Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I have been married  for  40 years  to a man who had a few affairs  in the  past that I recently  found out about . We are  both seeing  counselors  privately  and together . At this  point  in time, I am tired  of dealing  with this, and our  marriage could well end in divorce  court .
By I am puzzled  by what  my husband  told  me, He said  he learned in his psychology classes in college  that "men are  not designed  for monogamy." I have never heard  him say anything  of the sort in our entire 40 years together  . Is this simply  an excuse  for me to forgive his affairs ? Or is the statement true ?
He tells  me he is done with other women, but now I am not  sure . Should I trust him again ?
Detroit
Dear Detroit ,
There is some support to your  husband's statement, but it  does  not  justify  affairs .Your  husband is not some uncivilized animal with no concern  for his partner . I assume  he is an adult  and capable of control . But I can't promise  he will never  have another affair  and he probably  cannot  promise that either, even if  his intentions  are good . Only  you  can decide  whether  it's worth the risk  after  40 years of  marriage .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
Twice in the past month , I  witnessed  an older  woman  tumble from the top of a moving escalator  all the way to the  bottom, as  store employees  raced to turn it off . In one incident, the shopper was accompanied  by someone who  could  not stop her  fall . In the other, the woman seemed  confused  before the accident, but refused  to use the elevator . To complicate  matters, her only identification was a receipt in her purse, so it  took awhile to  find the man that dropped her  off .
If anyone has a balance problem, use a cane or  walker, has their  arms full  or is  carrying  a  toddler , etc. , please  use the elevator  instead of  the  escalator . The  few  minutes is well worth  it in order  to avoid  a horrifying  accident . And  please  be sure to  carry proper identification in case of an emergency .
Dallas
Dear Dallas ,
Too  many people  don't realize  they have  a problem  until something happens and then, of course, it's too late .  People need to be able  to hold onto the railing of an escalator  and watch  their  step  getting  on and off  . If you aren't  sure  you can do this , please take  the elevator . Better safe  than sorry .
Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I have a friend at work  who often  asks  me  to borrow  a few  dollars  . He always  returns it, so I haven't thought  much of it . But the  other  day when he asked to borrow  something like $20, I didn't  have any cash on me , so I told him I couldn't help him out . He really got mad . He asked  me to go to the ATM  to get the  money  because  he really needed it . I was busy and said I could not  do that . It  got me to thinking : I wonder  what he  needs  these small sums  for all the time . I have decided  I don't  want  to be part  of it ., but I'm  not sure  how to handle  it so that  he stays  calm .
Help !
Dear Help !,
Pull your  friend  to the side and tell him you need to talk . Ask him why he regularly asks  you  for  money . Ask him if everything  is OK  with him  and his  life . Express  your  genuine concern , then draw the  line . Tell that  you will no longer  be able to  spot  him money . Explain that it makes  you uncomfortable  and  you would rather  not have  that type of  relationship with him . State any  regret  that this  change  in your  dynamic  may cause, but make it  crystal-clear  to him that  you will no longer  be a source  of  money .
Maxy