Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,

I'm a woman who wears a wig , and I have artificial nails . Without my wig , I have bald spots, and in some areas my hair is about an inch long . My boyfriend has informed me that , before we take our relationship to the next level , he must see me without my wig and my artificial nails . I am comfortable with removing the nails , but not my wig . I know he will not be content with the "real me," and he may even reconsider our relationship . I need your help fast ! What should I do ?

Sharon

Dear Sharon,

Have you heard of the commitment "through thick and thin?" When you commit to a partner, you are supposed to reveal your true self .

You are supposed to be able to lay bare your soul and your body , and that includes your hair and nails . I understand that you may feeling vulnerable on this topic . This is especially true because you use artificial support to enchance your looks .

Well your partner deserves to see you as you are.

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

I am 16 and regularly baby-sit for a 2-year-old boy and his 5-year-old sister . Both kids are very sweet , although the boy has some behavior  issues . I have addressed them and made it clear that they will not be tolerated while I am baby-sitting .

The problem is their father , he calls the boy  "a little devil" and tells him he is "too feminine and babyish," since he carries a blanket around and plays with dolls .

But he's only two ! Am I overstepping if I discuss this with him? I don't want to lose this job, because I love the kids .

Auburn

Dear Auburn,

Not all parents have an enlightened attitude about child-rearing , and some mistakenly confuse belittling with good parenting . Most parents do not appreciate parenting pointers from teenagers.

However you are in a position to counteract some of 'Dad's ' comments by giving positive feedback to those children when they are in your care . If the situation gets worse , you might speak to the mother about your concerns.

Maxy

Dear Maxy,

I retired 10 years ago and joined a very old and respected craft guild. Several of the members were bullies , I enjoyed the meetings , but after a time , these women made the meeting quite uncomfortable . One woman in particular would block my way and ambush me in the bathroom. Another woman ridiculed me publicly for doing certain charity work.

I since have joined another guild , which is no-nonsense  and would not tolerate bullying activity . The contrast is dramatic .

I miss some of the friends from the former guild , but am happy to be free to attend meeting without the stress.

Happier Now

Dear Happier Now,

Bullying can happen in nearly any social context , including at one's place of employment and in community groups. Fortunately , you had the option to leave.

Maxy