Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,
My sister "Suzie" has always been a bit of a flower child  and my parents think it's funny .
Suzie dropped out of high school  to pursue her "career" in something ... art , music , dance , yoga , whatever .
I usually gave her a place ti stay when she got evicted  and didn't want our parents to know , which was pretty often .
Suzie  and her husband (i'm not sure  whether they are legally married ) have been better since  my nephews was born .
Whay concedrns me is that  she won't take the kids to the doctor  when they get sick .
She just gives them some herbal remedy and sends them to bed .
The boys aren't very clean  , often have sniffles  and are almost  always in clothing the wrong size .
Suzie is homeschooling  the boys  , even though  neither  she nor her husband  graduated  from high school .
My oldest nephew is seven years old  and cannot read  , count to ten  or say his ABCs .
Suzie insists  that the children  be fed only vegan and organic  products .
When the boys stay with us  , which is fairly often lately , we feed them healthy balanced meals  that they wolf  down like they are staerving .
The oldest boy told me  they usually eat oatmeal  with some peanut butter  in it . I believe  both boys are anemic .
The family has on occasion , lived in their car . Suzie recently said they was going to live on the road  for awhile and the boys will adjust .
I think my nephews are being neglected .
She's leaving the boys with me  for two weeks this summer  , and I'm tempted to have  Child Protective Services  eveluate them . My wife agrees . My parents don't . I'm scared Suzie  will bolt with the kids  if she gets wind  of my suspicious . She's done it before .
I want the best for my nephews  . How do I go about it ?
Concern Uncle
Dear Concern Uncle ,
Don't wait until summer . Call Child Protective Services  anoymously  , and ask  them to investigate  the home invironment  now .(You need not inform your parents.) CPS may determine  that the kids  are in a loving , healthy-enough environment , in which case , please stop trying  to wrest control from Suzie  and concentrate  on making  your home a safe  , stable place  for your nephews .
If  CPS determines  that the kids  need to be removed  from Suzie's care  , I hope you will often to take thrm .
Maxy

Dear Maxy, My husband is a kind and gregarious man . We have been married  for more than 25 years . The thing that bothers me is that he has so many females friends . In his line of work , he has to engage a lot of women , so I have always understood that this is a reality of his work life . I feel like there is always another woman calling up asking for his advice  or wanting to come over . There seems to be a constant strem of females in and out .
I suppose I should be grateful   that he doesn't hide them from me . I do not think he is having affairs . I think he enjoys  the attention  and has the reality  of his work to make it  OK . I want my husband to myself  . How can I make this happen ?
Tired of Sharing .
Dear Tired ,
The biggest challenge  you face is that you didn't put the brakes  on the "constant stream of females" for all these years . There is a clear pattern  that exists in your marriage that incorporates  these people . It may be jarring  to your husband  that suddenly , so many years  later you want the door to close .
That said , I believe  that you deserve  to have your husband's attention  more squarely focused on the two  of you  and your marriage . You have to tell him how you feel . Acknowledge  that you have been open to including  these women  in your lives  for so long  , but that you misss him and want to spend  time with him  without sharing his attention . Tell him that there  would be no greater gift  he could give you  than to turn his attention to you .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I'm a senior with two classes left , which I'm finishing online . My graduation  will be in my home state .
My close friend  is graduating as well , and her's is before mine . Of course I'm proud of her , but her graduation party is becoming to consuming  . I said I'd help plan  and handle whatever I can , but now I am back in school .
She has an attitude  because I wasn't able to make it to a cake testing  due to exams and is mad because  I can't take work of the day of her party , even though I'll be there on time . Can you please  give me advice on how to settle this .
Stretched Thin
Dear Stretched Thin,
You need to manage expectations  here . Sit your friend down  and talk to her  about what's going on in the coming days . Let her know how much you love her  and how much you want to support her .
Make it clear  that you can only do so much . Be direct  and specific about how you can help .
Let her know that because you too , are headed toward graduation and finishing  up classes  , your time is limited . Ask her for understanding and support . She may remain  mad , but at least  you will have stated  your situation as clearly as you are able .
Maxy