Ask Maxy

  

Dear Maxy,

My assistant is addicted to facebook . He is constantly trolling there and online in general . Recently , I noticed that he is very actively friending all of mt Facebook friends . Sometimes he even askes to friend someone who is a recent business contact of mine BEFORE I have done so . By the way , I am a very active FB user .

I think this is kind of creepy . It definitely is crossing the line , I believe, as to what is appropriate . How should I handle this ?

Shirley

Dear Shirley,

Many business owners are recognizing that they have to create social media guildlines for their staffs , and that encludes rules about engaging clients via social media . It sounds as if you need to address this with your assistant . Let him know that you are uncomfortable with his aggressive outreach to your clients and contacts . Decide what your rules will be about extending invitations and share them with him. Also , define how much time each day you will allow him to use the internet at work .

There is a fine line here , because you do need to have aomeone who is adept at surfing the internet when you want to find something . But too much engagement derails productivity .

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

Whenever my family visits another family who are friends with us , we have to endure some serious sibling rivalry . It sometimes gets so bad that our only child gets caught in the middle .

Just recently we spent time together and the parents ended up being referees the whole time as the kids argued and pushed each other's buttons . I definitely know that the parents aren't ignoring their kids' behavior , but I'm  not sure how to better handle this situation the next time we get together . We all talked about it at one point . They weren't hiding the challengers before them . We all  really like each other , but the bickering and jockeying for position are exhausting . How can we better handle this ?

Barb- exhausted in Ohio

Dear Barb,

Find out if your child wants to go back to visit . If so , you should speaks to the parents in advance and express your concern about the children dynamics . Suggest than they plan formal activities that will keep the children busy .

If there are four children , they can divide up in pairs at different times .

Commit to being active participants in managing the childrens relationships . You may be able to teach them how to get along better . But you must remain vigilant and not  leave them alone.

Maxy

Dear Maxy,

I am so embarrassed. I get so tired when I come home from work that I sometimes I let my school-age children watch whatever I am watching on TV . The other day they had some friends over with their parents  and when they started  telling the storyline for a show they had seen previously ... cops and robobbers show ... the mom looked at me horrified . It was not good . I sort of played it off , but the reality is , I do sometimes let my kids watch these shows . How can I fix this ? Seeing  that mom's face made it clear to me how wrong I have been .

Arlene

Dear Arlene ,

The Television has been a reliable baby sitter for the best of parents . And , yes , you can wean yourself and your children off it . let this moment be a wakeup call.

Instead of allowing your children to watch violent television programs , give them other activities . It means that you will have to turn off the TV entirely and decide that the family deserves to do more interesting things . This may include reading and telling stories about what they read , planning outings together , talking about your day , etc .

Decide  tpgether that you will enjoyone another's company . Don't worry about  saying anything to the mom in question . Prove to yourself and your children that  great experiences are yours for the taking ... by taking them.

Maxy