Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
My wife invited her 56-year-old-sister  to stay at our house  for a couple of days  and we gave her total access to the house . I needed to check my emails  and I went to the reading room where  the family computer  is located  . When I open the door , I was shocked to see what was on the computer . My sister-in-law was eatching  an adult movie . I wanted to yell at her  , but my mouth shut beccause of the shock . After I got my composure  , I told my sister-in-law  that she cannot use our family  computer  without supervision . I do not have the time  to supervise  an adult  while she  surfs the Internet .I like my sister-in-law  and I want her  to continue  to feel comfortable in our home . How can I prevent anyone  from visiting  inapropriate  adult content  on my family's computer ? My wife and I do not appreciate  porn  and do not ever have it in out home .
Computer blue
Dear Computer Blue ,
You can put parental controls  on your computer  to ensure that no one can access adult content  or any other content  that you deem inappropriate for your  home . Go to ehow.com/how_6780583_put-parental-controls-laptop.html  for instructions . if you regularly have houseguests , you may want to tell them to bring their own computer. Or, you can put  a label on the home computer  saying  "Please limit your Internet usage  to X,Y, and Z."
These measures could be extreme though . It could be that your sister-in-law is an anomaly . You may simple need  to deal with her directly  and make it clear  to her that she crossed the line  and you do not appreciate it . Chances  are she is embarrassed  by being caught  watching pornography , so you do not need  to beat her over  the head with he transgression .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
My threee-year-old son is starting pre-school in a few weeks  and he is excited  about going  to school . He can use the bathroom  on his own  , but I am wonfering  if I should pack a few diapers  in his book bag  to prevent  any potential accidents .
Momma's Boy
Dear Momma's Boy
Contact the preschool  and ask what the policy is . They may suggest that you not send diapers  and talk to your son  about being  a big boy  and remembering  to ask to  go to the bathroom . Or they may suggest  that you pack  diapers  and give them to the teacher  without your son seeing them  , so that extras  are on hand  in case  of an accident  but your child  doesn't know that crutch is there . Most important  is for you  to make sure your son is comfortable  as he takes  this big step .
Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I witnessed a huge argument  between my brother and his wife when we last visited. What was weird is that the next day  they acted like nothing had happened . I am single , in part because this kind of stuff runs me crazy . How can you love someone  one minute  and hate her guts the next minute . I don't understand it . I want to ask my brother  but I know that their marital issues are none of my business . Do you understand this ?
Single and Perplexed
Dear Singlr and Perplexed.
Married people  argue  just like friend argue . For those  who have been married long enough , it is likely that they have weathered any number of storms  where they did not agree . What happens afterwards  is what truly counts  after an argument . How people address the issue  that brought on the flare  , how they talk to each other  in the heat of the moment  and how they mend fences  are the key . You argue without being mean which is ideal . It is possible to apologize  and make up . Further  , you can love someone forever  but not like the person from time to time . As you look for a healthy  bond , pay attention  to how you disagree  and come back to a loving place . If you cannot do that , you will not be successful in the long term .
Maxy