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Monday, July 16, 2012

Kids Say The Darndest Things 'Free For All'

Have you every wondered what kids think about what their parents do for a living ... especially their fathers ... here are a few cute ones straight out the mouths of babes .
*** What do your father do ?
Washes rags .
*** Is that a good business ?
Well we know who has the dirtiest rags in town . But I'm not supposed to tell .
My daddy spreads joy.
*** To whom ?
To anyone that can pay for it .
*** I don't understand what kind of job he has .
He's a bartender .
*** I'll bet someone put you up to this .
My mother . She's always joking and drinking beer .
***( And there the joke turned on dear old mom).
My father a school teacher .
*** That's a fine profession . Does he like it .
He only have one thing to complain about .
*** What's thast ?
The kids .
My dad's a professor of English at a college .
*** What does he think of the students ?
Well , he tell me the best student in his class ia a beautiful blonde girl with blue eyes and a tight sweater .
My father's a nurseryman and raises flowers. *** What sort ?
Algerians .
*** Algerians ? I repeated foggily .
Yes . Red ones , white ones and pink ones .
*** Don't you mean geraniums ? I corrected her .
Yes . Algerians .
My father's a physigist . It's something with electrons .
*** How do they work ? Do you know ?
Well , it's like two coke bottles with stuff inside them so that when it comes out and goes across between them , all of a sudden there's nothing .
*** Oh . That must be interesting work . And how about your mother ?
She's the Dean of Women at the college .
*** Is that a difficult job ?
She just goes to faculty luncheons .
*** Whith all this brain power in your family tree , what profession will you follow ?
A plumber .
My father's an electronics scientist.
*** Would you like to explaain futher ?
Well , I have to be careful of my pronunciation . He's a thinker .
*** So your Dad's a minister . Is he a good minister ?
He mush be a pretty smooth talker .
*** Why ?
Because on Sundays almost everybody goes to sleep but me and mother .
*** Doesn't that make your dad mad ?
Not nearly as mad as the collections . He gets two offering and the trouble is he's got a cheap congregation and most of them put in pennies .
*** What's your name ?
Rudigore Sitka .
*** With that kind of name , what kind of blood do you have in you ?
Red .
I mean where did your mother and father come from ?
Well , on my mother and father's side there a little Chicken-slovakian , some Jugosolavian , some French , a small hunk of Jewish and English and Scotch and I think there is one drop of Cherokee Indian .

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