Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,

My Husband and I have 6 adults children between us , all making a good living . Some of our children expect us to pay for their airfare to come visit us , in addition to picking them up at the airport , being their taxi service so they can go drinking at night and letting them use our car . At no tme does anyone put gas in the car or even treat us to a cheap breakfast .

During a recent visit , we made reservations for dinner with one son , his girlfriend , their daughter (who lives nearby) and the daughter's boyfriend .

That morning , my husband drove them to the beach (10 miles away ) . They then called to say they ate a late lunch and asked that we push back the reservation and that my husband pick them up from the daughter's house and bring them home to change . It seems the daughter didn't want to drive the 10 miles to our house .

I have told my husband that from now on , the kids must rent their own car when visiting . I'm tired of being their private chauffeur . Am I over reacting ?

Selfish Guests No Longer Welcome

Dear Guests ,

Of course not . If your children are old enough to have kids of their own , they should not need to be driven around by their parents . But I recommend a tactful approach . For the next visit , simply say , "We wish we could pick you up at the airport , but it won't be possible . We suggest you rent a car so you can have your own independence .

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

I am a married wife (25-years-old) with a small child and one on the way . My husband and I live in a small apartment . We know most of the people living around us , including the divorced woman (about 45) living below our apartment .

A few nights ago ahe brought home a guy . The weather was warm , and we had our windows open for the night . This lady had her bedroom window open as well . In the middle of the night , my husband and I could hear this woman and man having sex . It was discusting .

This isn't the first time this has happen . How do I politely tell her that we can hear her and that she should close her window .

Sound-Proof

Dear Sound-Proof ,

I want you to let go of any judgement you have about her . Otherwise , whenever you communicate with her , you may come across as insulting . Keep your goal in mind ; no more sex sounds .

It's likely your neighbor doesn't realize that she can be heard , and there's a good chance she may be embarrassed to know that you hear her . Approach her with the belief that she will be surprised and will be intereste d in resolving the matter .

You should speak privately with her and ask that she close her window doing those personal moments . Or slip a note under her door telling her your concerns .

Now , there is a chance it won't work . She may not care . If that's the case , you can either close your window or get a white-noise machine to help dull the sounds coming from her window into yours .

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

Before my mother passed away from her long battle with lung cancer , she and my father renewed their wedding vows on her deathbed . It was the most amazing experience in my life and I cried like a baby seeing my father renew his wedding vows .

My relationship with my father has not been the best over the past years , and I would like to make it better . What are some ways I can improve the relationship ?

For the Love of Mom

Dear For the Love of Mom ,

Choose to spend time with your father . Ask him to tell you stories of his relationship with your mother ; how they met , when they fell in love , what was it like when you were yong . Get him to travel down memory lane . This should warm him up .

Tell him stories about your life . Storytelling is a great way to connect with loved ones and may become the salve that heals and strengthens your bond .

Maxy