Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,

I have a year-old son whom that I love more than anything in the world . My girlfriend , "Karen" and I are trying are trying to be goos parents .

The problem is , Karen and I have broken up several times due to arguments that got out of control . She has a terrible temper . Usually , a month after our breakups , she pulls out all stops to get me back .

Since our son's birth , we've stuck together fight . Twice , Karen  has threathened to take our son and leave.

The fighting is wearing me down . I have considered proposing because I know it will make her happy . And she really is a great mother . But as soon as I consider finding a ring , we end up having another ridiculous fight .

I suggested counseling , although she has agreed , I can't get her to scheduled anything .

Should our son be exposed to our constant fighting and the possibility of a split , or is it better for him to grow up with separated parents who can be civil toward each other ?

Balancing on a Cliff

Dear Cliff,

It's better for kids to grow up in a stable environment with two committed , loving parents . There is still a chance that you can achieve this , but it will require counseling . Don't wait for Karen to schedule an appointment . She is too afraid that a counselor will blame her for all your troubles , and you should assure her that this is not what a good counselor does .

Make an appointment on your own , and ask her to be there . If she refuses , please go without her .

Maxy

Dear Maxy,

All I want to do is get a job so I can have food on the table to feed my family.

Yet , every time I fill out an application , they ask  college . If I don't check the box that says I went to college or intend to go , I don't hear from them .

I am retired and need some extra money because my sons can't find work and they are living at home , along with my granddaughter.

My wife is already working 60 hours a week . How am I going to support all of them if I can't get some extra money ?

Proud Vet Who Can't Find Work

Dear Vet,

You seems to be searching in the wrong places . Many jobs do not require a college degree. While the job market is tight right now , please check out these suggested websites for seniors and retirees who need assistance or training :

retirementjobs.com  ... workforce50.com  ... experienceworks.org .

I hope one of them will steer you in the right direction . Good Luck .

Dear Maxy,

I had a big blowup with my assistant  last week , because she did a thousand things that was sloppy and cost our department a lot of time and money . Later ,with cooler heads , we talked again , and I pointed out what I expect of her to do her job effectively . This week , she has shown no sighs of improvement . She seems to have an attitude  now whenever I ask her to do anything . I was hoping she would rise to the occasion . What can I do to get her to try harder ?

Bev

Dear Bev,

Meet with your assistant and ask her how she's doing . Find out if she thinks she has the tools she needs to do her job effectively , including the knowhow . Ask what you can do to help her improve. Listen carefully , as she probably has a very different perspective about the situation than you do .

Maxy