Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

After 20 years , I have recently rekindled a love I didn't know was even there .

I recently found and started speaking to an ex-boyfriend over Facebook . We had been talking on and off once in awhile , then recently in an discussion , we realized we both still felt strongly about each other .

I'm happy about that , but the only issue is that he is in the process of going through a really bad divorce . I partially feel like I am either becoming the rebound woman , or the woman who has somehow fueled him not to rekindle his relationship . Should I continue forward with my feeling , or should I give him and his relationship space to clear up ?

Boundaries

Dear Bounderies ,

Tell him you care about him and don't want to be in the middle of his divorce . Suggest that you step back until he handles his business . Then do so . If you two are meant to be together , a pause or whatever length should not be too long .

Maxy

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Dear Maxy ,

I posted photos of my son's class performance on Facebook and was so proud of them . That is , until one mom called me and chastised me for posting a picture that included her child without her permission . She asked me to take the picture down at once . I did , but I don't see what the big deal is . Do you ?

Proud Mom

Dear Proud Mom ,

In this Internet age , it can be tricky figuring out where your rights began and end . But that mom was rght . Children's rights are protec ted under the law .

The Children's Online Privacy Protection Act states that any identifable information about a child under the age 13 that is posted on the Internet must be posted by the parent or by a person who has obtained VERIFIABLE CONSENT from the parent . . Website opertators are held legally accountable for verifying that publications made by anyone other than the legal parent or guardian have the consent of the parent .

That said , countless people post images of their children and others without issue . My recommendation for the future is to do your best to photograph your child seperately so that you can post safely . Otherwise , ask parents for permission (in writing) before you post images on the Internet.

Maxy

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Dear Maxy ,

Our daughter is 42-years-old and divorced . For the past two years , she has been seeing 'Matt.' We accepted him and welcome him at our numerous family gathering .

Several weeks ago , our daughter drank too much at a party and ended up in bed with another man . Needless to say , Matt became quite angry . He went on a rampage . He threw bricks through her car windows , punched her in the eye and showed up at our doorstep to cuss her out . He also confronted her kids .

We strongly advised her to end the relationship . But after Matt cooled down , he apologize , went for court -ordered counseling and now attends AA. So our daughter has started seeing him again .

We totally disaprove of this relationship , but she has asked us to accept this guy again and welcome him to our family gatherings . We don't want him near us . It sounds like Matt is trying to do the right thing , but we can't forget what happened . We worry about her constantly when she is with him , in case he loses his temper again . How should we handle this ?

Concerned

Dear Concerned ,

Yoy don't have to approve of Matt in order to have a relationship with your daughter , and it is important that you welcome Matt into your home , but please arrange to meet your daughter in other locations . If Matt abuses her again , she will need to know you are available .

Please urge your daughter to contact the ... National Domestic Vioence Hotline (http://thehotline.org) for more information and to give Matt time to prove himself before she becomes too entangled . Her life may depend on it .

Maxy