Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I've been on antidepressant  and  bipolar medication  for 12  years . The problem is, I feel  I am being  over medicated . I want to sleep all day  . I am also legally deaf . I  live with my parents  because I am unable  to drive . My depression and resulting destructive  spiral  caused  my grades  to go south in college  which has  interfered with my ability to find  a  good  job  in my field  and not  all employers  are willing to make  accommodations  for  hearing  disability .
My parents  does  not  treat me  particularly well . The  medication helped  a lot  , but  being  on the meds  for so long has  cause other  problems , including  issues  with my short-term memory . I am tired  of taking  medications  that I  feel is  hindering  more than helping , I saw  a counselor for a while  some  years  ago , and  that did  me more  good than medication could . My family  refuses  to listen  to me when I tell them the  new  medications are  causing excessive drowsiness  . I have  been told  by them to simply  suck it  up . My  family  won't  let me stop taking the medications .
I would  like to find a job  so I can earn  enough money  to go back to college  , but  I have  no idea  where  to start . My only  job experience  is  some  community service I did  as  part  of my high school graduation requirements .
Fed  UP
Dear Fed  Up ,
First  phone or  make an appointment  to see the  doctor  who prescribed your  current  medication  and explain the  drowsiness  . It is  likely  you can have it  adjusted  . Also  you  could  use  some  emotional . Please  contact  the  Depression  and Bipolar  Support  Alliance  at  dbsalliance.org . Then check  your  state , city  and  county  government offices  for  jobs  for the  disabled  , along  with  the U.S. Dept. of  Labor   doleta.gov  and  serovicelocatr.org  at 1-877-US2-JOBS .
Maxy

Dear  Maxy ,
My   husband  is  a chain smoker  and  has  very poor  dental  hygiene  and has  lost most of  his  teeth He  has  never  been an affectionate  person , but  when he  does  decide  to kiss me , I am repulsed by his  cigarette  breath  and the fact  that he  hasn't  brushed  his  teeth .  Therefore  I  try to avoid  being  near him .
My  question to  you is : should  I nicely tell him  he  needs  to see  a dentist ?
---V
Dear V ,
Yes , dear . Otherwise  ,  you will be stuck  with this  situation  for the rest  of  your  married  life  and over time  , it will put  a terrible  and  unnecessary  strain on your  relational .
Tell him that  his  breath  could  use  some assistance . Make  him understand  that not  brushing  his teeth  puts  him at risk  for  heart  disease  . I suspect he  harbors  a fear  of  dentists , so assure  him  that current dental  techniques  take that into consideration , and there  are  varies  ways   to  alleviate  discomfort  .  Ask him to  come  with you to find a good dentist  he is  comfortable  with  . Also  but  him some breath freshener   that he  can gargle  with .
Maxy

Dear  Maxy ,
I have  been  dating  a guy  for  about  four  months now . He is  very sweet  to me . I like  his  personality  a lot .  I work in an office as  an office  manager  ,  he works  construction  . I think  that's  great , except he  doesn't  always  need to shower  and  change  at the  end  of the  day . So if he asks  me out on a date , even if  he  has  time to come  home  and , shower  and change , he  often does  not  . I don't want to sound  like  a snob , but  I really don't  want to  go to a nice restaurant  or  even to the  movies   and snuggles  up next  to someone  that smells  like dust and sweat .
Clean Up
Dear  Clean Up ,
I bet your  guy has  been single  for  a long  time  . One  of the  most  common  "side affects" of a loving  relationship  is  some  good TLC. Chances  are , he  hasn't  put  two and  two together  at all . He  is  so eager  to see you  , getting to  you is  at the top of  his  mind . Bathing  is  not  even n the radar . Definitely  tell him , but in a nice  way  . When you are planning  for  your  next date   , ask  him what  he's  going to wear . Encourage  him  by suggesting  that  he  shower  and wear  whatever  cologne  you like that he  wears s, or  you could  name  a specific  shirt  and  tie that  you  have  loved  him wearing  in the past . Make  it  a sensuous experience . That should  encourage  him to  clean  up .
Maxy