Chuckles...Men Versus Women

"I Love My Wife" bumper stickers are strictly for men who were caught cheating.

 This woman said she recognised me from vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

Women fall in love with what they hear, men fall in love with what they can see, that's why women wear make up and men lie.

 Women find men more attractive when they notice other women looking at him.

If men can't focus on two things at once, then why do women have boobs?

If all men are the same, then why does it take a women so long to choose.

Men cheat on good women with bad women. Women choose bad men over good men. The circle of life.

Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms

The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.

Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder teaching Ray Charles how to drive.

Women don't know what they want, Men never know what they have.

I'd like to give a shout out to all the women who don't need to dress half naked to get a man's attention. Stay classy! The rest of you, come with me.

 My girlfriend asked me to see things from a woman's point of view...so I looked out the kitchen window.

 I asked my wife to let me know next time she has an orgasm but she said that she doesn't like to call me at work.

I love strong, powerful women. They can open jars without my help

So you called me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are part of nature. And nature is beautiful ......so yeah....thanks for the compliment.

90% of women like men in a pink T-Shirt. But ironically, 90% of men in pink T-Shirts don't like women.

 Gossiping has positive effects on women, it elevates levels of progesterone, a hormone that reduces stress and feels good.

God invented high-heels so women could put dishes away on the top shelf.