Kids Say The Darndest Things 'Kids: They're Wonderful'

If you need further convincing that 'Kids are Wonderful',' run your eyes over this selection of random comments from the brains of everyday boys and giels , just like those who may be living next door to you ... or right in your home :
***"I notice you have a tooth out . How do you think the new tooth knows when to start in ?"
"It was the last one out so it ought to be the first one in."
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Santa Claus has twelve reindeers , but he only uses about ten in the air .
*** Only twn ? What happens to the others?
They're spares .
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I'm the bravest boy on our block .
*** How do you know ?
I can kill bees with my bare fingers .
*** My , that is very brave . How do you do that ?
I sneak up behind them when they are on a flower and squeeze them .
*** With that kind of nerve , what do you think you will be when you grow up ?
"A bartender," said the boy with the widest grin .
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*** Do you have any real problems in life ?
When I go to a school dance somebody else always gets the pretty girls , and I'm left with the dregs.
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*** What did you have for breakfast ?
Eggs .
*** How do you like them ?
With the yellow in them .
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*** You're a club scout aren't you ?
Yes . Out motto is "Be Prepared."
*** What would yu do if you was lost in the forest ?
The thing to do is make a signal fire .
*** How do you do that ?You get tinder and flint and rocks and wood .
*** Have you actually tried this ?
Certainly . I've been away out in the mountains .
*** My what a good scout you are . After you got everything together , what happened ?
Nothing .
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I'm from Texas , the most wonderful place in the world .
*** What do you miss most about it ?
The snakes and the sandstorms .
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*** Who's the prettiest woman in the word in your opinion ?
My teacher . Right out there in the audience .
*** Well that takes care of your grades for the year . But what about your mother ?
Oh , she's okay I guess , except she runs around the house in her nightgown all day .
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I got a new boyfriend (bragged the pretty little girl )
*** How do you know he's really your boyfriend ?
I know because yesterday he told me to shut up and go home .
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I have one little sister named Judy and we have a baby in escrow.
*** In escrow ? Who told you that ?
All I know is my daddy said so .
*** What is escrow ? Do you have any idea ?
Well my daddy says anything that's in escrow , it seems like it's never going to come out .
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My sister just had a baby but they didn't tell whether it's a boy or girl , so I don't know whether I am an aunt or an uncle .
*** How are you doing in school
I'm first in English .
I'm first in History .
I'm first in the street when the bell rings .

NESTING TRAYS

Here’s your chance to cut lots of corners and still get great-looking results. These sturdy trays are easy to build, thanks to their simple box joints and template-routed curves. You don’t need a super-equipped shop, just a tablesaw with a dado set, a router table and a drill press. You’ve probably saved enough scrap pieces from other projects to build the trays and the jigs, but even if you buy lumber and plywood, you can make this trio of trays for less than $60.

Cut the Box Joints 1. Prepare your stock, including extra pieces for test-cutting. Cut blanks for the ends (A1, B1 and C1, Fig. A, page 67) and sides (A2, B2 and C2) to length, but leave them 1/8 in. oversize in width. All the ends must be squarely cut. 2. Arrange the pieces for each box and then mark the bottom edge of every one. When you cut the box joints, these marks will correctly orient the pieces in the jig. 3. Box-joint jigs index the workpiece for cutting sockets. (Photo 1). Cutting a series of sockets creates the pins. To make the joint, one piece has pins where the mating piece has sockets (see “Tablesaw Box Joints,”). 4. Cut test box joints to dial in a precise fit. This is fussy work, because the tolerances are tiny. The pieces should slide together without binding or rattling. The best jigs have built-in adjustment systems. 5. Cut all the box joints. On the end-piece blanks, cut sockets only as far as their curved profiles dictate. The side-piece blanks are oversize, so you’ll have to make an extra pass to complete the top sockets. Rout the Ends 6. Use the end profile of the large tray (A1, Fig. C, below) as a pattern when you make the routing jig (Fig. B, below). First, transfer the curved edge profile to the jig’s base. Then drill 1-in.-dia. holes with a Forstner bit to establish the ends of the handle hole. Finish rough-cutting the handle hole with a jigsaw. Then rough-cut the edge profile. 7. Smooth the edge profile using an oscillating spindle sander or a sanding drum in your drill press. Install a 3/4-in.-dia. spindle or drum to smooth the handle hole. 8. Use a large end-piece blank to position the jig’s fence. Each end has six pins. Fasten the fence so the top pins are flush with the base’s curved profile. 9. Install the stops after centering the large end-piece blank. Mount the toggle clamps (see Sources, below). 10. Draw edge profiles and handle holes on all the end blanks after installing them in the jig. Make spacers (W, X, Y and Z, Fig. B) to position the medium and small blanks. 11. Rough-saw all the curved profiles about 1/16 in. away from the pattern lines. To rough out the handle holes, drill 7/8-in.-dia. holes and use a jigsaw to saw out the waste. 12. Rout the edge profiles with a top-bearing flush-trim bit (Photo 2). Then rout the handle holes (Photo 3). Assemble the Trays 13. Saw grooves for the plywood bottoms (A3, B3 and C3). On the side pieces, the grooves align with the top of the first pin (Fig. A). On the end pieces, they align with the top of the first socket. Because 1/4-in.-thick plywood is often undersize, you can’t use a dado set. Use your regular blade and make two passes. Adjust the fence between passes to widen the groove. 14. Assemble the boxes without glue to make sure everything fits. Rip the sides to stand 1/32 in. above the ends. 15. Disassemble the boxes for sanding. 16. Glue the boxes together. Spread a thin layer of glue on all the pins and sockets. Use a brush and glue with an extended open time. Squeeze a thin bead of glue into the grooves for the bottoms, too. 17. Clamp each box using blocks to fully seat the joints (Photo 4). Make sure the boxes are square. 18. After the glue has dried, remove the clamps and knock off the blocks. Dampen any paper that remains attached; after about a minute, it’ll scrub right off. Check for any remaining glue—the moisture makes it turn a ghostly white color. Simply scrub the surface to remove it. Use a chisel to remove any glue inside the tray. 19. Cut plugs (D) and fill the holes in the ends of the trays (Photo 5). 20. True up the sides and ends (Photo 6). Spray on the Finish 21. Go over the boxes again with fine sandpaper; the grain will be raised in any area that has been wet. Slightly round all the sharp corners, especially those around the handle holes. 22. For small projects like this one, I prefer aerosol finishes. Spray on at least two light coats. Let the finish dry and sand lightly between each coat. Urethane finishes provide the best protection.

The ends of the trays match, so you can comfortably carry all three. Photo 1: Great-looking box-joints are easy to make. I used a shop-made jig and my tablesaw, but these sturdy joints can also be cut on a router table or with a dovetailing jig. Photo 2: Rout the curved ends of all three boxes using the same jig (Fig. B, below). The large box’s ends exactly fit the opening. Spacers center the ends of the medium and small boxes, so the profiles and handle holes all match. Photo 3: Rout the handle holes after making sure the workpiece is securely held. With the router unplugged, center the bit inside the roughsawn opening. Hold the jig steady so the bit spins freely when you power up. Then rout counterclockwise. Photo 4: Protect the end grain when you glue the tray together. Paper towels absorb squeezed-out glue, so it doesn’t soak deeply into the wood. Because of the towels, the clamping blocks knock off easily after the glue has dried Photo 5: Fill holes left by the bottom grooves with end-grain plugs. Once cut and sanded flush, they’ll match the end-grain pins. Photo 6: Level the sides and ends with a block plane or by sanding.

Chicken With Wine and Mushrooms - Very Tasty

CHICKEN WITH WINE AND MUSHROOMS

Read more about it at www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1639,147181-235199,00.html Content Copyright © 2012 Cooks.com - All rights reserved. 1 c. bread crumbs, finely grated 4 whole chicken breasts or thighs, skinned and boned Salt and pepper to taste 7 tbsp. butter, divided 1/4 c. minced onions 1/2 c. chicken broth 1/2 c. white wine 1/2 lb. mushrooms, sliced (2 1/2 c.) Sprinkle chicken with salt and pepper. Coat chicken with bread crumbs. Brown in a large skillet over medium heat in 4 tablespoons butter. Place chicken in a single layer in a baking dish. Saute onions, in butter remaining in skillet until tender. Add broth and wine, bring to boil. Pour around chicken and bake 40 minutes at 350 degrees. Saute mushrooms with remaining butter. Add to chicken just before serving.

Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

My daughter is planning a wedding to a great guy , and I am thrilled for her . The problem is ,he comes from a wealthy family . I live in a mobile home . If I'm licky , I could stratch together $3,000 to put toward her wedding , but that's it .

I don't want to use the little money I've saved toward my retirement . I've already spent a fortune on my dress , the gifts and all the little extras . So my question is , how do I offer $3,000 and say that is all I have to give toward the actual wedding ? Do I need to apologize ? Should i take out a loan or borrow from my retiremen t to save face ? This whole thing is keeping me up at nights.

The Bride's Mother

Dear Mother , Parents should never put themselves in hock in order to pay for a child's wedding . An adult bride and groom should pay for their own nuptials whenever possible , even if that means cake and punch in the backyard . Tell your daughter you love her very much , and you will be happy to give her $3,000 toward the cost of her wedding . Period .

Maxy

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Dear Maxy ,

My fiance , "Harry," has several female friends , but one in particular bothers me . Harry lives 60 miles away and visits on weekends . In between , he often goes out with "Liza" for breakfast , lunch or dinner , for long rides , to climb mountains or to swim .

Liza is a lovely lady , and I like her , but she is single and their relationship is making me uncomfortable . I tried to talk to Harry about it , but he ranted and raved about my jeaslousy . I don't believe anything has happened between them , but I f eel they are playing with fire and not considering my feeling .What should I do ? Am I wrong to worry ?

Getting Under My Skin

Dear Getting ,

Harry's friendship with Liza doesn't concern me as much as his reaction when you brought it up . Ranting , raving and accusing you of jealousy is not the reaction of a caring , loving , respectful fiance . It is manipulative . It puts you on the defensive , possibly to shield his own feelings or actions . Whether anything has happened with Liza (or will) is not as important as how Harry feels about her and what that relationship mean to him . Please get some premarital counseling so the two of you can hash this out before making things permanent .

Maxy

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Dear Maxy,

Our neighbor "Davey," is a homosexual and frequently has vaeious men stay at his house overnight .

Here's the problem ; We have an 11-year-old son. and though Davey is nice to him and a good neighbor to us , should we keep our son from association with davey ? My Husband doesn't seem to think there's any problem , but one can never be to safe when it comes to protecting your children .

Sleepless

Dear Sleepless ,

Davey should be treated no differently than any other neighbor who has frequent overnight guests , male or female , presumably for intimate purposes . You wouldn't want his casual promiscuity to be something your son emulates in his own life , but I assume you would discuss such things with your child as a normal part of transmitting your values and morals . It has nothing to do with Davey's sexual orientation , nor does it make him a greater risk to your son's welfare . And if your real worry is whether association with Davey will make your son gay ... the answer is no .

Maxy

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Dear Maxy ,

I have been dating a really nice guy for a couple of months . It's long-distance , but we Skype a lot , so it's fine . We was talking everyday before spring brak . Now , no calls . When I called him , he said this is the time he goes underground and talks to no one . HUH ? What should I do now ?

Perplexed

Dear Perplexed ,

Move on . He has .

Maxy

What Are You Worth?

The Black Market Wants Your Body



Kids Say The Darndest Things 'Free for All'

Kids are the best comedians and it's free to enjoy , join us and enjoy wth us .

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Marjorie , age four , marched into the grocer's to tell the news . "We've got a new baby brother up at our house ," she said .

*** "You don't tell me !" said the grocer . "Is he going to stay with you ?"

"I guess so ," said Marjorie . "He's got his things off ."

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Little Ruthie ran into the house in a feverish state of excitement .

"Oh, mother !" she cried . "Our pussy-cat has got some kittens and I didn't even kn ow she was married ."

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Little Johnny came running into the house stuttering in his excitement .

"Mommy," he panted , "Do you know Eddie Smith's neck ?"

*** "Do I know what ?" asked the mother .

"Do you know Eddie Smith's neck ?" the boy repeated .

*** "Well , I know Eddie Smith ," answered the puzzled parent , "So I suppose I know his neck. Why?"

"Well ," said Johnny , "he just fell into the pool up to it ."

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*** "Well, said the friendly neighbor , "I hear you've got a little baby brother at your house . What do you think of him ?"

"I don't like him ," said Sally frankly , "He's got a funny red face abd he cries all the time ."

*** "Why don't you send him back where he came from ?"

"Oh, I'm afraid we couldn't do that . We've used him two days already ."

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A small boy came home from his first day of Sunday School and began to empty his pockets of money ... nickels , dimes , quarters ... while his parents gasped in surprise .

*** Finally his mother said , "Where did you get all that money ?"

"At Sunday School ," the boy replied the boy nonchalantly . They have bowls of it ."

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*** Two little girls tiptoed into the living room and over to the sofa where their daddy was stretched out for a post-supper nap . Wanting to know if he was really asleep or just pretending to be , the girls whispered and giggled as they stealthily approac hed . Finally one of the darted forward , seized an eyelid between two little fingers and lifting it up , leaned forward and stared at what was underneath . Then , signing in satisfaction , she murmured , "Well , anyhow ha's still in there ."

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*** Bringing home the report card is another great indoor game in American homes ,The object is to see how well a bad report card can be presented and how little penalty can be suffered for a bad mark .

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*** One duffer got an "A" .

"Hey , dad , you're sure a lucky parent ."

*** "How's that ."

You don't have to buy me a lot of new school books this next year . I'll still be in the same class . Ain't that swell ?"

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*** The little four year old cried bitterly when a large friendly dog bounded up to him and licked his hands and face . "Wht is it darling ? cried the mother . "Did he bite you ?"

"No ," came the reply . "But he tasted me ."

******************************************************************************Little Freddy had never send a plate of Jello . He sat there at the dinner table staring at it for a long moment watching it quiver .

*** "Go ahead and eat it ," his mother ordered .

"Eat it !" the boy drew bac k in amazement . "It ain't dead yet."

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*** The little girl was making out a list of things she wanted for her birthday , when her mother inquired what she wanted more than anything else .

" A baby brother."

*** "But honey ," her mother tried to explain , " you see your daddy and I would like to give you a little baby brother , but there isn't enough time before your birthday ."

"Why don't you do like they do down at Daddy's factory when they want something in a hurry ? Put more men on the job."

Farley Ferret

SORRY GALS, THERE ARE NO INSTRUCTIONS WITH THIS

Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
How do you say goodbye on the last day to an employee who did a terrible job but had tried to be loyal ? I am so torn . She continues to be nice and kindly over-bearing , but she is an irritant . And she has stayed absolutely as long as she can. I think with the notion that I might hire her back . I know I have to say goodbue strongly , but I don't want to hurt her feeling. Still she has to go . How can I make that clear without being mean ?
Resistant Boss
Dear Resistant Boss ,
It sounds as if you and your employee have an unhealthy bond , one that goes far deeper than the work at hand . You call her "kindly overbearing." I wonder what exactly that means.
You, as the boss , need to be clear about the en d of your employee's tenure . Thank her for her service . Bid her the best of uck as she moves on in her career. And clearly say goodbye .
As far as the other side of your relationship , acknowledge whatever it is that is tugging at you to remain connected to her . Assure her that you care about her and want her to do well in life . You may want to think about this turning point as the baby bird leaving the nest . Since you are prepared to take care of this woman long-term ... and you shouldn't be ... urge her to fly into the next phase of her life will be . That is not mean . It is liberating .
Maxy
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Dear Maxy ,
I trust my kids to do the right thing . This is what I have been teaching them since they was little .
And this is why I was so surprised to see that my son , who is 12 , bought up quite a few video games on my iPad without my premission . Yes , he had my password in order to get on iPad and to get into iTunes , but it has been years and he never did anything like that before .
I notice the iTunes charges when I got my credit card bill . I was so upset . When I asked him about it , he didn't think it was a big deal . How can I get the point across that buying something without my premission is a violation of trust .
Angry Mom
Dear Angry Mom ,
Passwords exist for a reason ... priarily so you can control how your account account is used . I'm not sure it's wise to allow your 12-year-old access to your password . But since you have , change your password and tell your son that as a purnishment , he now mush ask for premission whenever he wants to use your iPad . Also change your iTunes password so he can't go in get free or paid apps . He will likely be outraged at being cut off . That should serve as a good lesson .
Maxy
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Dear Maxy ,
The facts about tobacco use are startling . Every day , nearly 4,000 kids under the age of 18 try their first cigarette , and another 1,000 become regular smokers . To hook these kids , tobacco companies spend billions of dollars each year targeting kids like me with advertising near schools and malls , and they even alter their deadly products to look and taste like candy ! They also oppose efforts to make it more difficult for kids to obtain cigarettes , like tobacco tax increases and smoke -free laws .
With almost 20 percent of high school students who are current smokers , we need a change , and it needs to be both youth led and adult supported . Gigarette companies cannot survive unless kids smoke , so I am thankful to be working with the campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids as a young advocate to fight to reduce tobacco use and its devastating consequences on youth .
Your readers can get involved by visiting http://tobaccofreekids.org to learn more about what is being done in their community and how ... Judy Hou , The Virginia foundation for Healthy youth , Richmond , Va.
Healthy Youth
Daer Judy Hou ,
Many thanks for your terrific letter . I hope it will inspire readers to become involved , as well as convince others not to take that first puff . Smoking kills , and it can harm those around you . If you already smoke , please quit . It doesn't make you cool , it makes you stink .
Maxy

Pippa Middleton : In Car With Smirking Pals "WTF"

Prince William's sexy sister-in-law was last night facin a grilling by outraged cops over the antics in Paris ... as it reels from a series of gun massacres across France .

Three male chums were with her in an Audie convertible .

The drive took out the weapon and brandished it in broad daylight .

He waved it in the air and pointed it at a photographer ... whose snaps show the chilling moment the barrel of what looks like a semi-automatic stared straight down his lens .

Pippa , 27 , ... sister of future Queen Kate , 30 ... is clearly seen in the front passenger seat . Pippa Middleton ... may face arrestFlynet .

Last night the Paris Judicial Police was poised to launch a probe .. as a source revealed Pippia faces ARREST amid a gun clampdown .

The Sun was told : "If the evidence points to her involvement , she will be prosecuted . Anybody involved in the illegal use of a handgun in piblic is liable to arrest and interrogation . The source confirmed that if the gun was REAL , branshing it in a public place is punishable by up to seven years' jail "for all parties involved."

Even if it was FAKE the maximum jail term is two years . The source said : "Certianly if you were in a car and knew someone was using a gun to warn people off you'd be liable to arrest."

Not funny , Pippa ... Kate's sister sees chum take out gun as car pals grin .

Last night the French photographer was 'considering his options " over making a former complaint .

Pippa was understood to have been in Paris for a weekend fancy dress party .... weeks after three kids was shoot among seven people shot dead in Toulouse .

Taking aim ... the driver of the convertible levels weapon at XPOSUREPHOTOS.COM . A security sourse said : "Waving a weapon in public is not illegal ... it's incredibly stupid ."

******My View ... By Duncan Larcombe , Royal Editor .*********
PIPPA's role in this unfortunate incident will send shockwaves through the Palace .
So far Kate and Pippa have enjoyed a flawless year as the anniversary of the Royal Wedding approaches .
If lagal proceeding follow , Pippa will have inadvertently dragged the Royal Family into a major row .
Now she is the most talked- about ... and most photographed ... women on the planet , men will inevitable show off to try to catch her eye . But Pippa must start showing Better judgement .

[UPDATE]
Pippa Middleton could be quizzed by police after she was pictured in a car with a group of friends , one of whom pointed a 'gun' at paparazzi .

The incident occurred in Paris this weekend , just weeks after France was rocked by a series of gun massacre .

It is not known if the weapon is real or a toy , but last night the Paris Judical Police were said to be poised to investigate . Pippa was in the French capital attending a fancy dress party with friends .

A source told the newspaper : "If the evidence points to her involvement , Pippa will be prosecuted . Anybody involved in the illegal use of a handgun in public is liable to arrest and interrogation ."

Even if the gun is found to be a fake , Pippa , 27 , could still face a maximum jail sentence of two years .
The source added : "Certainly if you was in a car and knew somebody was using a gun to warn people off you'd be liable to arrest ."

The photogragher who took the shot is said to be considering whether to make a formal police complaint .

Last month a gunman on a motorbike opened fire outside a Jewish school in Toulouse , France , killing three children and a rabbi . Two soldiers were also killed and one was wounded in a further attack at a military base in Montauban .

Kids Say The Darndest Things 'My Pet Stories'

Kids love to talk about their pets and with characteristic freedom, they weave many a fanciful tale of improbable going on ... If they don't have a pet , they blithely make one up ... lets take a look at a few .

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*** One young man gravely assured me he had a pet . "A Horse." Where does he lived ?

"He sleeps with me ."

*** "In the bedroom ?"

"Of course !"

*** What does he do when you go to school ?

"He gives free rides to my brother ."

*** He couldn't be stumped . Who knows ? Maybe he does sleep with a horse .

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*** The subject of pedigrees is usually a challenging puzzler for kids . They usually don't know what a pedigree is ... their imagination runs wild .

*** You have any brothers or sisters ?

"One brother , but he is a cat ."

*** What's his name ?

"Socrates ."

*** "Does he have a pedigree ?"

"No , it died last year ."

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*** " You have a pet dog , is it pedigreed ?"

I think she lost her pegigree last week , my dad said she was in heat .

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One Boy said , I used to have a cat name Susie Q.

*** What happen to her /

It's a him .

*** A him named Susie Q/ Well , anyway what happened to him ?

He was chasing a mouse and he ran into a tree and was so ashamed he ran away .

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*** Have you any pets ?

No.

*** Ever have any ?

No .

*** Want any ?

No .

*** Why not ?

Because they make you scratch .

*** How do you know if you never had a pet ?

Because I had a friend who had a dog , and he gave the brother fleas , the daddy got fleas , the mother fleas , and so then the baby got fleas and now they all just sit around scratching .

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*** Every boy should own his own dog . Don't you agree ?

I do . But my dad don't .

*** What does your dad think ?

He doesn't think , he knows . Because we have a dog that bites .

*** What does he bite ?

Mouses , cats , newspapers and sometime Daddy .

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*** What do you like best ?

Collect pets and boyfriends .

*** How many do you have ?

Five .

*** Pets ?

No . Boyfriends .

*** How do you get so many ?

Oh , their families move into the neighborhood and I grab them .

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*** Got a pet ?

I've got a dog .

*** Is that all ?

Yep .

*** Didn't you used to have something else ? Like a turtle ?

Oh . Once we had a turtle . But my brother flushed him down the toliet .

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*** Do you have any pets ?

Yes ... chickens .

*** Have you taught them any tricks ?

Yes .

*** What ?

I taught the rooster to chase the hens .

Make a Ruffled Skirt From a Tee Shirt

For the base of the skirt I started out with this flowy top which I got from Target a few years ago. It has seen better days.

I carefully cut off the sleeves and the top portion off.

I ended up with a skirt base

Then I dug up some old t shirts, most of them were my hubby's old work t shirts which he put in the donate pile.

I cut three inch wide strips

I do not show you how to ruffle fabric since there are so many tutorials out there.

But I ruffled all of the strips

I sewed on the top ruffle and then I sewed on this trim I had on hand

Then I marked where I wanted the strips to go and went to work sewing them on.

Whew. All done

LOVE it!

Total cost: $0.00!

How to Make a Dress From a Tee Shirt

Kitchen Garbage Can

Kitchen garbage containers are usually very ugly and the best approach is usually to buy a small plastic container that will fit under the sink. However, after pondering this problem for a while, I came to the conclusion that there was absolutely no reason why garbage cans cannot be made out of wood. The result was this wooden garbage can. Having completed the project, I then passed it over to my wife who painted and varnished it. Although the project looks complex, it can easily be completed in one weekend and involves no special skills or joints.

Construction

Tools Required: Jigsaw, Sander, Router (optional as it is only needed for the lid), Circular saw (optional, but useful for cutting the straight lines)

Wood Required:

Description	Qty	Width	Length	Thickness
Sides (plywood)	2	11 3/4" (298 mm)	30 (762 mm)	1/2" (13 mm)
Front/Back (plywood)	2	13 3/4" (349 mm)	30 (762 mm)	1/2" (13 mm)
Base (plywood)	1	9" (235 mm)	8" (267 mm)	1/2" (13 mm)
Side edging	4	2 1/2" (64 mm)	28 1/4" (718 mm)	1/2" (13 mm)
Front/Back edging	4	3" (76 mm)	28 1/4" 718 mm)	1/2" (13 mm)
Side base edging	2	3 1/2" (89 mm)	5" (127 mm)	1/2" (13 mm)
Front/back base edging	2	3 1/2" (89 mm)	6" (152 mm)	1/2" (13 mm)
Lid sides	2	4" (102 mm)	12 1/2" (318 mm)	1/2" (13 mm)
Lid front/back	2	4" (102 mm)	14 3/4" (375 mm)	1/2" (13 mm)
Lid top (sides)	2	1 1/2" (38 mm)	12 3/4" (324 mm)	3/4" (19 mm)
Lid top (front/back)	2	1 1/2" (38 mm)	14" (356 mm)	3/4" (19 mm)
Lid	1	11 1/4" (286 mm)	12 1/4" (311 mm)	3/4" (19 mm)

Note: The plywood used is birch ply (i.e., the top level of the plywood is a birch veneer). When wood type is not mentioned use Pine.
 
First, cut the side and front/back plywood to shape. As you can see from the photographs, the garbage can is tapered towards the base and it is necessary to cut the side and front/back pieces of plywood to this shape.

The side pieces should be 30" (762 mm) high, 11 3/4" (298 mm) wide at the top and 8 3/4" (222 mm) wide at the base (therefore, in 1 1/2" (38 mm) from each side so that the taper matches on both sides).

The front/back pieces should be 30" (762 mm) high, 13 3/4" (349 mm) wide at the top and 11" (279 mm) wide at the base (therefore, in 1 7/8" (48 mm) from each side so that the taper matches on both sides).

Note that the front/back of the garbage can is slightly wider than the sides. You can alternatively make the unit square, but the approach used here allows the garbage can to be placed in narrower spaces (a typical problem in a kitchen).

Once you have cut the front/back and side pieces to shape. Glue and nail them together, ensuring that the joint between them is square. The result should be the basic shape of the garbage can. The side pieces should overlap the front/back pieces.

The add the base piece. To do this, cut it to the correct size of 9" x 8" (229 mm x 203 mm) with an angled edge (15 degrees). This involves using a circular saw that can cut miters. However, the alternative approach is to simply cut the piece normally (same dimensions). While the result won't be quite as neat, no one will be able to see it. The base piece should be dropped into the unit from the top and should wedge in position 3/4" above the base of the garbage can.

Now we need to work on the edging pieces. In this particular version of the project, I adopted a distinctive angular approach as I wanted a south western feel to the project (hence the distinctive coloring on the finished project). An alternative suggestion is to use flowing curves instead. Sketch out the rough curve on one of the front/back pieces and then cut out using a jigsaw. Note that the front/back edging pieces are 1/2" (13 mm) wider than the side edging pieces. This is because the front/back pieces overlap the ends of the side pieces (see diagram). Remember that the sides of the garbage can are at an angle (approximately 15 degrees) and the top and bottom of the edging strips must be cut to this angle.

Once you have cut out the shape on one of the edging strips, use this as a template for all of the others so that you can ensure a uniform look and feel to the project. When marking out the side edging strips, remember that they need to be 1/2" (13 mm) narrower.

Once you have cut out all eight edging strips, glue and nail (using small panel pins) the edging strips to the main plywood unit. Remember that the front/back edging pieces should overlap the side pieces. Then add in the base edging pieces (again, cutting the pattern into them first).

The lid unit construction

The lid construction is designed to pull off, allowing a plastic bin liner to be placed in the main unit. When the lid unit is put back on it stops the bin liner from slipping.

To construct the lid unit, firstly cut the side and front/back pieces to the correct lengths. As before, the front/back pieces will overlap the ends of the side pieces. Once cut to the correct length, cut the pieces to the desired shape. Note that for the first 3" (76 mm) in from either side, the lid unit will overhang the side edging pieces of the main unit. Because of this, the first 3" should be cut to a depth of 2 3/4" (70 mm) and left straight (i.e. no pattern), as shown in the diagram. Note that the lid unit is not angled, but instead sits vertically. If you angle the lid construction, you will not be able to slide it on or off the main unit. Because of this, when the lid construction is sitting on the main unit, the lower part of the lid unit overhangs the base unit. This adds to the design, giving it another dimension.

Once you have cut all four pieces, glue and nail them together, ensuring that the construction is square. You can then attach the front/back and side lid top pieces. Note that these are cut to a 45 degree angle so that they butt up against each other neatly (again, see diagram).

Once this is done, you just need to make the actual lid itself. This is an optional construction as some people prefer not to have a lid on the garbage can. The lid is made from a piece of 3/4" (19 mm) thick pine that is 11 1/4" x 12 1/4" (286 mm x 311 mm). Using a router, cut a lip that is 1/4" (6 mm) deep and 3/4" (19 mm) wide all around the underside of the lid. this will allow the lid to rest on top of the lid unit without slipping. Once this is done, round off the edge of the lid, using either a router of by sanding. Finally, add a drawer knob to the center of the lid.

Sand the construction thoroughly. In addition, use a nail punch (or an old nail) to hammer the nails in a little more, so that they are below the surface of the wood. Use wood filler to fill the small hole above the nail. Paint and varnish the unit as desired.

Ouch

I'm no doctor but I think the bull just unmanned the poor bloke

 

Ain't it the Truth ??

MARRIAGE CHANGES EVERYTHING

Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
Is it okay to tell a woman that her husband had a three year affair ? I have ample proff because the 'Other Woman' happens to be a dear friend of mine .
The husband is the most selfish person I have ever met . If it was me , I would absolutely want to know . However , I understand that not all women are like me .
The 'Other Woman' would rather not speak up , although she would tell the truth if asked . However , I believe that ship has sailed . The wife once had suspicions , but her manipulative husband managed to convince her otherwise . So , should I tell her or not ?
Unsure
Dear Unsure ,
Some women can live with the illusion that their husbands are faithful even if they suspect otherwise , but having the truth shoved in their faces makes them angry ... and not with their husband , but with the messenger . You obviously don't like this man and would loved to see him suffer , but the news would mostly hurt his wife . If there is a chance she has contracted an STD from her philandering husband , she should be told ... otherwise stay out of it .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

I have been staying with a person who I think has obsessive-compulsive disorder . She was gracious enough to allow me to stay in her house while I needed to be in her c ity . I've been dealing with some issues and have limited resources . But , it's getting crazy .

If I move a pencil on the desk , she puts it back . If I movethe soap in the bathroom , she's johnny -on-the-spot , puyying it back . I feel like I'm walking on egg-shells . and I don't think it's worth it .

Another friend has offered to let me stay with her , but I don't want to upset the woman who has been so nice to me .

Reluctant Roommate

Dear Reluctant Roommate ,

Thank your roommate for her hospitality . Move out and stay where you will feel more at ease .

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

I cannot believe the gall of some of the retired people in my area . Some white-haired guy actually tried to muscle his way in front of me in the chec kout line today . My items were already on the belt , and people in front of me were paying when I looked up and this old white-haired guy behind me says , "I'm just going in front of you" ... not , "May I"? or "Would you mind?"

Just because you are retired or old does not give you the right to do whatever you want . You should be offering to let the working people of the world go in front of you . After all , we support your butt by paying Social Security taxes ... something that probably won't exist when I retire .

Shopper

Dear Shopper ,

Feel better now ? Heres my best suggestion ; No one should be rude to others or expect to jump in line . Those who can manage , please try to go at less busy times to banks , post offices and other places that are only open during business hours . The rest of you , please be tolerant .

Maxy

Gene Mutation Increases Risk of Autism

Scientists believe they may have discovered a specific gene mutation that increases the risk of a child developing autism. Three independent teams of scientists -- from Yale, Harvard and the University of Washington in Seattle -- are in agreement, for the first time, that there is a specific gene mutation that increases the risk of a child developing autism.

The gene mutation the researchers have pinpointed, called de novo, only makes up a minuscule percentage of autism cases, but the discovery is progress nonetheless. The decades-long debate about biological versus environmental triggers was finally given some clarity, even if only for this small group of children. From these findings, the scientists have been able to establish a strategic plan for how to further increase their knowledge about the biological basis of autism, a disease that affects as many as one in every 150 children in Canada, according to Autism Speaks

"These studies aren't so much a breakthrough, because we knew this was coming," Jonathan Sebat, a professor of psychiatry and cellular and molecular medicine at the University of California, San Diego, tells the New York Times. "But I'd say it's a turning point. We now have a reliable way forward, and I think it's fair to expect that we will find 20, 30, maybe more such mutations in the next year or two."

Such discoveries could eventually account for 15 or 20 per cent of all instances of autism, and by comparing these different mutations, researchers are hoping to identify patterns and form some further conclusions. According to Benjamin Neale, an assistant in genetics at Massachusetts General Hospital, the challenge will be figuring out which de novo mutations might increase risk for autism. Most people have at least one of these gene mutations, he says.

"We want to know what genetic risk factors predispose toward autism so we can improve prediction,"

Another commonality between the three research teams was their hypotheses that the older the parent, the higher the risk of de novo mutations in their children. This was especially the case in fathers 35 and older. Older male sperm is subject to small, perhaps random glitches that in rare cases effect brain development.

The researchers are hopeful that this initial discovery is just the beginning of a much larger breakthrough.

Fruit Filled Cinnamon Rolls

A biscuit dough that is quick to make lets you bake up a batch of these absolutely delicious cinnamon rolls in a fraction of the time traditional ones take. The Milk, dried fruit filling and whole grains add great texture and good nutrition!

Filling/Topping:

6 tbsp (90 ml) packed brown sugar, divided

1 tsp (5 ml) ground cinnamon

3 tbsp (45 ml) butter, melted

1 1/2 cups (375 ml) chopped mixed dried fruit (apples, raisins, pears, cherries, apricots)

Dough:

1 1/2 cups (375 ml) whole wheat flour

1 cup (250 ml) all-purpose flour

1 cup (250 ml) quick-cooking rolled oats

1/4 cup (50 ml) packed brown sugar

1 tbsp (15 ml) baking powder

1/2 tsp (2 ml) ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp (1 ml) salt

1/2 cup (125 ml) cold butter, cut into cubes

1 cup (250 ml) Milk

Icing sugar

Instructions

Preheat oven to 400°F (200°C). Butter an 8-inch (20 cm) glass baking dish.
Filling: In a bowl, combine 1/4 cup (50 mL) of the brown sugar, cinnamon and butter until blended. Set aside.
Dough: In a large bowl, combine all-purpose flour, whole wheat flour, oats, brown sugar, baking powder, cinnamon and salt. Using a pastry blender or two knives, cut in butter until crumbly. Pour in Milk and stir with a fork until a soft dough forms.
Turn out onto a floured surface and knead lightly until smooth. Keeping surface floured, roll out to a 16 x 10-inch (40 x 25 cm) rectangle. Spread filling over top, leaving a 1 inch (2.5 cm) border along long edge furthest from you; sprinkle fruit evenly over top. Starting at long edge closest to you, roll up jelly-roll style; pinch seam to seal. Using a serrated knife, cut into 9 slices. Place in prepared dish; sprinkle with remaining brown sugar.
Bake for 35 to 40 min or until golden brown. Let cool until just warm. Dust with icing sugar just before serving.

Tips

Cooking Tip: Keeping the butter and Milk cold before preparing the dough makes for extra-tender and flaky.
Tip for Kids: Kids can make the filling, roll the dough and spread the filling and fruit on top. Parents can help younger children roll up the filled dough.
For the Adventurous: Add 2 tbsp (30 mL) minced crystallized ginger with the dried fruit and/or decorate with a cinnamon icing: sift 1/2 cup (125 mL) icing sugar and 1/4 tsp (1 mL) ground cinnamon into a bowl; gradually whisk in about 1 tbsp (15 mL) Milk or just enough to make a thin icing. Drizzle over warm buns instead of sprinkling with icing sugar.

Kids Say The Darndest Things 'Kids Are Wonderful'

There's nothing that makes a grownup glow with more comfortable self-righteousness than looking back on his / her on childhood and remembering how perfect it was ... in spite of everything ... lets take a look at our wonderful kid's thoughts.

****************************************************************************

*** What your dad do for a living ?

"He has a funny kind of job downtown in a big hotel ."

*** What do you mean funny kind of job ?

"Well he's in charge of horserac ing . I think they call him a bookkeeper ."

*** **************************************************************************

*** A sevenyear-pld showed remarkable judgement in the discussion of secretaries .

*** What do you think a boss would like to have most ; A pretty one or a smart one ?

"It depends on wheather the boss is married ."

*** What do you mean ?

"Well, if he's married he'd pick a smart one .

*** What if you was married , what kind of secretary would you pick for your husband ?

"Well , first of all , she'd be at least forty-five-o;d , she'd be a brunette and wear glasses , high collars , no lipstick , she'd wear black cotton stockings and be fat ."

**************************************************************************

*** What do you do in the afternoon when you come home from school ?

I have to take a rest .

*** That's good , isn't it ?

Oh yes , I lie down on the couch and pretend I'm surrounded by Indians that is on the warpath and want to scalp me and kidnap my sister .

*** Do you get much rest that way ?

No , but I have a lot of fun .

*************************************************************************

*** What do you like to do best ?

Catch jackrabbits .

*** How do you do that ?

I just stand still like a statue and when a rabbit walks by I grab him by the ears .

*** Catch many ?

Just one so far .

*** Where is he now ?

Under the house having babies .

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*** What is the funniest thing you ever saw .

My mother's night gown . She has a man's face sort of painted all over the front . And when she walks around the bedroom , the eyes roll around and watch me .

**************************************************************************

*** Who would you pick for a famous parent for a day ?

Jimmy Durante and Mariyn Monroe ( quickly answered the nine year old boy ).

*** Why ?

Jimmy Durante is funny , and Marilyn Monroe ... Say , haven't you seen that calendar ?

**************************************************************************

*** Why was you picked to come here today ?

Because my teacher says I have a vivid imagination .

*** What do you want to do when you grow up ?

Be a secretary .

*** Then What ?

Get married .

*** What do you think makes a good husband ?

Someone who brings home presents all the time and doesn't drink .

*** You are lunching with us today , what will you order ?

Filet mignon and champagne .

*** Champagne ! And you're going to marry a man that doesn't drink , that is a vivid imagination !

Well , I'm not married yet .

Fat Fighter....Raspberry Ketone

Dr. Oz recently tooted the fat fighting benefits of raspberry ketone in one of his television show episodes. It's flying off the shelves on both sides of the border. Dr. Oz calls it the No. 1 miracle in a bottle. Raspberry ketone (RK) is the latest-and-greatest fat-burning elixir to hit health stores.

Daytime television's favourite doctor, Dr. Mehmet Oz, recently praised raspberry ketone supplements for its metabolism-boosting, fat-burning properties, claiming it is great for fighting belly fat.

According to The Dr. Oz show website:

"Raspberry ketone is the primary aroma compound of red raspberries, and is a safe and healthy supplement with no side effects. This compound regulates adiponectin, a hormone that causes your body too boost metabolism. In turn, the fat within your cells gets broken up more effectively, helping your body burn fat faster and more efficiently. In order to get enough ketone to have an effect on the way your body burns its excess fat, you would need to consume 90 pounds of raspberries! But, just 100mg of the supplement per day is enough to get your body burning fat the way you want it to."

Thanks to Oz's televised endorsement, health stores can't keep enough in stock. It might be safe, but is it effective? No one really knows. So far, only two minor studies on raspberry ketone have been conducted — one in 2005 and another in 2010 — and neither included human trials. Both studies found that when high doses of raspberry ketone were added to the high-fat diets of lab mice, the mice had increased metabolisms and were less likely to gain weight.
Dr. Robert Lustig, a neuroendocrinologist and professor of pediatrics at the University of California, criticized the current research on raspberry keytone in an email to Huffington Post. He suggests the leap from mice trials to the assumption that raspberry ketone is a weight loss fix for human is inaccurate.
"Raspberry ketone might make 3T3L1 cells engage in lipolysis, but that is a far cry from doing it in humans," he writes.
Health Canada currently only categorizes raspberry ketone as a flavour enhancer. But who knows sister friends, this may be the magic slimness elixer we have all been waiting for. Be patient.