Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
Last year, my son married  a  girl we adore . He and his new wife  live  in the  same  town . But even since  the wedding, he  barely speaks  to us . It's as if  he started  a new  life  and forgot  about his  old  one . He'll  respond  when I call  or  text but he never initiates  contact . He treats  his  siblings the same way, which makes  me sad . The only  way I see  him is when I invite  them  over for  dinner . We got along  fine when he lived at home, so I don't understand  how he has seemingly  forgotten us . I don't know  how to address  this  with him  without  coming across as  rude .
Lonely Mom
Dear Lonely Mom ,
You are  making this an emotional  crisis  and it  doesn't  have to be . Your son still loves  and cares about you . Let  me  explain : When your son lived at home, you saw  him everyday  and contact  didn't  require  any effort  from him . Now that he  lives   away  doesn't  occur  to him to call or  text, because  he  never  had to think about it  before  . He is conditioned  to let everyone  else do the work .
Here's how  to  fix it : Let  him know  how  you miss him  and would love  it if  he'd  remember  to call  or  text  once or  twice a week . But understand that  you'll still  have to do most of the work . Then make  friends  with his wife . Call her . Text her . Ask her  to go shopping  with you or meet  you for lunch . But  also be sure  to give them their  space . While  they are  both  part of  your family, they are first and foremost  a unit  unto  themselves . Not to mention, they are still in the honeymoon phase of their marriage. It's a fact of life that when a son marries Mom takes a back seat but she is still very much in the building.
Maxy

Dear  Maxy ,
My father  was recently hospitalized  because  he had  an allergic  reaction  to a blood pressure  medication  that he had  been taking . One  day out of no where, his  tongued  swelled  up, he couldn't  talk  and  had trouble  swallowing  water . He was taken to the  hospital  and put  on an intravenous  drip for  a few days . It  took him a few  months  to recover . The doctor  recommended  that he should  change  the  medication, but he also needed  to change  his diet  and start exercising . He walks  every day now, but he  continues  to eat poorly . Do you have  any advice  on how to change one's diet .
Scared  for  dad
Dear Scared for  Dad,
Changing  habits  of  any kind  can be extraordinarily  difficult, especially for older people, who have had a lifetime to entrench their habits . You and  your  family  may  want to  sit  down  with your  dad  and scare him into  considering  a  lifestyle  change, kind of like a mini intervention . Tell him  how  much  you love him  and want him to live  for a long time . Offer to  have the whole  family  change  its eating habits  so that you can be healthy  together . Keep trying. He is worth it.
Maxy

Dear  Maxy,
I lost my job  about  6 months ago  and I have recently been  trying  to find a  new one . Before I lost my  job, I was in business  and worked  20 years  . I really need a job  to help support  my family  and my  young  kids . My wife  works, but  I was  always  the primary  supporter  of the family .  My kids  do not realize what happened.  All they know  is that  they cannot  have  all the  toys  that they used  to .  I have applied  for  a few  different positions  and  have even  gotten interviews  with some of the companies  but  after the interviews, they never  call me  back . I thought I was  doing  a good  job .  I dress appropriately  and I have  a lot  of  experience . How  can I present  myself  in a way  that makes  companies  want to  hire me  ?
Need  a  job .
Dear  Need  a Job ,

Follow  up  with the potential  employer  and  human resources  executives  with  whom  you have met . Ask  if they would be willing  to tell you why  they did  not hire  you . Explain that you are interested  in doing  your  best  to present  yourself  effectively  so that future  employers  will see  the  capable  person  you consider  yourself to be .  Be  persistent   about this . If  you can get real feedback  from individuals  who have interviewed  you, you will be able  to look  more closely  at what  you are  doing  right or  wrong . I think a little insight may be the key to your problem.

Maxy