Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,
My best friend  invited  me  to go on vacation with her and her family this summer,  free of charge . She knows that my funds are limited  and that I could never pay for this trip myself . I think that it's really nice  hat she would  make such a generous  invitation, but I feel weird  about it . I will hardly have money for incidentals  during  the trip . It feels weird to be a freeloader, even if  it is my friend . Her parents are cool about it . I know they have taken friends on trips with them before, like when we were in college, but we've been out of school  for two years  now . They are not showy people, so I don't think  they will make me feel bad . They love me . We have been friends  for 10 years  . What do  you think I should do ?
Broke  Guest
Dear Broke  Guest ,
Given the way  you describe  your friend and her parents, it seems  that they genuinely want to include  you in their family vacation . Indeed, it sounds like they  are including  you as a family member .
In order  for  you to say yes, though, you have to make peace with the idea and put aside your pride. Then speak to your friend and thank her for the invitation . Be clear about  how happy  you are  that they are being so generous . Admit to her that you will likely  not have much spending money because your finances  are very tight at the moment . If she understands, and I think she will, go and  have a great time .
Maxy

Dear  Maxy ,
My daughter applied  to 11 colleges  and she was accepted to all of them . The  colleges are  mostly on the East Coast, and we are trying  to figure  out which  college will be best suited for our child . It is  such a blessing to know that my husband and I do not  have to take out  additional  loans, but we are concerned  because  we want  to make the right decision  regarding  our daughter's  education . How do we decide  where  she  should go ?
Going to College
Dear  going to College,
Congratulations on so many acceptances  . You should be very proud that your daughter is so desirable to these schools . I will caution you, however,  that unless each acceptance came with an official  scholarship offer, you cannot assume that you will not  have to pay  for her education . Acceptance and admission  represent only the first  steps  in this process . Next is paying  for it .
Read  the paperwork  carefully  and identify which schools are offering  financial  support . If you need the support, weed out  any schools  that  are not offering  your  daughter money . Of the ones that are left, review  the curriculum  of each school  with your  daughter  to identify  which ones have  courses in her areas of  interest . To the best of  your  ability, help  your daughter  select  a school that will educate her based  on what she believes  she wants to study . This  will help ensure that she has  a successful  college experience. And I am sure it will be wonderful.
Best of luck,
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I'm a high school student  in a small town  and I'm really scared  for my health .
My maternal grandmother  died of  breast cancer  and she left behind  three daughters  two of  whom have  daughters of  their own . There's a high chance that my mother, aunts , cousin or I  will have breast cancer as well .
I'm scared to  the bone of this disease and I'm always  nervous  that my self-exams  aren't terribly accurate . I've talked to  my mom about getting  a professional  exam or  even a mammogram, but I always  feel like  she avoids  the subject  . Is there  anyway  I can get an exam  without my  mother knowing ? If not , how can I convince  her to get me one ?
Worried
Dear  Worried ,
While having a close relative  who has had  breast cancer can increase your risk factor, it  doesn't necessarily  mean  that anyone else in your family  will get it . A small percentage of the population  carries  the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene and if  Grandma had this, your mother  should  speak  to her  doctor  about genetic testing . Otherwise your  risk is no greater  than any girl your age .
But  I agree  that an exam  might put your mind at ease . Ask your mother  to make an appointment  for you with a gynecologist . If she  refuses, you can talk to your  pediatrician  about this at your next appointment, or  contact Planned Parenthood  (planned-parenthood.org) for information . Most adult women get a mammogram every one or two years. Keep up the self exams; they are important and you would notice any prominent abnormality. Survival rates from breast cancer have been steadily climbing since 1989. This is the result of earlier detection through screening and increased awareness among women. Also the treatment has improved in leaps and bounds.
Don't be frightened,
Maxy