Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,

I believe my sister is in denial about her weight. She is a goo 80 pounds overweight and has been for guite some time . She was recently diagnosed with high blood pressure , and I'm sure that her weight has something to do with it . But she refuses to discuss it with me . Everytime I bring it up , she gets mad and bristles . She says it's none of my business and either shuts down or lashes out at me. I don't mean to hurt her feeling , but I'm worried about her . She is a wonderful person , and I hate to seeing her walking straight toward illness because she's not taking care of her body . How can I get her to see that she needs to do something ?

Brenda

Dear Brenda,

This is a tough situation because you can't make people change . It's just not possible . But don't you have to give it up yet , either . What you can do is select a moment when you two are alone and in a good mood .

Then you can have a heart-to-heart talk with her , expressing your love for her and your concern for her well being . Tell her that you that you want her to be happy and healthy and that if she doesn't do something to reduce her weight , you are worried she will get sicker . She may say nothing after you make this delaration , but at least you will have it said .

Another option is to write her a heart-felt letter expressing the same sentiments . In either instance , you should add that you will be happy to do anything you can to help her . She just has to say the word. Please know that your entreaty may not work . People wake up to their own call to action on their own time.

Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I made a new friend in the past year, and the other day we had an amazing heart-to-heart conversation where we talked about so many personal things. It was awesome , but now I feel weird. I told her things that I have never told anyone . I think she did the same . It felt safe at the moment , but what if we ever stop being friends or something ?
I would just die if she revealed my secrets to anyone . During the conversation , we said how grateful we were for being able to talk so freely with each other . What should I do to make sure that she keeps my secrets safe ?
Emily
Dear Emily ,
Trust that the bond you created with this women is based on honor and integrity . Keep her secrets safe . Tell no one what she revealed to you .If you honor your side of the agreement , you will b e fulfilling your commitment . Believe that she will respect the bond of privacy.
Maxy

Dear Maxy,
What is the appropriate nail color for a wedding ? By the way , I'm the bride ! I want to wear red ! Is this too much ? Also , should it match my lipstick ?
Maya
Dear Maya ,
The most common nail color for brides is in the blush category ... anything from a creamy white to a 'French' manicure .
That said , it's your wedding . Wear what you want . And no , your nails do not have to match your lips !
Maxy