Kids Say The Darndest Things 'Just Plain Fun'

Not all girls want to be Marilyn Monore when they grow up ... here are other career ideas advanced by the kids :

*** What will you be ?

A nurse.

*** What if you had a handsome , romantic patient ?

I'd read to him .

*** What if you had a chubby , old , ugly one ?

I'd give him sleeping pills .

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*** What would you like to be ?

A stewardess .

*** Waht if a plane was in danger over the Rocky Mountains ?

I'd put parachutes on everybody and if there wasn't any parachutes I'd sew sheets into parachutes real fast and put extra pillows so if the sheet ripprd on the way down , they could always land on the pillows .

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*** What do you want to be ?

A fireman .

*** What would you do it there was a fire on the fourth floor of a hotel and you had to get a real fat lady down ?

I'd get a gun with a rope on it and shoot it up to her and she could tie it around her waist and jump out .

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*** What would you like to be ?

A bluebird .

*** Why ?

So I could eat worms .

*** Do you think you will like them ?

Because birds like them .

*** What would you guess they taste like ?

Kind of like an ordinary , average worm tastes .

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*** What type of boy are you ?

I'm a dreamer .

*** What kind of dreamer ?

Well , I have daydreams in the daytime about going to the moon , and at night I just dream of girls .

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*** Who's smarter ... boys or girls ?

Girls are smarter in school , but it's for a reason .

*** What's the reason ?

They cheat .

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*** What do you want to be ?

A teacher .

*** What would you do with bad boys and girls ?

Put them in a chair and let them think about how bad they've been .

*** What if the whole class was bad ?

I'd tie them all up and roll them in a corner .

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*** What you want to be ?

A nurse .

*** What if I came to you with a broken arm ?

I'd sew it on .

*** What if i had a headache ?

I'd give you a Bufferin .

*** Stomachache ?

Ginger ale.

*** Arthritis ?

Carter's Little Liver Pills .

*** What about a bad cold ?

Bottle of Eastside Beer.

*** What would do if a baby had a pain in the big toe ?

Hang her up on the clothesline .

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*** What are you going to be ?

A traffic officer .

*** What if you caught Marilyn Monroe speeding ?

I'd kiss her first then arrest her .