Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
My husband and I have been married for eight years , and we have two beautiful children . Recently , an ex-boyfriend called to let me know that his father had died . I hadn't heard from him in 12 years.
"Matt" and I began speaking regularly and even spent some time together . My husband knew all of this and was OK with it . One night , however , things went further than they should have , and we kissed several times . I don't know whether I should confess this to my husband or not . Other than getting it off my chest , what good would it do ?
The kissing isn't going to happen again . Do I follow the "honesty is always the best policy" philosophy ?
A Confused Wife
 
Dear Confused ,
You have betrayed your husband and should stop all contact with Matt immediately . You are playing with fire , risking your marriage and family for the thrill of feeling young and desired again . It's time to grow up and end this nonsense .
Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I live in an exotic location , even though it's simple where I'm from and where I live . I went to school in the U.S. , and many of my friends from school like to come and visit me . When they come , they expect me to host them for their entire vacation . It's almost like they think my home is their hotel .
Don't get me wrong , I want to see my friends , but I am not a travel agent or a bed-and-breakfast . I can't really afford to host them the way they expect , and I also have to work . What should I say to them ?
Not A Hotel

Dear Not A Hotel,
It's time to speak plainly to your friends . Tell them how much you love them and appreicate them coming to visit , but state plainly that you are not a hotel . Tell them you hope they will continue to visit but that you need them to understand your parameters . Then lay them out .
Establish a length for visits . Describe how you hope the meals will go ... with everyone pitching in so that you don't become the sole cook or provider of meals . Talk about what you have to do while they are in town , especially if you have to work . Remind them that they are coming for vacation , but this is where you live and work . Be clear with them . You may find out that some of them may choose to stay in a hotel and visit with you rather than crashing at your place the whole time , especially if you make it clear that they cannot have free run of your house and refrigerator and time .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I had a misunderstanding with my next-door neighbor , who has been a dear friend for many years . I hosted an event for my colleagues at my home and did not invite her . She throught I was having a party for friends and got her feelings hurt .
When I reached out to her to talk the next day , I learned she was upset . I was really surprised , because as much as we like each other , neither of us invites the other to every event we have .
I don't think she should have been invited to this event , but I feel bad that she's upset . How can I help her to feel better ?
Next-Door-Neighbor

Dear Next-Door-Neighbor ,
Invite your neighbor over for tea and a chat . Tell her that you hosted a gathering of colleagues and tell her a bit about the event . Then tell her you think she's upset because she wasn't invited . Remind her that both of you host events for different groups . Sometimes it's right to be included , sometimes not . Assure her that you love her just as much . The end .
Maxy