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Thursday, April 5, 2012

Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I have a co-worker who constantly yells at everyone . She gossips and complains about co-workers all the time . When anyone makes a mistake she makes fun of them . A few people have quit because of her . Customers have complained about her rudeness and how she screams at co-workers .
We have brought this up to our boss and his supervisor , but they say , "Well , that's just how she is ." I'm tired of it and so is everyone else .
But when I tried to get other people to register a complaint as a group , no one would man up because they are afraid the co-worker will find out . Then , if nothing happens , she will make our lives hell . What's our next step ?
No Fun Here
Dear No Fun ,
If you cannot get the office staff to register a group complaint and management refuses to intervene , your choice is to put up with this annoying co-worker or leave .
Maxy

Dear Maxy,

My husband is driving me crazy . Everything I say , he says the opposite . Even if I voice an opinion I know he shares , he'll take the opposite viewpoint . If I say I don't want to go somewhere , he'll say , "Yes you do." If I say I want to go somewhere , he'll say , "No you don't."

He also belitties me when I read . Every TV show I like , he says , "It's dumb." If it belongs to me , he says , "Let's get rid of it ." I was making the bed yesterday and told him it wasn't necessary for him to watch , and he said , "Yes it is ." Why do you think he does this ? How can I get him to stop ?

Enough Already

Dear Enough,

How long have you been married to this contrarian ? Has he always been annoying ? Frankly , it sounds like he is enjoying pushing your buttons and demeaning your choices because it gives him control over you . So instead of getting angry or frustrated , ignore him . Smile sweetly and say , "Absolutely , darling ," while you continue to watch your programs and read your books . Of course , if the situation becomes worse , consider counseling .

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

Please emplasize ( to the reader who can't stop holding a grudge) that forgiveness is not yielding , nor is it condoning or permitting abuse to recur .

Yes , there is every benefit to shedding the anguish of innocent damage . Planning punishment and revenge , and suffering lost sleep over the agony of frustration and hurt , seems the perfect plan for developing a peptic ulcer .

Doc

Dear Doc ,

You are making such an important point . Under no circumstances is it healthy to hold a grudge . As tough as forgiveness can be , it is liberating .

A coach I respect tremendously ... Pat Ward ... (www.patwardconsulting.com) speaks a lot about creating space in your life to be able to think clearly and make healthy choices .She is a big fan of practicing forgiveness because it allows you to allows you to take actions in your life free of stress that can lead to limited decisions .

I am a big fan of letting go of anything that will cause you to fret over things that you cannot control . Practicing forgiveness is definitely worth the effort .

Maxy

3 comments:

  1. Dear Maxy,
    The lady with the annoying husband needs to get him into treatment. He needs professional help very badly. And if it doesn't help him she might consider losing that loser. He intends to make her life miserable and he has made a great start.

    Sometimes you are not so on the ball as I would like you to be Maxy. You need to study more and you take far too many naps.

    Human mama

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Human Mama ,
    I am very much so on the ball.
    If you notice ... I told the lady with the annoying husband to ignore him ... if he continues to annoy her to take him to counseling.
    I may just do as you say ... get in your bed and take a nap , better yet I may take the next month off and go on holiday with the White Cat .
    Human Mama ... take a second look . HA!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Councelling is not what he needs. The man is psychotic he needs psychiatric help. He is a wingnut, a fruitcake, an Almond Joy bar.

    And you need to not be so sassy or you will find your little butt at the pound in a cage for 'bad doggies'. You are keeping bad company. That cat has turned your head. Dare I say you are 'pussy whipped'?? Yes, I guess I dare.

    HM

    ReplyDelete

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