Kids Say The Darndest Things 'Bombshells Away'

In the field of comedy , Bob Hope's most precious possessions are called "one liners." They're terse , pithy sentences that can get the build up and punch line condensed into one devastating srntence . Children , by their very directness , are master's of the "one-line" delivery .

Here's a choice collections of " BOMBS."

********************************************************************************

*** did you see santa this year ?

See him ? I fixed him a bourbon and water .

********************************************************************************

*** If you could change school any way you wished , how would you fix it ?

Burn it down .

********************************************************************************

*** What's your best subject in school ?

Recess

********************************************************************************

*** What are muscles ?

Sick meatballs .

*******************************************************************************

*** Have any brothers ?

I have two .

*** What ages ?

Ricky's two months , and David's nine months .

*** That's a pretty fast production record ... do you want a sister ?

Yes .

*** What does your mother say ?

She says , "Oh . puh-leeze no !"

******************************************************************************

*** Who does your baby sister look like ?

"My mother .

*** Add your older sister ?

"My father ."

*** And you ?

"The mailman ."

How so ?

" That what my mother is always telling the neighbors .

******************************************************************************

*** Do you have any pets ?

A cat .

*** What's his name ?

We're going to change it because he's a boy cat and next week he's going to have an operation to become an "it."

*** What will you call him then ?

Christine . If he doesn't like that , we will call him Sam Spade .

*******************************************************************************

*** What do you think you'll be when you grow up ?

According to my mother , I'll be a lawyer , probably .

*** What makes you think so ?

Well my mother says I talk so much all the time I might as well get paid for it .

*********************************************************************************

*** What do you want to be when you grow up ?

Nothing , because I don't want to grow up .

*** That's unusual . How come ?

Because of all the bills you have to pay at the end of the month .