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Monday, April 2, 2012

Kids Say The Darndest Things 'Just Plain Fun'


Not all girls want to be Marilyn Monore when they grow up ... here are other career ideas advanced by the kids :
*** What will you be ?
A nurse.
*** What if you had a handsome , romantic patient ?
I'd read to him .
*** What if you had a chubby , old , ugly one ?
I'd give him sleeping pills .
*************************************************************
*** What would you like to be ?
A stewardess .
*** Waht if a plane was in danger over the Rocky Mountains ?
I'd put parachutes on everybody and if there wasn't any parachutes I'd sew sheets into parachutes real fast and put extra pillows so if the sheet ripprd on the way down , they could always land on the pillows .
**************************************************************
*** What do you want to be ?
A fireman .
*** What would you do it there was a fire on the fourth floor of a hotel and you had to get a real fat lady down ?
I'd get a gun with a rope on it and shoot it up to her and she could tie it around her waist and jump out .
***************************************************************
*** What would you like to be ?
A bluebird .
*** Why ?
So I could eat worms .
*** Do you think you will like them ?
Because birds like them .
*** What would you guess they taste like ?
Kind of like an ordinary , average worm tastes .
****************************************************************
*** What type of boy are you ?
I'm a dreamer .
*** What kind of dreamer ?
Well , I have daydreams in the daytime about going to the moon , and at night I just dream of girls .
*****************************************************************
*** Who's smarter ... boys or girls ?
Girls are smarter in school , but it's for a reason .
*** What's the reason ?
They cheat .
*****************************************************************
*** What do you want to be ?
A teacher .
*** What would you do with bad boys and girls ?
Put them in a chair and let them think about how bad they've been .
*** What if the whole class was bad ?
I'd tie them all up and roll them in a corner .
*****************************************************************
*** What you want to be ?
A nurse .
*** What if I came to you with a broken arm ?
I'd sew it on .
*** What if i had a headache ?
I'd give you a Bufferin .
*** Stomachache ?
Ginger ale.
*** Arthritis ?
Carter's Little Liver Pills .
*** What about a bad cold ?
Bottle of Eastside Beer.
*** What would do if a baby had a pain in the big toe ?
Hang her up on the clothesline .
***************************************************************
*** What are you going to be ?
A traffic officer .
*** What if you caught Marilyn Monroe speeding ?
I'd kiss her first then arrest her .

2 comments:

  1. Hey PIC,
    This is my favorite one so far. I really enjoyed it. See you later.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Glad you liked it , always on the lookout for new ones but they are far and few in between .

    ReplyDelete

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