Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,

I met Janice' through my son's school . She's a parent of one of his classmates . She would come to my house in the afternoon before picking up her kids . We would enjoy a cup of coffee and talk and laugh.

When tree days went y and I did not hear from her , I began to get worried . She didn't answer her phone or reply to my text messages . Finally she phone and told me to stop calling her and to leave her kids alone. I was in shock . I asked her what was wron g , and she said she had received a letter in her mailbox . She refused to let me get a word in  and hung up . I cried my eyes out.

I asked a mutual friend to find out about that letter . Apparently , someone wrote that she was a bad mother  and told her how to raised her kids . It was signed  "Anonymous." I was stunned that Janice would think I wrote  such a thing . How can I make her understand that I had nothing to do with that stupid letter ? Now she goes out of her way to advoid me in carpool lanes at school . I want our friendship back . What can I do ?

Miss My Friend

Dear Miss My Friend ,

Vicious people who hides behind anonymous notes and phone calls enjoy the havoc they wreak . It is cowardly.

You can text or e-mail Janice , or leave a message on her answering machine or cell phone , saying you didn't write this letter , you cannot imagine who did , and you miss her terribly.

You could also ask mutual friends to intercede on your behalf . If Janice is convinced you are the author , she may not be inclined to believe otherwise.

If she refuses to contact you , there is nothing more you can do . Sorry.

Maxy

Dear Maxy,

There is a girl at my camp who keeps insulting my family . She calls them "stupid , annoying  and low-life losers." I have asked her to stop , but she won't . My parents know , but  aren't much help . I also talked to a counselor  about it , but that didn't work, either.

It is hard sitting there doing nothing . Listening to her makes me so angry . I need to know how to take care of this .

T.T.

Dear T.T. ,

This girl is trying to get a raise out of you . So the best thing to do is ignore her completely , as if you cannot hear her .

You  also should talk to your camp counselor again , if that don't help , ask to speak to the camp administrator about her abusive behavior , and check kidshealth.org for additional tips on dealing with bullies.

Maxy

Dear Maxy,

My parents are strict about dating , and I want to be able to go out more with my boyfriend . I came up with the idea to potentially have a gathering of my boyfriend's family so they can meet and maybe be more at ease with one another . Is this a good idea and how should I handle this ?

Lexi

Dear Lexi,

I like this idea for several reasons . It shows that you are being responsible . It will show that you and your boyfriend are being mature about your relationship . If all the family members meet one another , at the very least it will create the opportunity for greater comfort.

To introduce this idea , be up front with your parents . Let them know that you want them to get to know your boyfriend. You believe he is an honorable guy , and you think they will agree once they get to know him.

Suggest that you host a family get-together so everyone can meet . There's a good chance your parents will appreciate your assertiveness . They will remain strict , of course, but your idea is a step in the right direction.

Maxy