Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

I am a 17-year-old who was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome at age 10 . My AS is mild and allows me to function better than most . However , I have an indivudualized education program and access to the learning / emotional support system in my school .

Since I have a mild type of As , my teachers often tell me they ""can't see any hint of AS." But they don't realize how difficult it is for me to talk to them .. and anyone ... about my condition .

I see a therapist on a regular basis , and she has confirmed my diagnosis . Could you recommend a support group ? This would be extremely helpful to me , especially since I will be leaving for college soon .

Aspie

Dear Aspie ,

Asperger syndrome is an autism spectrum disorder characterized by some degree of impairment in language and communication skills , as well as repetitive or restrictive patterns of thought and behavior . Treatment includes social skills training , cognitive behavioral therapy , medication , occupational or physical theraphy , specialized speech/language therapy and parent training and support .

You sound very high functioning , which is undoubtedly why your teachers question your diagnosis . The Online Asperger Syndrome Information and Support (OASIS) center has joined with MAAP Services for Autism and Asperger Syndrome to provide online support website at http:aspergersyndrome.org please check it out .

Maxy

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Dear Maxy,

I am an American female , and I recently went abroad to a country where women are not respected nearly as much as they are in the United States . There , women are treated as second class citizens and as though they could never be as talented as men .

In restaurants , I always recieved worse service than men , and I was quick to go up to the waiter directly when he was taking too long with something . But when in a country such as that one , how should a visiting female behave ? Should we conform to the standards of the country or act the way we would in America ?

Culturally Correct

Dear Cultually Correct ,

I can understand your dismay at the way women were treated in the country you visited , but I would caution you about your reaction . Have you ever heard the saying , "When in Rome , do as the Romans do ?" Well that applies here .

It is unrealistic for you to believe that the mores of a country should change to accommodate your lifestyle , needs or beliefs . When you visit another country , you should respect it's basic codes of conduct .

While the waiter may have been slow to respond to you , there's a good chance he may have just been slow . If it is not customary for a woman to complain about poor service , it's likely that the service did not improve after you said something . You have to pick your battles .

Many countries have dress codes that are different from the United States . For example , in Islamic countries , it is usually preferred that women cover their heads and dress modestly .

I would never want you to be harmed or mistreated wherever you are , but when you travel , one of the best ways to figure out how to be in that place is to observe closely . It may not make you feel good that women are not seen in the same light as they are in America , but you cannot change that in one trip . Your travels may help you to have a greater respect for the gains we have made in our country .

Maxy

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Dear Maxy,

I work at a cheese store , and often deliver cheese platters to people who are having specials events . Recently , we delivered a platter to someone who lost a love one . We like to follow up and receive feedback from our clients , however , in this circumstance how de we approach it ?

Treading Gently

Dear Treading Gently ,

You can follow up with a note saying that you hope the platter comforted the family and guests during their bereavement .

Maxy