I have been friends with "Dan" for seven years . For three of them those , we dated and lived together . In the end we decided we didn't work well as a couple and decided to remain friends . Dan is rather arrogent , and even though he has always been there for me , he also has occasionally taken advantage of our friendship .
I began seening "Dennis"two years ago . At one point , I had problems with him and discussed my relationship with Jon . When I admitted this to Dennis , he became quite angry . I am fairly loyal to my friends and like to see the good side of them , but Dennis doesn't like Jon one bit and demanded I choose between them .
Maxy , I know that at the end of the day my boyfriend is the one I want to be with , but dumping my friendship with Jon is causing me such emotion turmoil . I don't like causing other people pain and I'm feeling quilty . Am I doing the right thing ?
Sad and Guilty
Dear Sad ,
Whike I appreciate that Dennis doesn't what you to have a friendship with an old boyfriend (that is really his point) , I am not keen on anyone dictating who your friends can be . Tell Dennuis that you will cut back on your contact with Dan and that you promise to stop confiding your relationship troubles to him . Dennis rightly views that as a betrayal . And if you still harbor any romanartic feeling for Dan , then you should indeed end the relational .
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
We are very private people and do not have , nor do we want , a Social media account . Our Friends knows this , but when we sent her a picture of our newest grandchild via e-mail , she posted the picture with full details on her Facebook page without our premission .
We didn't say anything to her , but of course , we no longer send her any photographs . Please tell your readers that posting such things without premission ia a violation on someone's trust in you . Do you agree ?
Not A Social Media Fan
Dear Not ,
Yes ... and no . Many people don't mind and don't care . The fact that your friend knows you don't have a Facebook account doesn't mean she has any idea you abject to her posting your grandchild's photograph . She may have thought she was doing you a favor . Please don't be silent . Tell her you would appreciate it if she would remove the photo immediately and not post any others without your premission .
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
My husband and I have been married for 23 years and we have two teenage daughters . Our biggest issue is discipliningg the kids . I think they should do more household chores . My husband agrees in theory , but does nothing to hold them accountable , so the burden of discipline falls on me .
I'm sick of being the bad guy and living in a slovenly house that no one else cares about . I've talked tio them until I'm blue in the face . I've tried letting things go to see whether they'd eventually do something and that doesn't work either . Usually , I end up so frustt\rated that I throw a big hissy fit and clean it myself .
I'm ready to move out . To me , it's more than the mess . It's teaching the kids to be independent , to have some work ethic and to be accountable for their actions . To them , I'm being a nag . What should I do ?
Tired
Dear Tired ,
Nagging is part of your job as a parent . And it's okay to let some things go . he girls' room are theirs . Leave their clothes on the floor and their beds unmade . Tell them these things are their responsibility , and show them how to use the washer and dryer . If you can't stand te sifgt of the mess in their rooms , close their doors .
Common areas will be tougher , but they are counting on you to give up . Do not do these things for them out of ezasperation and try not to become angry . Offer incentives in the form of increased or decreased allowance . If your husband won't help , discuss hiring outside cleaning assistance .
Maxy
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