Our 22-year-old son is in college . He lives at home , and we pay all his expenses , which is fine with us . He was never particularly interested in school until his last year of high school . Now he's doing really well .
The problem is , he gets to go to medical school and needs to pass the MCAT exam . He is studying very hard and barely speaks to us . This is frightening for us . He is our only child , and we are trying very hard to be nice to him , but he dismisses us completely . When he eats dinner with us , he barely answers our questions and gets up as soon as possible . Even when he's watching TV in his room , he locks his door .
It's hard to deal with this . How can we make him understand that success isn't everything ?
Worried Mom
Dear Mom ,
Right now , doing well in school and passing his MCATs are the most important thing in your son's life , he is working hard to achieve his goals . Instead of demanding his attention , try to support his ambition . Keep in mind that you get to see your child more often than many parents whose college-age children are home only during semester breaks (and not always then). And it's harder for him to have the independent , adult life he craves , because he still lives with you .
We know it's difficult that he so uncommunicative , and you can ask him to be civil enough tp respong politely when spoken to . But beyond that , please accept his presence as it is . If it's at all possible for him to live in a dorm room ot get a part-time job to support an apartment , I highly recommend it .
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
My local grocery has carryout service . I tell them I don't need help , but they always assist anyway . Granted , I I look like I need help because I always have my 9-monthold baby and 3-year-old toddler with me .
I realize they are only being kind , but it makes me think I have to tip them a dollar or two . Do I ? How much ? How can I make it clear that I don't want their assistance ? (I always take the cart back to the store . The extra walk is great exercise.)
----J
Dear J,
Groceries that offer to have someone take your bags to your car generally do so as a courtesy to the shoppers , and a tip is not required . If you aren't sure what the policy is for your store , ask the manager . And while you're at it , inquire how to do without this service . Perhaps you simply need to be more forceful when saying , "Absolutely not , thank you very much ."
Maxy
Dear Maxy,
My mother is 84-years-old and lives in another state . My 33-year-old nephew and his three kids live with her , as do my niece , Anna" and her two children . Not one of them has a job .
Several months ago , Mom broke her hip and was in rehab for four months . During that time Anna used Mom's ATM card and took all the money out of her account . She also opened credit cards in Mom's name and ran up huge bills and stole Mom's mail-order pills and sold them on the street .
What's worse is that my sister , the mother of this niece and nephew , insists that I am not permitted to say one negative word to my mother about them .She claims the thievery is between Anna , Mom and God . My mother is scared of all of them . I have called Adult Protective Services , but was told they'd only step in if my mother made a report .
My sister says I need to forgive Anna and let it go . How do I do that ? There has been no accountability , no restitution , no apology . Also , I found out that Mom's good jewelry was pawned for drugs . Any ideas ?
Mad
Dear Mad ,
Adult Protective Services may not be able to step in if Mom appears to be mentally healthy and refuses to cooperate . You sister is trying to protect her children . Shame on her for allowing them to financially abuse their grandmother .
Please try the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116 (eldercare.gov) and ask what assistance is available in Mom's state .
Maxy
My Blog List
-
-
-
-
Go! Go! Greta - Teenage climate change activist Greta Thunberg on Monday opened the United Nations Climate Action Summit with an angry condemnation of world leaders...5 years ago
-
Maxy sez : Why Does Type 2 Diabetes Cause Your Feet to Go Numb? - * High blood sugar that's uncontrolled can lead to serious complications, like pain, numbness, and injury in the feet and legs.* *By Jennifer Laskey **...5 years ago
-
Happy Easter to your family from mine --- Nee - *Easter Holiday* *Easter holiday, is a celebration of the resurrection of Christ!* *Jesus Christ, The Son of God, bled and died for us in a sacrifice.* *T...8 years ago
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Good advice Maxy,
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work.For a dog you are pretty wise. Now tell me how I can teach you to scoop your own poop.
And stop hiding under the couch whenever it's bath time.
Three dog cookies for three good pieces of advice.....The Genie
# 1.. I have a human to scoop up my poop.
ReplyDelete# 2.. It' my nature to want my balls to stay natural , I like the scent when I lick them.
# 3.. Gimme the cookies and mind your own b usiness.
I am hot today .
Dr . Maxy
Smart-ass little dog.I wonder who is egging you on...HA!
ReplyDeleteNo cookies for you...The Genie
Hey...'The Genie' .. I watch you put my cookies / treats under the sink .
ReplyDeleteMy paws can pull the door open with the help of my nose .
Now , my secert is out ... sorry I can't pick them up when they spill . Well I got you to scoop them up too . HA !
Dr Maxy,
ReplyDeleteYou are quite a piece of work.So smart you can open doors, eh?
Well from now on you can open your cans of dog food too. I'm sure you know how to use a canopener.
You can take a hike too. I'll let borrow my umbrella to beat off the coyotes.Hahahahaha!
The Genie
I can do a lot of things that make you love me .
ReplyDeleteI can say Mama .
I got your man to open my can foods... see how I trained him to walk me each evening .
You see my dear I have you trained so well.
As for that old coyote , you will stick that umbrella up his Ass and I will pee on him .
Hahahaha!
Okay you fat little ba****rd I guess I do love you. But if you keep chasing animals into the woods that coyote is going to catch your porky little a** for dinner.
ReplyDeleteG told me to carry a hammer and I am going to try it. You pee on him and I will crack his head like a nut...HA!...The Genie
And tell your friend Sassy she is a bad influence on you.
ReplyDelete[giggles & more giggles]
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha !!!
Don't shoot the messenger...I got my bad influence from you and 'Dad.'
I am rocking hot today .
The Sassy-Ass-Witchy .