Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
My husband and I are having the outs in a big way , but not too many people know . A friend recently asked if he could stay with us for a few days , but it really won't work . My husband is sleeping in the guest room , and there is no other room for sleeping . Of course , our friend doesn't know that . But even if we were to let him stay and my husband temporarily moved back in with me , things would ne tense . We are not in a good place . I don't want to open up our issues to anyone , including this guy . How do I say "no" to him without causing a worse situation ?
Trouble in Paradise
Dear Trouble ,
You have the right to refuse a friend who wants to stay in your home without a detailed explanation . Your responsibitily is to be crystal clear in your answer so that there is no confusion and your friend does not show up at your house . You may want to tell your husband that your friend has asked to stay and how you have chosen to handle it . This may spark a conversation that the two of you need to have . Moving out of the conjugal bedroom is not the same as separation or divorce ... or reconcilation , for that matter . Either with professional support or just between the two of you . It's time for you to talk about the future and for each of to declare what you would like to have happen next . The fruit of your discussion will help you determine appropriate next steps .
Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I have been getting so upset by the political process recently . I hate to say this , but I have never paid attention to politics more than now . But it's a mess . Everyone hates Obama . And the rest are a bunch of nutcases . My friends say the Republicans seem like a freaky sideshow . I wonder what will happen when we go to vote and , more , what will the rest of the world think about America ? We seem to be a crazy mess . How does the average American react to all of this stuff ?
Democracy- Challenged
Democracy- Challenged ,
Know that you are not alone . Many more people are paying attention to the national political system , which is fantastic . I hope all those people will vote.
Hatred of President Obama seems to be twofold ; too many people are still without jobs , which makes it hard to love him , even though he has made many strides . And many voters have decided that , no matter what , Obama is a one term president .
A word to the wise : All voters should vote based on knowledge ... not opinion .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I am 15 and very overweight . I've been this way since I was little . I've tried losing weight , but never seem to keep it off very very long . What bothers me most is the intolerance at school . I hear the fat jokes and the whispers . I don't understand why people can't accept all body types . Nowadays you have to be thin to be considered pretty .I want to feel pretty , too , and know people can like me as I am. Why can't these attitudes be changes ?
Confused
Dear Confused ,
That's an excellent queston . Attitudes like these are culturally entrenched and reinforced by media images . Fat Jokes and nasty whispers are a form of bullying and should be reported to the school authorities .
But we are worried about you . Extra weight can cause all kinds of physical problems . Please talk to your parents and have them make an appointment for you to see your doctor and a nutritionist . Work on being healthy , regardless of your size .
Maxy