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Thursday, September 22, 2011

Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,
A friend of mine just got married , and I learned about it on Facebook . Granted , we aren't super close , but it was weird to see her posting that said her relationship status had changed . And then suddenly she was married . I have no right to feel offended since we weren't close like that . But I think it's weird that she used a social media to announce something so serious .
Dear Mary ,
I understand why you feel uncomfortable about  learning of your friend's marriage  via social media . At the same time , I recognize that Facebook is an effective tool for delivering information . Rather than begrudging your friend , be happy with the information you have obtained. Congratulate your friend  via Facebook . If you want to have personal interaction with her , ask her can you get together to celebrate .

Dear Maxy,
My 40-year-old daughter and her two young children live with me . Her husband is in and out of prison  and she relies on me for help .
I also have an 18-year-old daughter with a baby living under my roof not to mention a third daughter who is visiting for a month with her five kids .
I'm fed up and what to be left alone . I plan to sell my home , move to a senior apartment and maybe travel . I don't want them to follow me . I think that is the only way to get rid of them. I assure you they will never leave on their own.
Am I obligated to provide child care and housing forever ?
Dear Debbie ,
Of course not . Let your kids know you are selling the house and moving into a much smaller place and they will have to find other  housing arrangements . I hope you enjoy your travels. It sounds like you deserve a break .

Dear Maxy,
A"good" friend of mine seems to be avoiding me , and I'm not sure what to do . We got together a few weeks ago and had a fantastic time . It even got a little cozy between us . Ever since then , he has been  MIA. When I called him , he was very short with me on the phone . I don't think I did anything wrong . We just had fun together . But now it's just weird . How can I find out what's wrong or fix it so that we are back in communication ?
Dear Martha,
Back off for now . Whatever happened or didn't happen , clearly he is not interested or able to talk about it right now . Reaching out to him is not resulting in what you desire , so stop . He is going to have to come to you to get any type of resolution .
Who knows ? Maybe the coziness you mentioned made him uncomfortable after the fact . For sure , he is not interested in connecting with you now . As much as that may hurt your feelings , you have to see it for what it is . Continuing to try to get him to respond to you can begin to look like desperation . And trust me , desperation is an immediate turnoff.

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