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Thursday, November 8, 2012

Ask Maxy


Dear Maxy ,
For anyone  who is having difficulty with their student loans  , please tell them to check  the website www.ibrinfo.org , it lets you know  your rights  and explains the ways to lower payments . It also informs  debtors  about legislation  that affects them .
Been There

Dear Been There ,
Thanks for the information , it may not be for everyone  , but it's worth looking into .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
My in-laws  called and  told me , not my husband , that they are coming  to visit for a month  at the end of the year .They did not ask . They just said  this is how it's going to be  . Never mind that there is five of them  and four of us, and we live in a two-bedroom apartment .
How are we going to manage  this ? I didn't want to say no, nor did I get a chance  to say that . But a month  is too long  for all of us  to coexist  without  some kind of explosion .
Overwhelmed

Dear Overwhelmed ,
Ask your husband  for his input  . Find out  if there is a bed-and-breakfast  or other affordable  lodging  that you can recommend  to them as an option . Call them  back  and tell them  they can visit for a shorter  time .You do not have  to agree with their terms  simply because they asserted  them . Decide  with your husband  what you can manage  and let them know it .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
A few years ago, I met the most amazing man. "Jim" is the love of my life  . I fell in love with his family , too.
The problem is , after  a year of marriage, I recieved a text from my mother-in-law  (Jim's stepmother)  stating that his family has never wanted me around  and they don't like me . I get along fine with Jim's siblings, all of whom lives out of town, and they have assured  me that they do not feel this way .
Jim works away from home  for weeks at a time . When he is away  I am not invited  family outings  the way I am when he is here . Then, I feel uncomfortable  when they do include both of us . I have told Jim  that I will no longer attend his family functions . But is this fair  to him ? Is there  anything  I can do  to recify the situation ?
Should I ask Jim to speak to his father ? I would hate to cut this good man  out of my life .
Hurting

Dear Hurting ,
What a nasty bunch you've married into . Even if Jim's stepmother  is the only one  who dislikes you, the others are following her  directives . Your husband should  make it clear to all of them  that you are his family now, and they should treat you  with respect and consideration , or they risk losing both of you. Meanwhile, have you invited  his siblings  and parents to your home? Hospitality works both ways . Do your best  to ingratiate  yourself  and see whether it helps before you throw in the towel .
Maxy

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