I have three wonderful young adult children . The oldest 2 girls both recently graduated from college and are living at home working and saving money .
The girls were not particularly interested in dating until recently .
The oldest met a guy at work and has fallen hard . She's always been family oriented , but for the pass three months , all she wants to do is be with this guy 24/7 . She spends most nights at his place and we don't see her at all on the weekends .
This behavior does not sit well with me . I don't think it's a good idea to spend the night with your boyfriend so early in the relationship . I also don't like she ddisregards her family , especially her younger sister with whom she had a special relationship .
My position is , if she's still living at home , she should come home to sleep . She can run round with this guy the rest of the day .
I understand I may have some old fashioned values , but allowing my daughter to live with her boyfriend on a part-time basis shows no respect for my position and is hard for me to swallow . I normally have a great relationship with her , but I haven't seen or spoken to her in more that three weeks .
I'm concerned that if I ask her to have dinner with us more often and spend time wirh rhen family on weekends , she will resent it and it willl make matters worse .Am I out of line ?
be careful , Dad . Your daughter is now a grown woman . The lack of prior dating could be one reason why she is so over the moon for the new boyfriend .You apparently don't object to her having sex . You simply miss the girl she used to be .
It's OK for you to say you don't wish to subsidize her living with her boyfriend , but I hope you will do so in a loving way , letting her know you miss her at dinnertime . But I also recommend you invite the boyfriend to join you for meals and weekend activities . This will not only encourange your daughter's participation , but it will not only encourange your daughter's participation , but it will allow you to get to know the man who may become your son-in-law .
My oldest sister is very selfish . She has three children but never wants to spend time with them . My sister is in her early forties and acts as if she is 16 . She is only concerned with herself and what others can do for her .
She and her husband are always going out and foisting their children on everyone else . When we don't watch her kids , she gets angry and then tells the kids we don't love them . Unfortunately , my sister lives in the same town as my parents . I'll like to visit my folks , but I'll like to avoid my sister . Is that wrong ?
Dear Sibling ,
I know it will be difficult , but I urge you to remain civil to your sister for the sake of her children . They need you . Since you don't live nearby , her selfishness should be manageable in small does on rare occasions . Please try .
Dear Maxy ,
I am in an inter-racial relationship . I date a black woman with kids . We've been together for almost two years and my family doesn't agree with the relationship .
They think we should break up . We really love each other and her family seems to like me and is accepting of the relationship . My family doesn't feel the same way and wishes things was different . I don't know what to do . Any suggestions ?
It is embarrassing to learn that peiople in our country continue to have discriminatory thoughts and feeling about people of other races . I can only imagine how challenging this is for you .
Because it is your family that is against your relationship , I can see how tough it must be for you to build your relationship and have peace .
You need to figure out what you want . If you believe that you , your girlfriend and her children have a future together , claim that and let your family know .
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