Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,

I'm the first  in my family to attend college , and I'm feeling the pressure of being the first . I would like to know what I can do to avoid distractions during my freshman year .

Anthony

Dear Anthony ,

Don't forget where you are  or who you are . Use your refrigerator as your compass . Write your personal affirmations on notes that you post there . Remind yourself that you represent your family . Write your dreams for the future . And look at those affirmations daily.

Maxy

Dear Maxy,

I went out with a guy a few weeks ago . He used to have feeling for me  , and have feeling for him . We ended up kissing during this visit . The only problem is that he has a girlfriend . How should I address this issue ?

Renee

Dear Renee ,

Fellings are one thing ; actions are another . That kiss says a lot , particularly that the flame between the two of you is still alive. It's time to address it directly . Ask your friend if the two of you can get together to  address  it directly .

Express you feeling for him and your concern about your conflicting messages . Tell him what he already knows  - that you care for him but you are not interested in coming between him and his girlfreind . Ask him what his intentions are . If he wants to be with you , he has to take care of first things first , meaning he has to end his current relationship . If that can't happen , the kiss should simply become a memory .

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

My husband and I are in our late 50s . We have noticed that at 99 percent of the medical offices we go to , we are called by our first names  whenever we are called into the inner sanctum.

Whatever happen to titles ? I' not 3-- , I deserve the respect of my age  and position (a paying customer) and wished to be addressed as "Mrs. Schmidt." Not to mention the confusion that results when there is more than one "Barb" or "Bob" is sittijing in the waitin g room.

I'm sorry if my last name might be  difficult to pronounce , but that does not give the medical staff the right to be so familiar with me . Does this bother anyone else ?

Barb  Landrieu

Dear Barb ,

Our culture has become extremely casual , as you  are witnessing . Of course you deserve to be called whatever you choose , but it will probably take some training to get people to address you more formally . You will have to be gently correct with them . If the receptionist or other person calls out , "Barb please go in ," you can respond , please call me "Mrs. Landrieu . Thank you."

It would take vigilance on your part to train people to address you in this way , but it can be done .

Maxy