her mind (yours too). Help her to process her thoughts and feelings .

Maxy

Kids Say The Darndest Things

A teacher was doing a study testing the senses of first graders , using a bowl of lifesavers , The children began to say :

"Red ..........................Cherry"

"Yellow .....................Lemon"

"Green.......................Lime"

"Orange....................Orange "

Finally the teacher gave them all honey lifesavers . After eating them none ot the children could identify the taste . "Well," she said , "I'll give you all a clue , it's what your mother sometimes calls your father ." One little girl looked up in horror , spit her lifesaver out and yelled : "Oh My God !!!! They're assholes .

A little girl was asking her teacher about whales . The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a large mammal its throat was very small . The girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale . Irritated , the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human ; it was physically impossible . The little girl said , "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah ." The teacher asked , "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied , "Then you ask him ."

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing . She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work . As she got to one little girl who was working diligently , she asked what the drawing was . The girl replied , I'm drawing God ." The teacher paused and said , "But no one knows what God looks like ." Without missing a beat , or looking up from her drawing , the girl replied , "They will in a minute."

the children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch . At the head of the table was a pile of apples . The nun made a note , and posted on the apple tray : "Take only ONE . God is watching ." moving further along the lunch line , at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies . A chhild had written a note , "Take all you want , God is watching the apples."

On class photo day , after the children had all been photographed , the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture . "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up ans say , 'There's Jennifer , she's a lawyer ,'or 'that's Michael , he's a doctor ." A small voice from the back of the room rang out , "And there 's the teacher , he's dead ."

One Sunday morning , the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a plaque . It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on each side of it . The six-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time , so the pastor walked up , stood beside the little boy , and said quietly . 'Good morning Alex .' "Good morning pastor,' he replied , still focused on the plaque .'Pastor what is this ?' The pastor said , 'Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service .' Soberly , they stood together , staring at the large plaque . Finally , little Alex's v oice , barely audible and trembling with fear asked , 'Which service , the 8:30 or the 9:45 ?'

Huh????

The 7 Reasons Why Women Love Bad Boys

By Chris Williamson

Have you ever wondered why THAT guy always seems to get the girls? He's brash, cocky and he marches to the beat of his own drum. He's on (or over) the edge, bordering on rude and doesn't seem to give a damn about anyone but himself - what exactly do women see in a guy like that?

You consider yourself outgoing, but conservative; interesting but a little shy; you can keep a conversation going, but with the right people... sounds good doesn't it? Why do the bad boys always seem to get the ladies? Here are 7 reasons why:
1. Rebels are confident
That's right. They wouldn't be able to pull off half of the antics they do if they weren't brimming with confidence. Bad boys aren't just confident around their friends, either - their cavalier attitude is in everything they do, from eating their cereal in the morning, to asking the bartender for a cool glass of draft... to talking to the ladies on the balcony at a friend's party. No matter where you look, women find confidence a major turn on.
2. Rebels are indifferent
Bad boys just simply don't give a damn. They can take it or leave it. That's one reason why they fare well with women. If a woman says no, who cares? They move on to the next one, and they do it with the same verve and maverick attitude as they did the last one. Here is a great quote, "Mr. Right doesn't necessarily care if he is Mr. Right." That's indifference in a nutshell.
3. Rebels are exciting and adventurous
Ask yourself, "when was the last time I took a walk on the wild side?" If you are asking yourself that question, then you obviously aren't a rebel. The 'bad boys' are always testing the boundaries and pushing the envelope when it comes to their life - and women can't get enough of it. They find it intriguing. And when you put exciting and adventurous beside the other rebellious traits, it sends women into a tizzy.
4. Rebels are challenging and mysterious
Women don't dig men that are pushovers. They also don't like men that they can see coming a mile away. Contrary to the belief women like men they can read and men that provide them with a sense of security, women actually LOVE to guess! It is challenging for them, and it is one of the elements of the bad boy that keeps them coming back for more!
5. Rebels are very masculine
This often goes hand-in-hand with being confident, indifferent, exciting, adventurous... etc. Bad boys are often rugged and in-control. That doesn't mean controlling; they just know how to get what they want. They speak clearly and confidently, they look you in the eye, they are passionate about what they believe in... but most importantly, they still know how to treat a lady.
6. Rebels give women a feeling of power
The illusion of control is often more powerful than control itself. Power within a relationship, power outside of a relationship - it doesn't matter - being with a bad boy, encompassing all of the above traits, gives women an air of strength and togetherness. Essentially the confident, cocky bad boy image rubs off a little bit on her - and she laps it up!
7. Rebels know how to talk to women because they are all of the above. Confidence followed up with indifference, sprinkled with a little bit of mystery, intrigue and excitement is what attracts most women to start. That gets you the 'in' to talk with them - they're interested, now you have to show them what you've got. Figuring those things out is the trick. Bad boys use their conversational skills to keep a woman interested and wanting more - and you can too

Keep in mind girls that this was written by a man and is not necessarily your view. But ponder it for a moment and see if there isn't some truth in the article.
And when it comes to choosing a partner for a comitted relationship, you may be attracted to them but would you want to spend your life with one?

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

All About Attitude

Having a hard day sister? Nothing going right? Kids cranky? Can't pay your bills? Head aching? Well honey, it could be worse.

This could have landed on your SUV, but it didn't happen, so rejoice.

This could have sucked your house off it's foundation and thrown it down in Pasadena. But it didn't happen so be at peace.

Sit yourself down and put your feet up. Have a leisurely cup of coffee and adopt this attitude for the rest of the day.

Death Rates 'Higher' Among Young Adults Than Children

Young men aged 15-24 are now two to three times more likely to die prematurely than young boys aged one to four, the researchers claim."Modern life is much more toxic for teenagers and young people," says Dr Russell Viner of University College London, who led the study. "We've had rises in road traffic accidents, rises in violence, rises in suicide which we don't see in young children. "The teenage years were the healthiest time of our life. It's no longer true."

But Dr Viner says trends first seen in the West are now being seen in developing countries, as the move to cities brings benefits and risks to the urban young. "It seems that economic development, the move to cities, increasing urbanization and social dislocation are actually quite toxic for our young people in terms of mortality," he says.

Co-author Dr Michael Resnick, of the University of Minnesota, told the BBC: "What is clear is that the greatest threats to young peoples' health, outside of living in extreme poverty and in 'hot zones' of infectious disease and war, stem from the behaviors in which young people engage, and the contexts in which they find themselves."
He said governments had to focus "on violent neighbourhoods, extreme impoverishment and lack of access to fundamental resources and services, and the hopelessness that comes from utter lack of prospects and opportunity".

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

What Do Women Really Want?

(Sshhhhhh! Come closer... this is a Cosmic Secret)

by Dana Peach

I am now going to reveal to you what women want, have always wanted and will always be looking for in any man with whom they become intimate. It is a "Trump" attribute, which means that its presence is a more powerful influence than others and can tip the scales of emotional acceptance in your favor immediately.
Be advised that I will be dealing with a monumental but accurate generalization which is not meant to apply to every female who ever lived. I bow to the variability within and between the sexes. Nonetheless, you will see that my assertion has the undeniable thud of the obvious.
If you feel the cold chill of disbelief or the fever of indignation rising in you at these words, please consult with Woody Allen, a cunning expert at attracting beautiful talented women on the sheer force of this "Trump" attribute which draws women like... migrating butterflies.

What women want from men is confidence. The Trump is Personal Confidence.

Confidence... not arrogance, not dominance, not one-upsmanship, not useless bravado, not macho heroics. Women just love truly confident men.
Now as you know, confidence is an attitude thing. In particular, male confidence frequently manifests as an "I-can-handle-it attitude". This does not mean that feelings are denied. It doesn’t imply an absence of doubt, fear, or vulnerability. A delusion of total self sufficiency is not required.
Confidence simply says: "I can deal with it... somehow... well at least I’ll do my best". The attitude of confidence doesn’t even have to be constant, just generally present in the face of most life challenges.
For hundreds of thousands of years of human development, a confident attitude was much easier for men to gain and display than it is now because it was required for survival. There was hardly any choice. Until recently, the demands of physical survival were the primary issue in pair-bonding and confidence-building roles for both sexes directly related to survival were far more apparent. I am not talking about survival in extraordinary circumstances, either. It could be as basic as steadfastness in getting the crops in out of the rain.
In the smaller communities in which we used to live, everyone could see the skilled hunter, the dedicated farmer and stockman, the courageous protector, the skilled artisan, the accomplished leader, the sage teacher, the men who didn’t give up in the face of threatening set-backs.
Why hell! There have been times and cultures where a women wouldn’t even consider a man who couldn’t claim to be a good carpenter or a competent dirt mover. These roles, decreed by harsher realities of life than most of us now experience, were obvious advertisements for male virtue, i.e., "I can handle it".
Unfortunately, the signs indicative of genuine masculine confidence are confusing today and gender roles are a chaotic mess. The external demonstrations of natural confidence have become confused with the poor substitute of consumer status symbols. But... women instinctually look for clues to a man’s level of confidence... and test it to the limit... but not in the old-fashioned way.
Now for the good news! Since confidence is primarily an attitude toward meeting life challenges of all kinds - and there’s no shortage of challenges in the world - the essential attitude can still be cultivated and demonstrated. But it cannot be faked with money, looks, or possessions.
So gentlemen, you must gain confidence and empathy (unavoidably stuck together) in approaching and relating to women on many levels, in the face of rejections real or imagined. And since this is the riskiest venture of all, the pay-off is, appropriately, the biggest: the devotion of a loving woman who can make your life extremely pleasant on a daily basis.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Could Designer Babies Close America’s Education Gap?

Advances in biotechnology have made the genetic enhancement of unborn children more and more feasible, raising exciting prospects along with thorny moral dilemmas. Does such enhancement represent a profound challenge to our common humanity, on par with the eugenics movement of the early 20th century? Or does it constitute important progress in a society that constantly seeks the best for its children?

Last year, bioethicist Jacob Appel gave a surprisingly sanguine appraisal of “designer babies.” He points out that the ability to pre-screen for certain conditions may actually tilt our moral obligation toward altering or discarding embryos. (If you knew that an embryo would be born with cystic fibrosis, could you bring it into the world in good conscience?) But what about “adding extras”—such as math or musical talent—if and when that becomes possible? Appel is cheerfully unconcerned, arguing that “there isn't that much difference between getting your child an SAT tutor and getting them into a good college, and making them a little bit more intelligent before they're born.

In some ways you can save money in SAT tutoring if you put the effort in early on.” As with genetic screening, Appel draws a close moral equivalence between the way we treat children before and after birth. The benefits we’d want to provide them in the world we should be able to provide in the womb; the same goes for the harms from which we’d want to shield them.
By contrast, Yale computer scientist David Gelernter views Appel’s future as a dystopic one. A noted thinker on the ethics of technology, Gelernter warns that rampant genetic engineering, if undertaken, will dehumanize us all. “By 2050…[if] you’re going to have a child, of course we’ll choose its sex and its appearance and stuff like that, but we can bump up his IQ by 10 points, or by really giving the very latest technology, you get 15 points more of IQ. So, your first kid is 15 points smarter than they would have been otherwise, but when you get around to having your second kid, the technology is better…So, [the] first kid is obsolete, essentially.”
As a threat to fundamental human dignity, Gelernter compares this scenario to the horrors—and attendant moral challenges—of World War II. Yet in a world where educational competition has never been more cutthroat, it’s easy to see how pre-birth intelligence-boosting could become a tempting option for some. Why wouldn’t the same parents who jockey to get their kids into the fanciest kindergartens seek out a genetic edge? What’s to stop the U.S. or China from seeking that same edge on a national scale? As the science of genetics races ahead, it remains to be seen where public opinion and policy settle on these issues—or whether they can settle at all on a slope some think is too dangerous even to contemplate.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

10 Places Every Kid Should See........Part 2

Not only are these attractions fun and (shhhh) educational , they're especially magical through the eyes of a child.

Yellow stone Park (Wyo. ,Mont. and Idaho)

Snag a Young Scientist Toolkit stocked with magnifying glasses , rock samples and stopwatches to time geyser eruptions at the Old Faithful Visitor Center and hit the great outdoors for some investigating . The coolest toy : an infrared-thermometer gun that takes reading of thermal pools when pointed at the water . And there's lots of H2O . The 3,472-square-mile park is home to geothermal features (geysers , hot springs , mud spots) than any other place on earth . The Young Scientist activity booklet and toolkit cost $5 (toolkit must be return after use).

Colonial Williamburg (Virginia)

Everyone in this living -history site likes to play dress-up , and visitors are no exception . At the Great Hopes Plantation -- a re-creation of the town's original 1700s farm ... a slash of old-timey accessories await , from income (three-pointed) hats for boys and shifts and mop caps (bonnets) for girls . The costumes come in handy in the field , where kids can perform 18th century household chores , such as picking bugs off pototo crops , fetching water from the well , or hoeing the soil , that will likely to make clearing the dinner dishes seem like a breeze by comparison . Great Hopes Planation can be accessed through regular admission tickets .

Craters of the Moon National Monument & Preserve (Idaho)

The National Park service calls this Idaho perserve "the only officially weird park " in the countr . And for good reason: The jagged black landscape ... form by a volcanic eruptions up to 15.000 years ago ...boasts a 618-square-mile lava field, the biggest in the U.S. (The rocky surface is so moonlike that Apollo 14 astronauts trained at the site in 1969) . The park's most awe-inspiring feature is its lava tubes , underground passageways created by hardened molten rock. Grab a flashlight and head to Indian Tunnel , which , at 30 feet wide , allows for comfortable exploring. Craving an even more intense experience. Exit the cave at the far end, a feat that requires mounting a big rock pile and squeezing through a small opening .

Independence Hall ( Pennsylvania)

Acquaint yourself with the spirits of America's founding fathers on Philadelphia's Ghost Tour, a 90-minute , candle-lit stroll that winds past landmarks like Independence hall where the Constitution was adopted, The Power House, which hosted george and Martha Washington's 20th wedding anniversary celebration: the 238-year-old City Tave, John Adam's former watering hole. A cape-wearing, lantern-carrying guide points out "haunted" graveyards (St. Peter's Cemetery) and reports sighting of Benjamin Franklin, who's said to roam the city streets. The best part: All the ghost stories are based on documented accounts , which makes them all the more spooky.

Alcatraz Island (California)

Shiv collections and cramped jail cells don't exactly sound kid-friendly , but they offer a glimpse into America's most notorious island prison ... and the National Park Service is all for bringing younger ones for a visit . Hop a ferry from San Francisco's Pier 33 and stroll the damp, gray halls of the maximum-security pen, which housed criminals like Al Capone and George 'Machine Gun'Kelly from 1934 to 1953. (You can even get behind bars in one of the cells, if you dare) . Don't miss the audio tour, which was updated in 2007 when former inmates and guards recored their memories of doing time at 'The Rock.' If you're feeling brave , take the night tour, which lets you roam the prison after dark, Alcatraz Cruises is official carrier for tours to Alcatraz Island.

If you are in the area ...take a look-see.

10 Places Every Kid Should See........Part 1

Not only are these attractions fun and (shhhh) educational , they're especially magical through the eyes of a child .

Grand Canyon (Arizona

During the day stroll the 4-year-old Skyhawk , a U-shaped glass-bottom observation deck that juts 70 feet over the canyon's West Rim and sits 4,000 feet above the Colorado River . Come sunset , hit Grand Canyon Apache Stables , where for $25.50 per person , you can hitch a one hour ride on a horse-driven wagon that ends around a campfire . Tip : BYO marshmellows and hot dogs so you can cook up a nighttime snack . Skywalk Package including mandatory Legacy pass.

The National Mall (Washington , D.C.)

Riding the streets of Washington,D.C. , in a boat on wheels might sound cheesy , but cruising the Potomac River in one is pretty sweet . Set in a WWII-era amphibious vehicle , the 90-minute D.C. duck tour covers both land and sea . The first leg hits the history-packed National Mall ... look for the 19-foot-tall Lincoln Memorial , the Capitol building and the Smithsonian museums ... and then switches to a scenic river trip . Highlight : The boat pauses at Gravely Point , a park located just a few feet from the runway at D.C.'s Reagan National Airport , so you can watch roaring planes take off and land.

Redwood National Park (California)

Ancient , sky high sequoias aren't the only attraction in this lush California locale ... There's cool aquatic life , too. Take a guided tile pool tour , where budding biologists can scramble between the coastal forests rocks while hunting for underwater creatures such as orange and purple ochre sea stars and sprawling green anemones . Free tide pool tours are offered during the summer through Redwood national Park .

Ellis Island (New York)

Between 1892 and 1924 , more than 17 million immigrants passed through Ellis Island , today, their desendants account for 40 percent of Americans. Go on a hunt for your ancestors at the Ellis Island Immigration Museum, where for &5 you can search millions of records to find the exact date your relatives sailed into the port of New York, as well as which ship they were on and whether they traveled with other family members. (Bonus : copies of the documents are yours to keep). And don't miss the construction of the Peopling of America Center, which cost $20 million to build and is slated to open in 2012 . The new space focuses on U.S. immigration from 1955 (when Ellis Island closed ) to the present, and houses interactive multimedia exhibits , like a touch screen that reflects demographic changes in American cities over time.

Niagara Falls (New York)

Sure your grandparents honeymooned there , but the majestic waterfalls straddling the U.S. - Canada border are worth a 21st-century trip . Ever wonder what it's like to be a rubber ducky in a massive bathtub ? Sign up for the Cave of the Winds tour, which begans after you change into a complimentary yellow poncho and sandals (trust us , you'll need them) . After riding an elevator 175 feet down into the Niagara Gorge, you'll stand on the Hurricane Deck, where you'll br drenched by the tropical-storm-like spray from the 181-foot Bridal Veil Falls, where the water falls at a rate of up to 68mph. Cave of the Winds operates May 1 --October 25 .

Reminder : Come back for part 2 ...your kids will love it and so will you ... I guarantee it .

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Aspirin Can Reduce Cancer Deaths

It's a common medication with uncommon benefits. Aspirin is one of the most widely used drugs in the world. And a new study just out shows that one low-dose aspirin a day - about 80 milligrams - can significantly reduce the risk of death from some common forms of cancer. But there are some precautions you ought to know about.

The Kindness of Regular Folks...Heartwarming

Baby dolphin saved after dumped in rice field by tsunami

TOKYO (Reuters) - A baby dolphin has been rescued in Japan after being dumped in a rice field by a giant tsunami that hit the coast on March 11.
The dolphin was spotted in the flooded field, about 2 km (a mile) from the coast, said Ryo Taira, a pet-shop owner who has been rescuing animals abandoned after the 9.0 magnitude quake and tsunami left 23,000 people dead or missing.
"A man passing by said he had found the dolphin in the rice paddy and that we had to do something to save it," the 32-year-old Taira told Reuters.
Taira found the dolphin struggling in the shallow seawater on Tuesday and after failing to net it, waded in to the field, which had yet to be sown with rice, to cradle the 1.2-meter (four foot) animal in his arms.
"It was pretty weak by then, which was probably the only reason we could catch it," he said.
Taira and some friends wrapped the dolphin in wet towels and drove it back to the sea, where they set it free. The dolphin appeared to perk up when it was back in the Pacific, he said.
"I don't know if it will live, but it's certainly a lot better than dying in a rice paddy," Taira told the Asahi Shimbun newspaper.

Macy the Guilty Dog

Friday, March 25, 2011

Curry Spice 'Kills Cancer Cells'

The yellow spice gives curries their bright colour An extract found in the bright yellow curry spice turmeric can kill off cancer cells, scientists have shown. The chemical - curcumin - has long been thought to have healing powers and is already being tested as a treatment for arthritis and even dementia. Now tests by a team at the Cork Cancer Research Centre show it can destroy gullet cancer cells in the lab. Cancer experts said the findings in the British Journal of Cancer could help doctors find new treatments
. Dr Sharon McKenna and her team found that curcumin started to kill cancer cells within 24 hours. 'Natural' remedy The cells also began to digest themselves, after the curcumin triggered lethal cell death signals. Dr McKenna said: "Scientists have known for a long time that natural compounds have the potential to treat faulty cells that have become cancerous and we suspected that curcumin might have therapeutic value." Dr Lesley Walker, director of cancer information at Cancer Research UK, said: "This is interesting research which opens up the possibility that natural chemicals found in turmeric could be developed into new treatments for oesophageal cancer. "Rates of oesophageal cancer have gone up by more than a half since the 70s and this is thought to be linked to rising rates of obesity, alcohol intake and reflux disease so finding ways to prevent this disease is important too."
It's amazing, the rate at which discoveries are made in medicine these days. They are coming thick and fast.
Maybe some day one pill will cure everything or perhaps a little zap from a gizmo like the ones on Star Trek; not so far-fetched aymore.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,

My girlfriend and I have been together for nine months. She wants me to meet her parents , and I feel uneasy . Her family seems wealthy, and I come from a middle-class family raised by a single parent . They have a "Cosby"-like group; everyone is educated, and her parents are still together .

My girlfriend is getting her master's, and I am a firefighter who didn't go to college. I don't want her family to look down on me because of my career path. Furthermore, I don't want to be uncomfortable when I visit them. I want to make a good impression . What advice can you share ? I love this girl .

Edward ... Austin, Texas

Dear Edward ,

Start off by remembering that your girlfriend loves you. That is the most important thing for you to know. Talk to her about her family. Find out what they appreciate. Ask your girlfriend what would be an appropriate gift to bring her mother, in particular. If she likes a certain type of flower, a bouquet of those would be great. If she's in to reading, select a book in her topic area of choice. Find out her favorite color, and buy her a scarf Basically work with your girlfriend to identify a token of appreciation for her mother that would appeal to her.

Don't forget to stay centered. Don't be ashamed to talk about your upbringing. Share some highlights about your life, and don't compare your experience to theirs. You are doing honorable work. Don't forget that.

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

Two of my daughter's friends are joining us in planning a party for her 30th birthday . The invitation they printed states: "Please bring $37 cash per person for the meal. Alcoholic beverages will be an additional cost. Following dinner there will be a party at one of the local bars which will require more money for drinks."

I have always been under the impression that the hosts pay for the party. I told the other two hosts that if I ever received an invitation like that, I would not attend. Am I just old-fashioned ? Is this the way things are done now ?

Confused Mother

Dear Confused Mother ,

The hosts should pay for the party. Other wise, they are setting a price for the others without consulting them, which is rude and inconsiderate. Unfortunately, many young people are unaware of this custom and see no reason to follow it . I recommend you bow out .

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

I hung out with a colleague at a conference and noticed that she had BO. Well, I didn't notice it at first, but as the day wore on and we went from event to event, there was no question about it. I wonder if she wears deodorant. It was offensive by day's end, but honestly, I have no idea what I should do about it . I mean, do you say something to someone about the way they smell? I don't have a clue about how to go about this . Can you help me ?

Mary -- Miami, Fla.

Dear Mary ,

I would say in this case, keep your mouth shut. You could be right she doesn't wear deodorant. Not everyone does. Or she may wear a natural product that wears away over time. Whatever the case, it doesn't sound as if it's unbearable for you to be around her, so keep your thoughts to yourself.

People have different hygiene practices, and she may not be as sensitive to body odor as you are. Leave her be. If it bothers you, just don't position yourself close to her .

Maxy

What it feels Like to Rediscover Sex in Your Fifties

Sexy celebrities over 50

Why should your sex life dry up when you reach middle age? I came of age sexually in the early 1970s. These were the sexual salad days of a generation, in that rose-coloured window between the appearance of the pill and the onslaught of HIV. I started college along with an Indian bedspread, a plug-in teapot and a copy of On the Road, the trappings of my new life included the pill, dispensed like candy at the local clinic. Doctors and nurses treated nuisances such as crabs and genital warts without a trace of moral judgment. With libidos fuelled by recreational drugs, beer or just youthful hormones in overdrive, we suffered few regrets and little guilt. Our limbs were supple, our skin was unmottled, our bellies were flat.

Though my friends and I routinely poured our hearts out to each other on a range of matters, a constant refrain was, "So, how was the sex?". How was the sex? Not so good. I know this now, in middle age, because I and many of my peers are having the best sex of our lives. Really.
In fact, people my age and older seem to fall into two distinct categories: those who crave sex, feel entitled to it and thrive on it, and those who couldn't care less if they never did it again.

Above all, good sex requires confidence. And confidence comes with age. When I was 18, 19, 20, I was too shy to discuss my desires with boyfriends, never mind one-night stands. None of us wanted it to be slam-bam, but slam-bam it mostly was. We pored over the book Our Bodies, Ourselves and concurred that we should contort ourselves in front of a mirror, speculum in hand, but we didn't truly inhabit our bodies. Mostly, we obsessed about being fat, which, ironically, few of us actually were. When it came to sex, I followed my partners' lead. My sexual behaviour reflected my general cluelessness. I couldn't count the times I would force a faux-satisfied murmur while some guy worked furiously on a spot miles away from any serious nerve endings. Now I have carnal GPS turn there, stop here and men are grateful and not at all shy about directing traffic themselves.

Good sex requires a well-honed sense of the ridiculous. This, too, comes from experiencing love, loss, parenthood and random infirmities since the summer of love. Though as youths we considered ourselves ground-breakingly hilarious, we steered clear of laughing at ourselves. Then again, when we were young and lacked a sense of power and self-awareness, unfunny stuff happened and we let it happen. Who hasn't been groped by some icky guy who made you want to puke. No 50-plus woman I know would put up with such nonsense. Among consenting, mature adults these antics are irrelevant.

The world is crowded with unattached, 50-plus men and women who aren't merely looking for sex, but for great sex. I know single women my age who simply won't abide bad sex. If their efforts to improve the situation aren't successful, they move on, telling anyone who asks that the sex was lousy and, as such, unacceptable. So much for the stereotype of the postmenopausal sexual retiree.

Women's magazines are awash with prescriptions for reinvigorating, or reviving, marital sex in the waning years: light candles, wear seductive lingerie, unplug the phone, uncork the K-Y, pop the Viagra. That drug and its ilk may have fewer women tiptoeing around the delicate matter of erectile dysfunction. However, these recipes for romance don't address a big problem: many women over 50 are ashamed of their naked bodies. Yet it isn't a regimen of Pilates or eating like an air fern that makes you feel sexy. Sex makes you feel sexy. Fewer mirrors, more laughter, I say. Of women who are self-conscious about their flab, I ask, have you seen a guy over 50 without a spare tyre, or at least an undisguisable paunch? I know a man who looks like he's 12 months pregnant and he gets all the sex he wants. It's because he adores women, he's full of mischief and he has been around long enough to know that sex with a smart, confident, cellulite-covered woman in her sixties is much more fun than watching a bony Victoria's Secret model mesmerised by her own reflection.

What a shame that marital sex can be so fraught, even burdensome, that many of us allow sex to recede until it withers and dies. These days I sometimes view sex as akin to a spa treatment. It's invigorating, it gives me an all-over glow and it makes me feel attractive. It leaves me feeling peaceful and whole. At 50 and beyond, good sex reminds us how miraculous our flawed bodies can be. And it helps that you're not gnarling the bed sheets with an Olympian poster boy. I suppose we should also be grateful that our near vision is failing to the point where the unsightly is invisible.

There's another reason sex after 50 can and should be the best sex of our lives: our keen awareness of our mortality. Schopenhauer declared sex to be the"greatest affirmation of life". Think of how sexually charged life becomes in a war zone. In advancing age, we are in a war zone of sorts. A voracious, unbridled bout of sex is the best hedge against death, and it's recession-proof. If we can still move, sex can make us feel better. Mysterious aches and pains evaporate. We sleep better. Postcoital food somehow tastes better, and we can eat it with the guiltlessness of an athlete. Not long ago, I read an article about sex in old-people's homes. The news was, not only does it exist, it is fairly common, and not only among committed couples. I find the notion inspiring. Nice to know that if we use it, we don't lose it. And it sure beats doing the hokey cokey in the day room.

How to Get a Blueberry Stain Out of White Pants

Virginie Martocq Wed Mar 23 2011

Let me set the scene for you. It's a breezy evening in the Bahamas. I'm sitting under a pink and white canopy tent, surrounded by palm trees, with my two year old daughter sitting on my lap. We're watching the limbo show and she's happily popping blueberries into her mouth. Hundreds of them. Fast forward to the end of the evening when we all get up and to my horror I discover that a third of those blueberries have ended up on my lap, squished and ground into my, what else, white linen pants. HORROR! I was ready to throw them away. But after all the kids went to bed, I put my energy into trying to save my beloved trousers. I did a little research on the internet, and here is what I found:
1. Attack the stain as soon as possible- the fresher the stain, the more chances you'll have of getting it out.
2. Soak the stain in white vinegar. In my case, soak the entire pair of pants in a bowl of vinegar, for 10 to 15 minutes.
3. Remove, rinse with cold water. If the stain is still there, pour boiling water over the stain, let stand 5 minutes, and rinse again.
4. Repeat as needed until the stain is completely gone. I had to do it three times. On the last time, I tried a little rubbing alcohol instead of the vinegar as I had run out. Worked magic as well.
5. Launder the pants. If there is any stain at all, do not put in the dryer, but repeat the above steps.
Surprise, surprise, my white pants that were either destined for the garbage or to be tye-died some weird bluish black colour are white again! Totally completely white. That's why I love the internet!

Revolution in Paint Color Selection

I have always thought that one of the most useful services that decorators and designers offer is helping with paint colours because they have an ability to see colour in a way that other people don't. Turns out, that skill is not all that special! There is an actual science to picking colours, based on the colour wheel and light/dark colour ratios. And Dulux has developed a nifty tool that will give you paint choices that are guaranteed to "go" with whatever you already have in your home. The subjective part comes from choosing the actual hue you want to work with, but this is truly a no-fail colour picking system. Guess that puts some designers out of work!

Here's how it works: Place the matching device on whatever surface you want to match—fabric, flooring, tile, paint—whatever. It will give you the closest paint colour.
Next, it gives you a choice of eight colours to coordinate with your original pick. From there, you can choose lighter or dark colours that are definitely, without a doubt, going to match. Truly and honestly, this is a colour revolution. And the device really shines when it comes to picking light and muted colours—colours that are hardest to match with the naked eye. No more weird green undertones to the warm cream you meant to choose. No more hating your flooring simply because you chose the wrong wall colour to go with it.

So if you're re-painting, run, don't walk to the nearest ICI, Glidden or Colour Your World to have a store assistant help you make the perfect choice. I am excited about this development because I can never make up my mind about paint color. Wait till I tell my husband what I have in mind for him to do on our vacation.