Ask Maxy

Dear Readers ,
Welcome to 2014 ! I wish each of you health and happiness . I hope  this year is better  than the last and not as good as the next .
Do your best  to make this year  special . Be kinder . Be more  patient . Be more  tolerant . Help  someone in need . Vow  to look  after your health , work out more , eat less junk foods , give up smoking . Turn over  that elusive  new leaf . Put more effort into your relationships and tell people  you love  how much they mean to you . You don't know what tomorrow  will bring  . Lets start this year off right .
Maxy


Dear Maxy,
We always have been encouraged to support our local business  . However , there seems  to be a common  trend  now where  the clerks  often ask for a donation  to a local charity  at the end  of every transaction . I have been solicited  at the grocery store  , the movies  , at fast food  restaurants  and even the bank .
A simple "no thank you" isn't enough , Maxy , I am on a limited income   and already  have determined which charities  will get  whatever extra  money I have  to contribute .
From now on , I am going to shop at those  places that appreciate  my business  and say "thank you"  without expecting  a charitable  donation on top of it .
Tapped Out
Dear Tapped ,
I understand  how annoying  this can be , but charities  are hurting  and this is a relatively harmless way of reminding people  to donate  when they can . Of course , it  would be better  if the business  establishments  didn't make  the patrons  feel they  are being hounded . Asking once  is sufficient , and , "no thank you" should be an acceptable response . Perhaps you could  speak to someone in management  about it .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I am the mother  with two children , both in high school . But I am in love with a man  who is not my husband  of 21 years .
"Harry" is my first love  and he can back into my life  unexpectedly  He is also married .
Neither  of us  is passionate  or loving toward our spouses  anymore . We both feel  we are growing  apart from them  . I am waiting for my children to finish high school  before I make my final move .
My husband still believes we can be a happy couple  , but I don't agree . He is unaware of my affair  , but I can  tell he feels  I'm growing more distant  from him every day .
An additional problem , however is  Harry seems  to go through fits and start talking  about leaving  his large family for me . But his marriage is based on a lie  . Do have any suggestions on what we should do ?
In Love
Dear In Love,
Yes , you should stop  lying  and cheating  and being disrespectful to each other  and to your marriages . If you are unhappy  with your husband  , get counseling  or get out . I suspect  Harry enjoys  the affair  more than he  would a divorce  and you enjoy the romance  and intrigue more  than working  on the day-to-day  responsibilities  of a real marriage .
You have invested 21 years  and have 2 children  . Please see whether  there is something  worth  salvaging  and if so , take  the energy  you are giving Harry  and put it into your marriage .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I plan to ask my girlfriend  of seven years to marry me  . I put the ring  I wanted on layaway . It's a nice simple band  with a big stone .
However  , when we  were talking  about rings  , she mentioned she'd love  a giddy , girly ring with  smaller stones  and a lot of design .
Since I'm the one  who has to buy the ring  and do the asking  , I feel I should get to pick  the style . We can choose  the wedding bands  together .
And if  she changes her mind about marrying me  , she doesn't get to keep the ring right ?
A Little Help
Dear Little,
No , about selecting  the ring , but yes  about returning it .
Your girlfriend  , not you will be wearing the ring  for a long time . Let her pick the style  she prefer  or she may resent  wearing  it . You get to decide  the price  range . As your first lesson  in marriage  , please learn  to listen to the other person  and be accommodating  when you can .
Maxy