Love her or hate her, Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop has a cult-like fan base. The weekly lifestyle publication offers personal tips from Gwyneth on a variety of subjects like travel, well-being, health, relationships and sex.
Goop also has an online store, where you can purchase products curated by Gwyneth herself. The latest product that Goop thinks we all need is crystal eggs. For our vaginas.
Yes, that's right. Crystal eggs for vaginas. It comes in two options — rose quartz and jade — with each egg having different properties.
While the kegel exercise you might get out of holding an egg in your vagina is probably legitimate, the site also says it will increase chi, hormonal balance and feminine energy in general. Apparently, the jade egg (which costs $66!) is particularly good for getting rid of negative energy.
In honour of this new (and sold out!) addition to the Goop store, we decided to take a look at some of the most ridiculous things offered on the site as well as plenty of dubious advice from Gwyneth Paltrow.
‘The Goop Medicine Bag’
It seems Goop likes crystals! For $85, you get eight crystals and a drawstring bag. The cringe-worthy description really says it all: "Inspired by the Shaman's medicine bag from various indigenous traditions, this (goop-exclusive) pouch holds magically charged stones.
A $17,900 vibrator
It's coated in 24-karat gold plate. I guess you can't put a price on orgasms? There's also the $8,990 stainless steel version, if you're into that.
Goop recommends getting a "Mugworth V-Steam" that supposedly cleanses the uterus and creates an energetic release that balances female hormones. Ladies: don't steam your vagina. It cleans itself naturally. Don't mess with 'Mother Nature'.
Again, the body already has a way of naturally eliminating things that it doesn't need. Getting unnecessary colonics is a waste of time and can even harm you, with side effects like infections and dehydration.
Avoid chemical sunscreen
The website published an article called "Why Chemical Sunscreens Aren't Great" with lots of scary scientific words, but studies have shown that the chemicals in the products aren't harmful to humans at all. Wear sunscreen, everyone!
In case you're having a hard time getting in the mood, there's a recipe on how to create Sex Bark which is described as an "aphrodisiac warming potion, promoting enjoyable sex and fertility for both men and women." Oh, and one of the ingredients is Moon Pantry Sex Dust.... What the f...?
Go visit Gwenyth at Goop. It's fun.