Dear Maxy ,
I've been seeing a guy for little over a year and he's joined the Air Force . He will be starting basic training in the months to come . I've tried to do some research on what military life is like so I can know what to expect when the time comes . I am so nervous . I really like him and believe we have something , but I am afraid .
With all the wars going on , I don't want him to get killed . I don't really know how to be supportive of him when I would rather he not go . How can I be a good girlfriend ?
Baby Don't Go
Dear Baby Don't Go,
Your boyfriend has made a commitment to the Air Force and taken an oath of enlistment. This is something that every service member must adhere to for his/her entire military career; there is no backing out. So, now you have to take a hard look at yourself and figure out how committed you are to him. If you feel the stress and anxiety of being a military girlfriend or wife is too much for you, you should withdraw now. It will be much more painful later, for both of you.
Statistically, the chances of being killed in combat are slim, even for army infantry, which is involved in active combat with the enemy, on the ground. The Air Force has the lowest death rate of any branch of the service.
You can be supportive by writing or emailing every day, sending care packages and keeping that connection strong. Live every moment you have together to the fullest, like there is no tomorrow. Do not dwell on the concept that you might lose one another. Remember, you're going to be the first thing he wants to see when he gets back from boot camp or any kind of deployment. Be there with arms opened wide. If you feel you are ready to invest emotionally in this man, with a view to marriage, there are a lot of things you can do to help yourself adapt to military life:
*Visit your base's Airman and Family Readiness Center. They will have information about local events, support groups and other help available to you.
*Strengthen your personal support network with the people already involved in your life like family, friends, neighbors and co-workers...also your church or synagogue.
*Get involved with your boyfriend's squadron. There will be wives in charge of planning family gatherings. Attend the events, get to know people and get involved in helping out.
*Check online. The Internet is swimming with forums and support groups for Air Force wives. See what you can find. Also try social networking to talk to other women in your situation... like Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Military-Wives-Support-Group/165447216870037
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
My friends lost a child to sudden infant death syndrome several years ago . Every year I remember the anniversary , but I feel weird saying anything to them , so I have not . This year marks the fifth anniversary and something tells me that I should acknowledge it in some way . They have other children now, but I know that they miss their little girl . Should I send them a card or call them or anything ?
Tender Memories
Dear Tender Memories,
You are a good and compassionate friend. There is no time limit on grief. Be it one year, five or a lifetime, the wound will open a little on every anniversary of the little girl's passing. Family often feels that no one remembers their loved one but themselves, so a note or card from you will be greatly appreciated and is most appropriate.
Just speak from the heart and tell them you were thinking of their little one on that day and feeling their sorrow.
You might also explain that you have been a bit nervous about contacting them in previous years for fear of upsetting them. It is a very loving and sweet gesture...go ahead.
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
About a year ago, my very bright 16-year-old granddaughter was diagnosed with schizencephaly, a very rare disease and she has had seizures . She was put on medications and then was free of seizures for eight months . But recently she had another seizure and her medication is being reconsidered .
How can I find out how to be helpful and supportive? She lives 2 hours away and I no longer drive . Is there an organization for this ?
Deeply Concerned Old Grandma
Dear Grandma,
Schizencephaly is a birth defect that is extremely rare and can cause delays in speech and language skills , some paralysis and seizures .
Doctors believe the causes include exposure to toxins or medications during pregnancy . I found one support group at ( schizkidzbuddies.com ) and you can also get information through ( wearerare.org/support/support ) for those with rare diseases. Don't forget to call her frequently and let her know you love her and are thinking of her. Love is good medicine for whatever ails you.
Maxy
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Thursday, September 11, 2014
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Maxy ,
ReplyDeleteYou are very wise . You are helping so many people , Baby don't go and Tender memories is friends of mine , they was happy with the advice you gave them .
Deeply concern grandma , I don't know where she is from , but I showed it to my next door neighbors , because they have a kid with the same illness . They was so happy to learn about those 2 websites .
Maxy , they are believers now and I am the man to go too.
Keep up the good work and I will send everyone with a problem to you .
You have no idea how much trouble or the cost to get the information you give and I told them to get it in as soon as possible . Thanks again
Ardis Whittin
We are so glad Maxy was of help to your friends Ardis. We will work our hardest for anyone you direct to us. Sometimes, all people need is to see their problem through someone else's eyes. The solutions are usually just good common sense.
ReplyDeleteWe thank you for your continued support and friendship.
Genie and Witchy and of course, MAXY