Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,
In the 20 years I've been with my partner, I've had suspicions that he's cheated . Whenever I confront him, he becomes angry and tries to turn it around  on me . I finally decided  I had to know, so I bought  digital voice  recorders and left them  on in the house whenever  I leave for work . Lo and behold, my suspicions were correct .
My problem now is how to confront  him with the proof . I'm not proud that I've been spying on him  for weeks . But he would never  own up to his cheating unless it was indisputable .
He keeps telling me we need to work  on us. How is that possible  when he makes a phone call to his "girlfriend" every morning after I go to work ?
Had To Know

Dear Had to Know,
Your partner's behavior  made you suspicious , so you took the step of finding proof . And you found it . Stop berating yourself  for doing  a private  detective's work . Your partner  is cheating . He will continue  to make excuses  and try to put  the blame on you . Tell him what you discoverd, show him the proof, and tell him it's over with her or you are leaving . And mean it .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I was with my ex-husband for 18-years  before  I divorced him . We have three children, and he hasn't been the best father  or husband . lately , however, he has been nice  and comes around to visit  the kids . I appreciate  the fact that he is doing this, but he is now saying  things to me  that makes me uncomfortable
He slept on my couch  a couple of nights  because he stayed late with the kids  when I was out . But now he is coming every day  and staying over every night . We often end up sleeping together  .
I told him  to stop coming  around  with the expectation  that we  are getting back together, because we are not . But he refuses to listen, and now he he has asked me to marry him again . He won't take "no"  for an answer . What should I do ?
Too Nice

Dear Too Nice ,
Stop sleeping with him . By allowing  him to spend  the night in your bed, you are encouraging  him to believe  there is hope . If you are serious  about keeping  him as an ex-husband, you must put an end  to the couch sleepovers . When you return home, insist that he leave the premises . If you don't have the backbone  for that, drop the kids at his place  instead of letting him  come to yours . Or hire a babysitter .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
How do you stop handle someone  who constantly interrupts ? She always knows more  about a story and makes me feel inadequate . She's loud, abrasive  and obnoxious . We had a good group of friends, and this person ingratiated  herself  into our clique. Only one of the other women  likes her, but it's enough to keep her around . I'd love to put  her in her place, but don't want to cause a rift  with my friends .
Annoyed
 
Dear Annoyed ,
Does she do this wih everyone, or only you ? If it's just you, it could be that you take a long time to get to the point, or you monopolize  conversations  more than you realize . However, if she  does it to  everyone, you can say, "I'm sure you have something to add, but I'd appreciate  it if you let me finish first ." Many  people  who interrupt  don't realize  they are doing  it and need to be reminded  when they overstep .
Maxy