Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
My sister's daughter-in-law  is pregnant  with her first  child, and my sister is in a dilemma  about whether or  not to host  a baby shower . Her son  and daughter-in-law  never  come  to any family  functions, and his wife  has never  attended  any family bridal  and baby showers. I seriously  doubt  that  any family  members  would  recognize  her if they passed her on the street .
Is it tacky  to have a baby shower and invite  family  members  that really don't  know  her ?
Baby Shower Dilemma
Dear Dilemma ,
Technically, showers  should  not be given by immediate family members  (e.g. , grandma-to-be). Nonetheless, I know many people  do this anyway . A shower  is about providing  for the child . Your sister  wants  to do something nice  for her  daughter-in-law  and ensure  a good relationship with her new  grandchild . It's  OK  to invite  family members  and those that don' wish to attend  (for any reason) can RSVP that they won't be there .
Maxy

Dear  Maxy,
My mother  recently  came to visit  me at  college  and took my  boyfriend  and me out  to  dinner . After  we  finished eating,  we sat across  the table  from  my mother  and had a post  dinner  conversation . I put  my arm  around  his  neck  and began playing  with his ear . I  did  not think anything of it . But my mother  stared  across the table  shocked . After we dropped  off my boyfriend , my mother told me that ear fondling  is not appropriate  in public . I like  public  displays  of affection , and I do not see  why  that little  gesture  would make  people  around us  uncomfortable .
PDAs   Texas
Dear PDAs,
The person that was uncomfortable  was your  mother, likely because  that "little gesture" suggests  intimacy, something  that may be difficult  for your mother  to accept  is part of your life . Out of respect  for your mother, refrain  from touching your boyfriend in front of her . In general, read the  room where you are  and the people  around  you  to determine what public displays of affections will be welcome  and act accordingly .
Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I am scared . I went  to a party  with a bunch of my college  buddies , and we all got crazy drunk . I ended up sleeping with one of the guys at the party . I am so embarrassed . I didn't  know him at all . I don't even know his name . Now I'm freaked out . I can't believed how stupid I was . My friends  and I haven't mentioned  anything about the party or what we did . Should I just act like nothing happened ?
Scared  Sober
Dear Scared Sober,
The smartest thing you can do is talk to your friends and to go to a doctor .  Tell them that you think it would be good  for you to discuss what happened  and how to make sure  it  doesn't happen again . Engaging  in reckless behavior as a group  and then pretending it away makes the action even more reckless because it can easily be repeated . Agree that you will not make such a dangerous set of mistakes in the future . They may be as freaked as you are and I am sure they will agree.
By all means , go to the doctor  and get tested  for sexually transmitted  diseases . You may also  want  to  get a pregnancy test, just  to be sure of  your status . Encourage  your friends  to do the  same .
Maxy