Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,

One Question ?

Why are females of any species so bossy ?

Gil in Louisiana

Dear Gil,

Because 'Mother' always knows best.

Love Maxy

Dear Maxy,

I was hanging out with a group of friends the other night , and we all got kind of tipsy . At one point , I found  myself flirting with my friens husband . It was so embarrassing , I like him but not like that . I just got carried away in the moment , I was enjoying his attention , and the next thing you know , I was saying suggestive things to him . It all got dispelled right then and there , but I remained embrassed . Do you think I should say something to him or my friend ? I want to clear the air .

Bonita

Dear Bonita ,

I think it's worth saying something to your friend's husband because he's the one with whom you crossed the line . Make it matter-of-fact and simple . Apologize for your inappropriate behavior . Reinforce how much you respect him and his wife , and tell him you will never behave in such a manner again.

Don't try to turn this into a conversation . Unless he immdiately says more , just let it go . Keep your intention too of mind ; that you want to clear the air and that you are truly sorry for your behavior.

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

I had promise to visit my family this summer , but things got in the way and it didn't happen . I feel bad because it has been a few years since we all were together . Mainly , I feel bad that I didn't say anything . I had been trying to work it but lack of finances made it impossible . I guess I was embarrassed to admit that to anyone . My family always expects me to have everything together , but this year I lost my job , and my family and I are struggling to make ends meet.

Although we definitely aren't making the trip this year , do you think I should still say something or just let it go since it's so late in the summer ?

Larry , Pittsburgh

Dear Larry ,

It's time to own up to your commitments . You told your family that you were coming to visit , so you should tell them that you are no longer coming . That way , whatever tension might exist owin g to unresolved expections can simple go away . Sure, someone may be upset primarily because they miss you and were hoping to see you .

You don't necessarily have to get into details of why you and your family aren't able to  travel to be with them . It could suffice to just tell them that you are terribly sorry but you will not be able to visit this year.

Chances are if you speak clearly and directly and honestly , meaning you tell the truth that you hope to be able to come next year , your family will give you some space .

Honesty is powerful.

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

I am a mother of two kids , and one is a teenager . I want to have an open relationship with my children so that they will come to me when they have an issue . I was just wondering how much in terms of sharing with them ? I have some crazy school and college stories .

Amy

Dear Amy ,

Proceed with caution . Over the years , I have learned all kinds of things about my mother and her life that I would never have imagined . I figured out that she shares information with me on a need to know basis.

Yes , our children deserves the truth about our lives . But I recommend avoiding the buddy-buddy to the point that you are telling tales out of school just because it's fun to travel down memory lane .

A word to the wise , tell your children on a need to know basis.

Maxy