Kids Say The Darndest Things 'Free For All'

Have you ever wondered what Parents , teachers tell kids not to say or do in public ... well , get a load of the sweet gems .

*** Do you have any instructions from anyone today ? Here are a few choice samples .

********************************************************************

My mother told me to pay no attention to all the crazy things my dad told me .

********************************************************************

My mother told me to be sure not to tell what the neighbors are saying about us .

********************************************************************

My mother told me to be sure to show you my new pink pants that tinkle .(They had bells)

*******************************************************************

My dad told me just one thing ; to keep my pants up . (five year old boy).

*******************************************************************

My mother told me to keep my legs together . (five year old girl).

*******************************************************************

My mother told me not to say that the last thing she said was to go to the toliet before I went on the program .

*******************************************************************

Nobody told me anything . My dad was late for work and was gulping down his breakfast . My mother was washing her hair . Grandmother had a stomach-ache . Everybody was too busy to tell me anything .

*******************************************************************

*** Sometimes the parental instructions are a bit more involved . Here are some typical samples .

*******************************************************************

*** What did your mother tell you not to say ?

She told me not to tell that she works on a coach.

*** What kind of work does she do on a couch ?

She cleans them , so I don't know what is wrong with that .

********************************************************************

*** Did your parents give you any instructions ?

My mother said to be funny and my dad told me to order an expensive steak.

*******************************************************************

My mother told me to be sure not to act off today .

*** What do you mean "act off?"

That means not to tell any bad jokes .

*** I wouldn't think you knew any bad jokes .

Sure , I know lots of them . My brother tells them to me , like the one , "Help ! I can't swim !" "Why ?" "I'm not in the water !"