Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I just found out my best friend's parents  are  getting a divorce . Our parents  have been friends  for years  and they are like a second family to me . Her  dad  cheated on her mom  and her mom has turned the kids against their  dad . When my  friend  tries to talk to me  about this  situation , I feel very uncomfortable  because I think  that it is wrong  that she  does  not  communicate with her dad. She asks  me for advice , but I don't want to go against  what she  believes is right . I know she is very upset  about this situation  and I really don't  know  what  to say  to her when she brings up the divorce .
Should I try  to avoid  this  subject  completely  or  try  and comfort  her without  giving  any opinion ?
Uncomfortable
Dear Uncomfortable ,
You are doing the right thing  by  not taking sides . There is  no winning in this situation if  you become too vocal  about  your opinions . Do your  best  to simply  be there  for your  friend . Remind  her  that you love her  and want to support  her through  everything . Suggest  that she see a counselor  to get professional  support  as she  goes through  this incredibly difficult period .
If  she asks you to take sides  or  agree  with something  that makes  you uncomfortable, tell her no . It is OK  for you  to say that you refuse  to speak badly  about either of her parents .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
Six years ago, I gave up my job  to take care of my mother , while  my siblings went off  and had fun . After Mom passed , I still had the house to clean  and laundry  to do . I never asked  for a dime  But as my own health has declined , everyone  continues  to treat me  like a servant .
My father  and brother both say demeaning  things  to me . My sister-in-law  is a know it all  and makes it clear  she  thinks I am an idiot . My son-in-law makes  me the butt of his  jokes . They all behave as if I am nothing .
I am 60-years-old  and tired of this . All I can think  of is getting away  from every single one of them . Should I ?
Kay
Dear Kay,
Is there a reason you should  continue  living in your mother's  house? Your  relatives treat you  like a servant  because you permit it . It's OK  to say no  to them . If  you can find any type of  job that pays, I highly recommend that you start putting  money aside  and make a life  for yourself  that you can enjoy . You don't have to cut off contact . You simply  need them  to see that  you no longer  will tolerate  such treatment .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
Recently , I have  been trying  to eat healthier  so I can lose weight . I join a gym  and have been working out at least four times a week . Most of my friends  have been understanding  and supportive  of this  goal ; however , one of my best friends  is  treating  me as if it's a joke . She  has  not taken me seriously at all , and all she does  is talk about  food  ... whether  it's a new  dessert  place we need to try  or the mac and cheese  she had  for dinner the other night . I am insecure  about this  and she makes  me feel uncomfortable  because I feel  all she  does is  judge . She is very manipulative  and it seems  as if  she does  not want me  to reach my goal .
It stresses  me out  because she is always asking  for plans, but I do not want to associate  myself  with someone  so negative .
How  can I confront  her about this in a nice way .
Texas
Dear Texas ,
Drum up the courage to speak directly to her . Tell her  it hurts your feelings knowing  that she has  been unsupportive  of you in your efforts  to get healthier  and lose weight. Point out the things  that she has said  that have been hurtful . Remind  her that  you need  her as  your friend  to be  a cheerleader  rather  than a naysayer . Tell her that  if she is not able  to be supportive , you will not  be able  to spend as much time with her .
Do not  feel bad  about taking  care of yourself . In order  to make the huge step  that you have embarked  upon , you need  to be  completely  focused . Surround yourself with supporters .
Maxy