Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense ,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as corporators became business men; and criminals received better
Treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of
Coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 2 stepbrothers and 3 stepsisters;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, mourn him. If not, join the majority and don't give a tinker's damn.
Jeannie ,
ReplyDeleteSo well said. Some of the stuff we see going on in the world today has those of us still hanging on to common sense shaking our heads.
The tongue-in-cheek obituary for Common Sense by 'Lori Borgman'' that went from popular to viral, is now available in book form! This pithy little book contains the original essay, great illustrations and new essays on those who knew Common Sense best. Read about his wife, Discretion, their two children, Reason and Responsibility and C.S.’s step-brothers, Half-Wit and Dim-Wit.
There are two ways to order! eBook for your reader or as a traditional book! It can also be found at your local library.
My humble reading opinion
Thanks Gil....useful to know.
ReplyDeleteLori is a syndicated columnist so many Canadian papers run her columns. She often writes tongue-in-cheek. I have read her column but have never read any of her books.