Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

We have a dear friend we would never want to hurt , but she is almost unbearable  to be around  because she talks non-stop . A person can hardly get a word in edgewise . When she does stop to talk a breath  and I interject something, she rolls right over me  as if nothing was said .

I hate to talk to her on the phone  because I cannot dis-engage . It would be difficult to avoid her . She recently had a bout with depression , which we suspect was triggered by a friend broaching this subject.

Carla

Dear Carla ,

A common reason for someone to become a chatterbox is hearing loss . Your friend may be speaking over you  and talking non-stop because she is trying to hide the fact that she cannot hear the other side of the conversation . If you can bring this up (perhaps by claiming you are suffering from the same problem) suggest she talk to her doctor about it . Until then , you can dis-engage by saying , "Sorry I have to run . I'll talk to you later."

Maxy

Dear Maxy,

My sister is almot 50-year-old  and still picks her nose in public . When I am with her , it is very embarrassing . She uses a tissue , but nontheless shoves her fingers up her nose . It is not subtle .

I've told her to stop doing this and to blow her nose like a normal person, but she doesn't listen . I know she often is alienated from co-workers  and I suspect this bad habit may be causing her to miss job-related opportunities . How can I get her to listen ?

Picky's Sister

Dear Picky's Sister,

Constant nose picking can be an obsessive-compulsive disorder triggered by stress . Or it could be that her nose itches  a lot . But some habits are so ingrained , they are done unconsciously . In order for your sister to stop sticking her fingers up her nose , she will have to be aware that she's doing it  and wants to stop .

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

My friend is a nice woman who did a bad thing  . She started dating a mutual friend , who was married . She didn't sneak around or anything  . She just seemingly sidled up to him , and after awhile , he was hooked . I am so mad at her . She knew he was married , and it didn't seem to make a bit of a difference . I don't think I can be her friend anymore  . But that's awkward because I'm close to him and don't want to end that friendship . What should I do ?

Linda

Dear Linda ,

First , I have to tell you that it takes two to be involved in an affair . I wonder if you realize what you just said. You are mad at your female friend  to the point of ending that friendship , but you still want to be friends with the man . Do you realize that both of them is at fault ? If you are thinking  of eliminating a friend  from your life because of immoral behavior, it seems to me  that both have to go .

Your view of this situation seems hypocritical . It's not  OK for  either person to participate in infidelity.

Maxy