Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

My daughter is planning a wedding to a great guy , and I am thrilled for her . The problem is ,he comes from a wealthy family . I live in a mobile home . If I'm licky , I could stratch together $3,000 to put toward her wedding , but that's it .

I don't want to use the little money I've saved toward my retirement . I've already spent a fortune on my dress , the gifts and all the little extras . So my question is , how do I offer $3,000 and say that is all I have to give toward the actual wedding ? Do I need to apologize ? Should i take out a loan or borrow from my retiremen t to save face ? This whole thing is keeping me up at nights.

The Bride's Mother

Dear Mother , Parents should never put themselves in hock in order to pay for a child's wedding . An adult bride and groom should pay for their own nuptials whenever possible , even if that means cake and punch in the backyard . Tell your daughter you love her very much , and you will be happy to give her $3,000 toward the cost of her wedding . Period .

Maxy

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Dear Maxy ,

My fiance , "Harry," has several female friends , but one in particular bothers me . Harry lives 60 miles away and visits on weekends . In between , he often goes out with "Liza" for breakfast , lunch or dinner , for long rides , to climb mountains or to swim .

Liza is a lovely lady , and I like her , but she is single and their relationship is making me uncomfortable . I tried to talk to Harry about it , but he ranted and raved about my jeaslousy . I don't believe anything has happened between them , but I f eel they are playing with fire and not considering my feeling .What should I do ? Am I wrong to worry ?

Getting Under My Skin

Dear Getting ,

Harry's friendship with Liza doesn't concern me as much as his reaction when you brought it up . Ranting , raving and accusing you of jealousy is not the reaction of a caring , loving , respectful fiance . It is manipulative . It puts you on the defensive , possibly to shield his own feelings or actions . Whether anything has happened with Liza (or will) is not as important as how Harry feels about her and what that relationship mean to him . Please get some premarital counseling so the two of you can hash this out before making things permanent .

Maxy

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Dear Maxy,

Our neighbor "Davey," is a homosexual and frequently has vaeious men stay at his house overnight .

Here's the problem ; We have an 11-year-old son. and though Davey is nice to him and a good neighbor to us , should we keep our son from association with davey ? My Husband doesn't seem to think there's any problem , but one can never be to safe when it comes to protecting your children .

Sleepless

Dear Sleepless ,

Davey should be treated no differently than any other neighbor who has frequent overnight guests , male or female , presumably for intimate purposes . You wouldn't want his casual promiscuity to be something your son emulates in his own life , but I assume you would discuss such things with your child as a normal part of transmitting your values and morals . It has nothing to do with Davey's sexual orientation , nor does it make him a greater risk to your son's welfare . And if your real worry is whether association with Davey will make your son gay ... the answer is no .

Maxy

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Dear Maxy ,

I have been dating a really nice guy for a couple of months . It's long-distance , but we Skype a lot , so it's fine . We was talking everyday before spring brak . Now , no calls . When I called him , he said this is the time he goes underground and talks to no one . HUH ? What should I do now ?

Perplexed

Dear Perplexed ,

Move on . He has .

Maxy