Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

The "Maturing Too Fast" ( whose husband wanted their daughter to cut ties with a 9-year-old friend who had started her period) is on the right tract . Please use this as an opportunity to discuss the subject with her daughter !

For a variety of reasons , girls seem to be entering puberty sooner , and the better prepared the daughter is , the less traumatic it may be . Not allowing her to associate wirh her friend anymore is just strange ! Where is this dad coming from ?

Unfortunately with the subject ---I never had "the talk" from them .

I knew bacially nothing about sex or sexual maturity until I was rudley and horribly awakeened to it when I started being abused at age 9 by a trusted person . I had no clue what was going on , only that I thought it was probably wrong .

Not talking about things with your kids doesn't make the subject go away . It only makes it more likely to not include you in the loop of their life .

Been There

Dear Been There ,

Parents should talk to their children about their developing bodies , about boundaries , and about appropriate and in appropriate behavior . Creating dialogue when children are young helps them feel confident about talking to parents about anything as they mature .

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

I went to a party and ran into a woman who had on the same dress as me . I was mortified . Worse still , she wanted to hang out with me all night and take pictures . No way .

I'm not a fashionista or anything , but I do like to have my own style .

Was I wrong not want to hang with her ? She's not my friend or anything . She was aguest at the event just like I was .

Body Double

Dear Body Double ,

I would be uncomfortable if I ran into someone dressed identically to me at a party , and I certainly wouldn't want to become her instant twin as a result . You were perfectly right to want to move on . It could be that the twinning was her way of dealing with an awkward situation .

Your choice to enjoy the party without her was a perfectly fine option as well .

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

I am engaged to an intelligent beautiful , loving woman . We both work work full time and see eye-to-eye about everything . However , we are becoming increasingly frustrated with our four children when it comes to doing their laundry , putting away dirty dishes in the dishwasher , walking the dog , etc.

The kids are between 13 and 21 . We want them to take responsibility for their actions and take pride in their home . We have tried making lists and assigning tasks , punishments and rewards , to no avail . During our most recent conversation with the kids , one said , "It's yoo difficult to remember ." Another said , "You can't make us do it." Two of these kids are working . Any suggestions ?

Frustrated

Dear Frustrated ,

Some children need to be reminded to help around the house , and the reminder has to stick . Mom should tell them that neither you nor she is a servant and they all need to care more for their living space . Any children over 18 should be nicely encouraged to move into their own places , which will highlight their choics . The younger kids should have privileges restricted if they do not follow the house rules . But mom has to enforce these rules , or nothing will change .

Maxy