Dear Maxy ,
My daughter-in-law tends to go to her family . She says she is uncomfortable with my son's side . She has been rude to us since she married my son and she controls him if he does not do what she wants .
My daughter had a fight with my daughter-in-law four years ago and I just woke up to the fact that my daughter-in-law blames us for my daughter's actions . My husband and I tried therapy with my son and daughter-in-law but it made things worse . I left , saying that I am not happy with either of them and I just want to see my grandchildren . My son said that if I don't continue with therapy , I won't see the kids again . They are using the children as weapons to control us .
My new granddaughter had a baptism and my daughter-in-law told us it was only an occasion for her family. We was insulted and hurt . I'm thinking of going to court and suing for grandparents rights.
Trustworthy
Dear Trustworthy ,
Your son and daughter-in-law may not be behaving in a loving way , but there is room for improvement on both sides . They are willing to go for counseling to resolve this , which is a good sign . But waling out on a counseling session because you don't like what you here is not productive . The point of counseling is to work through the issues that get in the way of a better relationship . Please srop trying to get your son to favor you over his wife . If you want to see those grandkids , I urge you to agree to go back for counseling .
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
I recently married a man who is quite wonderful , but he won't help out round the house . We have a child together and I am the breadwinner . When I am not working , I am cleaning the house and picking up after him .
We've had many talks about this and he always agrees to do things when I ask . But I still come home from work and find nothing done and he always has plenty of excuses .
He will be 30 soon . He was not raised this way and his mother has tried to help , but we can't seem to make any progress . What can I do ?
Maid in Demand
Dear Maid ,
Can you afford periodic cleaning help ? Would you be willing to relax your standards ? Could you save the house-cleaning for weekends and make it a joint effort ? Sometimes this is simple a matter of disorganization , in which case a list might work . You cannot force your husband to grow up , but you can help him understand that this type of issue will erode a marriage , making one partner resentful and turning the other into a recalcitrant child . He needs to step up .
Maxy
Dear Maxy,
How do I get my child to practice good hygiene ? My 11-year-old son is going to middle school in the fall . He has a tendency to not take regular showers . I told him multiple time that if he doesn't bathe in a reasonale amount of time , he might be punished or there will be consequencws . I am afraid he will keep up these habits when he gets older .
Dealing with Dirt
Dear Dealing with Dirt ,
Talk to your son about the importance of regularly bathing his body and how it leads to good health . Also , talk to him about his changing body . He is soon to enter puberty , which means he will be developing body hair and will likely devolop body odor if he does nor regularly clean himself .
Educate him on the young man he is becoming . Empower him with information about himself . This may inspire him to bathe a bit more frequently .
You can absolutely also put your foot downabout how often he bathe .
If he refuses , take away privileges that he values , such as video games , TV, Play dates , etc . Figure out what would motivate him to clean up because he would hate to lose aaspect of his daily life .
Maxy
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Thursday, August 22, 2013
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